RPG RPG Maker [Tentacle3g] Sword Maiden of Azure Dragon (RJ250198)

[tentacle3g]

By the way, a pretty major bug: If the girls are depraved enough, when rescuing somebody Jiao seems to be able to surrender to the monsters herself. Afterward neither character will have her weapon or armor equipped. This causes a number of problems:

1) If you go to the mansion and try to change outfits you will be stuck inside the room forever because it doesn't seem to want to let you leave if your weapons aren't equipped, but it's not actually possible for the characters to equip their own weapons for some reason? So you're trapped. You also cannot teleport. The game basically seems to think that Jaio is naked if she doesn't have her sword equipped, except you can't fix it because it's impossible to manually equip weapons.

2) If you attempt to use a TP skill in battle the game will crash because it can't find the right combat CG cutin move for the character not having a weapon (if you use one of Jaio's skills it will show her body but with no facial expression sprite and with no sword in hand).

3) The only way I've found to recover the weapons is to get defeated by h-monsters. Jiao gets her sword back after that scene. However, I cannot find any way to restore Jeanne and Leanna's weapons. I tried getting defeated in a normal fight, but Jiao has too much defense to die even if she's at 1 HP from Poison, so I have no idea if that fixes anything. Advancing time or continuing the story doesn't help. And yes, cutins crash the game for Jeanne/Leanna too, so this is gamebreaking and unfixable.

Seriously, characters need to be able to equip their own weapon, or else using the"remove everyone from the party" command should also force them to equip their default weapon like it forces them to equip their default outfit.

Also an unrelated text problem: In Angel's rescue prompt she says they need to rescue Leanna, but it should be Jeanne. A number of Jeanne's h-scenes also accidentally refer to her as Jiao for some reason.

You may have found a BUG that we didn't find before.

I'll discuss this with the programmer (WOLFEQ).

 

[tentacle3g]

Yes, I noticed that too. This also happens for some of the story text where the wrong character was referenced. However, the official translation stopped at ch2, so was going to wait and see. We need a consistency proof reading later on.

Other parts like some of Jeanne's H Title in the Sex Exploit Room Teleportation Crystal also has some Chinese text that have not been removed. e.g. Prostitute Arch Paladin.

Overall, translation of people's names, item names, and various title from Chinese to English could use a rework. I am not saying hentleman did a bad job, but there are room for improvement in terms of westernizing it and making it easier to understand and easier to roll off the tongue. For example, Jeanne and Leanna are both names that easily rolls off the tongue given their western origin. Jiao Long is okay too since her name is everywhere so people will get use to it quickly.

Item names like Lewd Witch's Assault Bracer Duplicate for example.
- Witch is traditionally associated with magic/magic damage.
- I understand you want to be faithful to the Chinese Names, but there are times when you want to draw a line and cut out the flowery description in the original Chinese, and make it straight forward and easy to understand in English (e.g. Assault Bracer Replica). The problem lies with English as a language, it is not lithographically descriptive like Chinese. Forcefully direct translating the names would just make the English very clunky. It is unfortunate that some of it would be lost in translation.

And if you give the archivist Virl or however you want to spell it a name, you should consider giving one to the Trainband Captain and also the Dance Troupe Leader. They maybe minor characters, but I find naming a character in Western literature very important, as it helps establish the character and also the reader's relationship with the character.

As for the archivist quest, I recommend putting Virl's location in part of the quest text to reduce confusion (I started from the dock and talked to everyone all the way to the school, and then started talking to every NPC inside a building before I finally found her...).

