Once upon a time, there lived a man named Peter McDicks. He was gay and an anarchist. He died because his mother trained to be a ninja and assassinated him with a butterknife. But then came me, in glorious radiance of the holy burning sun. I punched Peter's mother in the fucking face and avenged Peter McDicks' death with a spatula.
But that I found out that Peter McDicks was actually alive. He was hypnotizing me into thinking he was killed by his mother. In reality I killed Bruce Campbell with Lady Gaga's kidney.
Then I got constipated and dressed up as batman. I went to the moon and took a long vacation, taking a big dirty poop in the craters. In fact, those craters you see on the moon... They aren't craters at all!! They are just smelly stains left by my catastrophic work.
I found myself waking up on top of my cat. Which I don't have actually, so I think I was sleeping on top of a toilet. I was in a coma for months. I drank ten tons of tylenol. It was actually tomato juice. But then I found I was drinking someone's period. It was gross. really gross. I threw up my lunch.
But I'm all okay now and I came back to say hi. So...
Hi.
But that I found out that Peter McDicks was actually alive. He was hypnotizing me into thinking he was killed by his mother. In reality I killed Bruce Campbell with Lady Gaga's kidney.
Then I got constipated and dressed up as batman. I went to the moon and took a long vacation, taking a big dirty poop in the craters. In fact, those craters you see on the moon... They aren't craters at all!! They are just smelly stains left by my catastrophic work.
I found myself waking up on top of my cat. Which I don't have actually, so I think I was sleeping on top of a toilet. I was in a coma for months. I drank ten tons of tylenol. It was actually tomato juice. But then I found I was drinking someone's period. It was gross. really gross. I threw up my lunch.
But I'm all okay now and I came back to say hi. So...
Hi.
