Because when I get bored, I get stupid

[Tassadar]

I beseech thine aid members of this forum. And I thought one or more of you might find this funny.

One of my female friends likes me a bit too much, if you get my meaning. She is intent on spending the night before her day off at my house, and sleeping in my bed. No, I'm not kidding. No, I'm not making this up. She's bi, and has double F cups, but isn't fat. No, I'm not making that up either. I don't know wtf to do.

 

[lurker]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

I beseech thine aid members of this forum. And I thought one or more of you might find this funny.

One of my female friends likes me a bit too much, if you get my meaning. She is intent on spending the night before her day off at my house, and sleeping in my bed. No, I'm not kidding. No, I'm not making this up. She's bi, and has double F cups, but isn't fat. No, I'm not making that up either. I don't know wtf to do.

Two words: molest at the least!

 

[Tassadar]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

That's four words....

 

[Chibichibi]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid



Um. Tell her to leave you alone?

 

[aika]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Sleep in your bed with you in it?

And don't worry, we're not one of those boards that goes "I don't believe you, enjoy your hand".

 

[Tassadar]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Sleep in your bed with you in it?

And don't worry, we're not one of those boards that goes "I don't believe you, enjoy your hand".

That's her idea.

I didn't think so for about half of you. I'm looking more for laughs than actual advice.

 

[ShadowWolfSBI]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Then replace your bedsheets with dull plastic sporks before she shows up.

 

[Tassadar]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Then replace your bedsheets with dull plastic sporks before she shows up.

Good idea!

 

[ShadowWolfSBI]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Or you could just make all new furniture out of butt-wipe (toilet paper) and duct tape.

 

[DarkFire1004]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

If she wants to sleep in her bed, make her cook dinner first.

 

[aika]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

How about you have sex with her?

Seems like the sensible thing to do.

Assuming she wants to.

 

[ToxicShock]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

I agree with Aika if that becomes obvious over the time that she's there. I mean she's not going to crash by sleeping as soon as she gets there. Wait and evaluate how the night goes and if for some reason you still feel the need for distance, take the nice guy approach and say you'll sleep on the couch.

But make sure you wash your bed of any stains first, it'd be weird if she was in your bed alone and then rubs up against one of the stiff parts of your blanket

 

[DarkFire1004]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

take the nice guy approach and say you'll sleep on the couch.

XD I can imagine the opposite: "Yeah... You're sleeping on the couch. Sorry."

 

[ToxicShock]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Oh my humor is nice but when I'm serious, I'm actually a very chivalrous guy. I feel kinda bad about making jokes at anyone's expense but I feel people really need the ability to laugh at themselves. So yes, I will tell sexist jokes to the extreme, I know quite a lot of them, but you can always count on me to be a moral compass when in need.
This goes for any of you. It usually takes me years to get close enough to someone to get them to trust that they can have faith in me for anything, but considering this is the internet, I think that certain level of anonymity can hurt that cause so I'll just say this from the start and not care if you believe me.
People go out of their way to get me to help them with anything along the lines of a social problem, be it a logical problem, moral issue, psychological, guidance of pretty much any sort.

Having said that, dark, you're sleeping in the basement.

 

[DarkFire1004]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Damn it. Do I at least get a blanket this time?

 

[Nunu]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

it depends on how you feel, if she's interested in you and your not interested in her you dont get to sleep together.

Even if she insists that she doesn't want a relationship and just likes in the pooper then you dont get to go for it, when sex gets involved no matter what anyone says relationships will happen unless you've been best friends for months and just get bored. so if you've been together a while i guess you get lucky

if you want to date her... well then everyone is different and i've got no advice.

at the end of the day if you don't want to risk it make sure there aren't any condoms around and claim you wont risk it. obviously this wont work a second time cos they'll bring some with.

Also i'm not sure why its necessary to list her cup size... i mean you could say she's ugly or attractive but actual cup size just sounds like your compensating for something. Regardless though that doesn't actually matter as to how you feel about her, be it wanting to date or just remain friends.

so what do you want to do? once you know that sex is just a side benefit that you may get or have to do without.

 

[DarkFire1004]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

*NO NUNU CORRECTING HERE. YESSIR!*

 

[ShadowWolfSBI]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Which was where my bizarreness got involved.

...

...

PINTO BEANS!

 

[dmronny]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Ah yes, pinto beans. I concur pinto beans would definately solve all your problems with this conundrum. Well duct tape will work too, but I'm sure we all knew that.

 

[ShadowWolfSBI]

Re: Because when I get bored, I get stupid

Indeed. Just keep a large jar of pinto beans next to your computer desk (Made, of course, out of duct tape and buttwipe.) and throw a handful at anyone who enters. Consider yelling "PINTO BEANS" at the top of your lungs as you throw them.