Other minor name considerations:
齊格飛: Sigfree vs. Sigfried. The in-game translation has Sigfree, but Sigfried is the more accepted English spelling, given your target audiences are Westerners.
該隱: Gain vs. Gawain. Gain is also a normal regular use English verb, to avoid the confusion, would Gawain work?
安潔爾: Angel vs. Angela? While there is nothing wrong with Angel's name as is, we do have references to 6-wing angels and other angels, etc. While it is still pretty clear right now when we reference Angel, it might be safer to call her Angela instead to avoid confusion down the road... and I don't think this change will affect name calling between Yeeua and Angel skit much.
伊悠: Yeeua - I assume this translated name is Korean in nature? Too many vowels to roll off the tongue naturally in English. Would Yelena work? Take your pick at

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.
虎天雄 Xiong Hu - I find English speakers usually get confused/don't do too well when dealing with a 2-word name. Also, the translation of Hu doesn't bring out his tiger nature. It might be easier for the readers if we simply go with Tianxiong and recognize the 虎 in his title? (e.g. Tianxiong the Tiger Lord) And when Jiao interacts with him, we can simply stay with "Perverted Big Kitty" to show their bond/closeness.

When you are ready for us to proof read, maybe you can add a name translation table, so we can also check for consistency at the same time.

I have recorded your suggestion, and thank you very much.

 

[tentacle3g]

I know that... but I don't want the H battle to be fast forwarded! However, I am getting too lazy to skip the text after 400 H attacks

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You have reached a record with no predecessors...

 

[tentacle3g]

tentacle3g
Another suggestion:
For monster H Attack, we currently have the sequence for oppai > mouth > vagina > anal > Double Penetration
However, the Double Penetration for Arousal Deman's H Attack does not always make sense, especially if the player killed off the other H mobs. (DP works fine for tentacles )
Perhaps you can change it to spank and fuck for humanoid? (since they are already sticking their butt out) This also gives a slight variation between Arousal monster species.

Lastly, instead of having the girls get moved to the arousal monster nest directly, give the player one more turn to escape so we can fully enjoy the H

Thanks for your advice, I'll communicate with the programmer (WOLFEQ) to discuss the possibility of improvement.

 

[tentacle3g]

Quick Review/Recommendation of the game

Just finished up to the end of the current demo/alpha build, story is very well written. It is just as good as the eye candy you see on the first page, the story is compelling enough that getting to those lovely CG is not always top of mind, as you want to keep going to find out what happened next. Me having the benefit of being able to read Chinese makes a difference obviously, but given what have been translated so far, I must say that English players would be in for a treat down the road.

What makes this story really standout is the main character 龍玉嬌 (Jiao Long). Her character is elaborately designed... she is both devious and nice at the same time (naughty just doesn't cut it). And her character really grew on me. I do love to see her tease Jeanne and Leanne more down the road, and I see plenty of potential in the promised free mode. And speaking of Jeanne and Leanne, the main supporting cast is also splendid, and not just visually. The three girls' temperament would definitely grow on you.

Translations are fairly fluent (only ch1 & 2 have been fully translated, ch.3-5 are mostly the critical lines). Most of the translation are fairly good quality, on par with what you would get from anime subs (nothing like google translate or what some of you had seen in Cursed Armor). Overall, it is a great first attempt. However, names - character names, item names, place names, titles, etc. need some polishing. There are also some spots where the translation tries to keep all the words and description from the original source material, and that need some cleaning up too.

Combat wise, it is a little different than most RPG Maker games. The HP Regen Mechanic on the bosses means you aren't going to get anywhere if you blindly attack. Need to be patient to build your TP (the big giveaway are those 50 and 100 TP attacks, use them strategically!). Chain your attacks and make use of element weakness to out-damage the Regen Mechanic. While this is not the most creative, it does the trick within the constraints of RPG Maker to stop people from blindly spamming attack. The key is to effectively burst down the boss, and level grinding may not always help you. The last angel boss uses the mass sacrifice spell (2 hits of 30% each which also heal the boss), so as long as you understand that and keep your HP above 60%, you can kill her with a little work. No luck involved in boss fights. H Attacks also works a little differently here, as those are reserved for fights against H Monsters.

Anyway, both story and combat wise, the pacing is fairly good overall. Story is engaging enough that you want to push forward. You just want to see what Jiao Long would do next, or how exactly would her deception work out. And being a bisexual predator, she has no qualm about doing it with anyone that fancies her (especially Jeanne and Leanne). So there is never a dull moment, be it to see how she screw over her next unfortunate opponent, or the girls around her.

