Unnatural Kiwi
Sex Demon
- Joined
- May 6, 2011
- Messages
- 290
- Reputation score
- 41
I thought some people might enjoy reading some of the more odd/amusing/karma slap reports I receive on a somewhat daily basis.
More to come later when I realize where I left my paper that I wrote them on...
{Man with warrants calls police due to a violent argument with a friend. The fight started due to the friend snitching on the man for a robbery he committed that created said warrants. Man goes to jail.}
{A family secured their bikes on the back of their SUV on a bike rack. A thief, unable to remove the bikes' locks from the rack, decides to take the entire rack from the SUV and leaves with it.}
{A 16 year old kid, who had his internet taken away from him for bad grades, decides he can't live without internet. Stage 1: threatens parents with knives and fails Stage 2: attempts to stab himself in front of parents and fails Stage 3: attempts to light himself on fire and fails Stage 4: taken in for mental evaluation}
{Two elderly people (male and female) go missing in a living center. They are later discovered in the same bed fully naked. Both have dementia and don't remember anything.}
{Check welfare call of a male who sent a picture to his girlfriend holding a gun in his mouth. Upon arrival at the boyfriend's house, it is discovered the gun is stolen, so the boyfriend goes to jail. When asked why he sent the picture, he replied it was to get his girlfriend to stop texting him.}
{Burglary 2 call to a residence. After the victim searches around the house to see what has been stolen, he informs us that the only thing the thief stole was a half foot tall Buddha statue. Electronics and other high value items went untouched.}
{A lady having a candlelit bath on the second story of her house. Neighbors see the flickering of the flames through the window and call 911 shouting fire. Police and Fire Dept. arrive and break in the lady's front door. Rushing up to the top floor, they open the bathroom door to find the lady rather surprised and desperately covering herself.}
{A lady calls police, and upon arrival, says to arrest the woman standing nearby. She exclaims that she paid $20 to the woman for drugs, but she didn't give her any drugs and kept the money. The lady is arrested for attempting to buy narcotics. The other woman is voluntarily searched for any narcotics and released when it is shown she has none.}
{A man mails a package with his name and the business' name where he works to the business itself. Naturally, the business owner arrives to open the business and opens the package finding boxes of nerds within the package. Inside the nerd boxes were various pills mixed in with the nerd candy. The man was arrested once he came to work and claimed his package.}
{A man parks their vehicle on the side of the highway and proceeds to forcibly toss out his soon to be fiance along with her two kids over an argument. Once out of the vehicle, he assaults her before getting back in the vehicle and driving off, leaving them there. Not long later, the man causes a wreck and drives off from that as well. A biker follows the man until he has a chance to go to the man's vehicle, drag him out of it, and proceed to assault him, breaking one of his arms in the process. The biker then calls police as to where to find the hit and run man and leaves as witnesses watch in shock.}
{A suspicious activity call where a store called about a man that came into the store and bought a porno magazine, an extension cord, two pairs of panty hose, a rope, and a hammer.}
{A lady parks her orange hummer at a Chinese restaurant, leaves her purse in the passenger seat, and goes inside. Later she comes out to find her passenger window broken and the purse missing. Inside the purse sitting alone outside was $2,000 in cash, various credit cards, and $31,000 in jewelry.}
{A family secured their bikes on the back of their SUV on a bike rack. A thief, unable to remove the bikes' locks from the rack, decides to take the entire rack from the SUV and leaves with it.}
{A 16 year old kid, who had his internet taken away from him for bad grades, decides he can't live without internet. Stage 1: threatens parents with knives and fails Stage 2: attempts to stab himself in front of parents and fails Stage 3: attempts to light himself on fire and fails Stage 4: taken in for mental evaluation}
{Two elderly people (male and female) go missing in a living center. They are later discovered in the same bed fully naked. Both have dementia and don't remember anything.}
{Check welfare call of a male who sent a picture to his girlfriend holding a gun in his mouth. Upon arrival at the boyfriend's house, it is discovered the gun is stolen, so the boyfriend goes to jail. When asked why he sent the picture, he replied it was to get his girlfriend to stop texting him.}
{Burglary 2 call to a residence. After the victim searches around the house to see what has been stolen, he informs us that the only thing the thief stole was a half foot tall Buddha statue. Electronics and other high value items went untouched.}
{A lady having a candlelit bath on the second story of her house. Neighbors see the flickering of the flames through the window and call 911 shouting fire. Police and Fire Dept. arrive and break in the lady's front door. Rushing up to the top floor, they open the bathroom door to find the lady rather surprised and desperately covering herself.}
{A lady calls police, and upon arrival, says to arrest the woman standing nearby. She exclaims that she paid $20 to the woman for drugs, but she didn't give her any drugs and kept the money. The lady is arrested for attempting to buy narcotics. The other woman is voluntarily searched for any narcotics and released when it is shown she has none.}
{A man mails a package with his name and the business' name where he works to the business itself. Naturally, the business owner arrives to open the business and opens the package finding boxes of nerds within the package. Inside the nerd boxes were various pills mixed in with the nerd candy. The man was arrested once he came to work and claimed his package.}
{A man parks their vehicle on the side of the highway and proceeds to forcibly toss out his soon to be fiance along with her two kids over an argument. Once out of the vehicle, he assaults her before getting back in the vehicle and driving off, leaving them there. Not long later, the man causes a wreck and drives off from that as well. A biker follows the man until he has a chance to go to the man's vehicle, drag him out of it, and proceed to assault him, breaking one of his arms in the process. The biker then calls police as to where to find the hit and run man and leaves as witnesses watch in shock.}
{A suspicious activity call where a store called about a man that came into the store and bought a porno magazine, an extension cord, two pairs of panty hose, a rope, and a hammer.}
{A lady parks her orange hummer at a Chinese restaurant, leaves her purse in the passenger seat, and goes inside. Later she comes out to find her passenger window broken and the purse missing. Inside the purse sitting alone outside was $2,000 in cash, various credit cards, and $31,000 in jewelry.}
More to come later when I realize where I left my paper that I wrote them on...