So I do recommend you all give this game a try

As the original author of the novel (the game is adapted to my own novel), I am very grateful to you for your careful taste.

The story of the game has compacted a lot of plot than the original novel.

I'll try to finish the game on the basis of the present.

By the way, if it's convenient, please recommend this game to your friends and support our Patreon.

Thanks again。

 

[tentacle3g]

Welkin2 thanks for the review, I've never seen so much constructive advises in one post (they are all very helpful). do that more and the tentacle monster will send you a love letter.

You can forward his comments to our Patreon web page.

 

[als40]

It looks very nice, come on 3G, do not know to have Chinese version

 

[FinalCloud]

She is not human and is not subject to “human morality”...

Understood, and it is fair enough, but I am human, and I am the player =D

 

[Welkin2]

As the original author of the novel (the game is adapted to my own novel), I am very grateful to you for your careful taste.

The story of the game has compacted a lot of plot than the original novel.

I'll try to finish the game on the basis of the present.

By the way, if it's convenient, please recommend this game to your friends and support our Patreon.

Thanks again。

Is there a link to your novel somewhere? Having a well established story before creating a game definitely makes a difference.
Also, let me know if you guys want some help with proofreading/translation.

 

[sacredfire]

Quick question. Does this game have any or will have any bad ends or GOR?

 

[tentacle3g]

It looks very nice, come on 3G, do not know to have Chinese version

Please look carefully.

Now it is divided into the traditional Chinese version and the English version.

 

[tentacle3g]

Understood, and it is fair enough, but I am human, and I am the player =D

You don't have to put yourself in this role....

 

[tentacle3g]

Is there a link to your novel somewhere? Having a well established story before creating a game definitely makes a difference.
Also, let me know if you guys want some help with proofreading/translation.

I send you a private letter.

Thanks again。

 

[tentacle3g]

Quick question. Does this game have any or will have any bad ends or GOR?

It depends on your definition of "BAD"...

Our heroine is a bisexual queen who abuses her enemies in a variety of ways.

Of course, there are also H scenes of defeat and humiliation. If the defeat is too many times, it will affect the end.

 

[satoshi1]

It depends on your definition of "BAD"...

Our heroine is a bisexual queen who abuses her enemies in a variety of ways.

Of course, there are also H scenes of defeat and humiliation. If the defeat is too many times, it will affect the end.

Is your novel wuxia in natural, similar to Douluo Dalu?

 

[dying4anime]

Currently in chapter 5,

For the Eden of Girls quest, i warped to New Hamburg and went to the same location as Eden of Boys quest. There was only a nun standing in front of the building, but nothing happens when I talk to her. Am I doing something wrong?

Also I tried going to 2nd floor of mansion at night and tried to have sex with Jeanne, but when I clicked the 2nd option, nothing happens as well.

 

[tentacle3g]

Is your novel wuxia in natural, similar to Douluo Dalu?

The fantasy continent adventure of the Oriental heroine.

And the heroine is a bisexual queen.

Basically, no one has written such a subject.

 

[tentacle3g]

Currently in chapter 5,

For the Eden of Girls quest, i warped to New Hamburg and went to the same location as Eden of Boys quest. There was only a nun standing in front of the building, but nothing happens when I talk to her. Am I doing something wrong?

Also I tried going to 2nd floor of mansion at night and tried to have sex with Jeanne, but when I clicked the 2nd option, nothing happens as well.

Please pay attention to the updated chapter guide, some events have time limit, some events can only happen once, you may miss it.

 

[FinalCloud]

You don't have to put yourself in this role....

Its an RPG dude! Role Playing Game -.-

 

[satoshi1]

The fantasy continent adventure of the Oriental heroine.

And the heroine is a bisexual queen.

Basically, no one has written such a subject.

Eh, I think I read some wuxia with characters like that. A bisexual king though who loves the MC who were usually little boys. But hey, that is just the manhua I found once in awhile.