qwerpoiu80
Demon Girl Pro
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2012
- Messages
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(Originally posted in the general hentai thread. Also added a poll.)
How have your interests in porn and hentai benefited you in real life? It’s not a question that tends to get asked, I suspect mainly because the assumed answer is that it’s NOT beneficial to be interested in porn. It’s a seedy, clandestine pastime, very rarely something people are proud of, and never spoken about except in hushed tones on the internet, and even then almost always under the protective guise of anonymity. It carries connotations of escapism: that you’re such a failure at life at being able to pick up real girls that you need to resort to your own personal fantasies to fulfill one of man’s basest biological needs. And I used to think that way, until very recently, an IRL experience made me see things slightly differently, and I'd like to see how many people feel the same way.
WARNING: SMALL WALL OF PERSONAL TEXT INCOMING
What I am essentially saying is that hentai fulfills my basic need for human companionship. It also fulfills the need for sex. Yes, there, I said it. Sex. Culturally almost always a taboo topic. But so ingrained into our biological impulses that to deny it will probably more than likely make you spontaneously implode under the pressure. And for me, after I got over the societal taboo, I think it made me a lot more able to enjoy myself. To be satisfied that, actually, it’s fine to fap. It’s fine to enjoy your fetishes. To enjoy eroge. Or H-games. Or sprite sex. Or watching those adorable little things losing themselves in throes of unrestrained pleasure as they... you get the point, I think! I now feel fine in fulfilling those needs in this way. And I feel this self-assuredness has done wonders in sharpening my interactions with the opposite sex. I am able to pull back. I am able to speak to them normally. I no longer have my brain too occupied with the thought of “relationships” when I speak to someone I love. And I no longer feel that the prospect of it “not working out” is a threat because I can fall back into my harem at will any time I so choose. And when it comes down to doing the dirty, I can make like I’m a complete VETERAN even though I’m a virgin who hasn’t romantically kissed anyone all his life. Sure, I’d probably sound like a Z-list eroge scriptwriter dropout, but I’d at least be able to carry myself with an air of confidence that comes with thinking about it every time you fap! Again, yes, the real life experience is different, as media representations of things always go, but allowing yourself space to think about sex on a regular basis, if nothing else, has the effect of demystifying it. It helps you consider your preferences and make you aware of what turns you on, and how you might consider balancing that against a real partner who might well come with completely different ideas to yours.
You might at this point question the wisdom of what I am doing. Staving off an IRL relationship with virtual porn? Trying to satisfy a lust for a real girl with an imaginary character? Thinking you can learn about sex by reading eroge? Doesn’t this feed into the escapism argument all over again? To which the answer, probably, is yes. Well, then you should stop doing it - it can’t be healthy to enable yourself in this way! Ahh, now this is where I’d beg to differ. Obviously I can only speak from personal experience - but I’d argue that the benefits of being allowed this outlet to discover myself, as an assurance of a fail-safe should my IRL endeavours fall to ruin, far outweigh the risks of what you are trying to hint at. There is of course the danger of confusing fantasy and reality, and I fully accept that. Indeed, I think this is the chief reason why porn should remain age-restricted, no matter how liberal your culture is. But I’d hope anyone who browses porn is able to tell the differences, and certainly, I feel I’ve enough life experience outside of porn to be able to form a relative balance of the two. And I suppose this feeds into the wider question of, as 4chan put it, whether 2D is superior to 3DPD. To which I’d argue that associating 2D with negative associations of escapism that’s “unhealthy” or “bad” is a flawed premise as well. Shakespeare’s plays and Greek Classics like Homer’s Iliad are taught in schools to kids in hopes that it’ll teach them more about human behaviour – and you don’t hear anyone accusing them of fostering “escapism” very often! Personally, I feel, as long as you include the proviso of being able to distinguish fantasy from reality, it’s really trying to compare apples and oranges – two very different things that fulfil very different needs. And as long as you’re able to do this – and, for the record, no one can really tell you whether or not you can but your own honest self – to my fellow lovers of porn at ULMF, I’d say, fap on~
tl;dr: I think it’s stupid that everyone thinks that porn is bad. Accepting the fact that I like to fap has increased my confidence and taught me lifeskills whose reach extends far beyond the strengthening of my right forearm muscles. I’d like to know if you guys and girls think the same, and if so, in what way?
How have your interests in porn and hentai benefited you in real life? It’s not a question that tends to get asked, I suspect mainly because the assumed answer is that it’s NOT beneficial to be interested in porn. It’s a seedy, clandestine pastime, very rarely something people are proud of, and never spoken about except in hushed tones on the internet, and even then almost always under the protective guise of anonymity. It carries connotations of escapism: that you’re such a failure at life at being able to pick up real girls that you need to resort to your own personal fantasies to fulfill one of man’s basest biological needs. And I used to think that way, until very recently, an IRL experience made me see things slightly differently, and I'd like to see how many people feel the same way.
WARNING: SMALL WALL OF PERSONAL TEXT INCOMING
The short answer is that I fell in love with a girl I know. I’ll spare you the finer details but basically, I found myself thinking about her, very often. Imagining us together. Imagining our future. Imagining us enjoying life, growing old together, and enjoying the journey as we lived it out. Having been in love before I know from past experiences that I would normally have reacted to this like most other guys would have in this situation – become a confused wreck. I’d totally lose my cool. My priorities in life would be radically refocused towards her, no matter if I had other super-important stuff going on. I’d want to speak to her. To be with her. To take it further. Know everything about her. I’d want to call her 24/7, you know, just to let her know how I feel. When they weren’t completely weirded out and would respond, I’d be a blubbering mess. And if they hadn’t responded in time because, you know, they’ve actually GOT a life and are busy with something else, I’d call them UNTIL they responded to my blubbering mess. Incoherent. Not smooth. Unfocused. And never mind trying to be attractive or advance any notion of a “relationship” – hell, it’d be a job just to get a grain of sense out of me in that state of mind.
Needless to say, such behaviour is not attractive. Clinginess is not attractive. And such a chaotic obsession with that other person that completely decentralises who you are just makes you look like you’ve more issues than most reasonably well-adjusted people would bother with. No, what you’re supposed to be is ice-cool. Aloof. NOT a romanticist. At least not in the early stages of the game anyways. Not when you’ve not done enough to show the girl you’re someone worth loving, and preferably not before you’ve accumulated enough evidence to suggest that there is at least a CHANCE that she might be tempted to reciprocate. Because, yes, that’s what cultivating attraction is, I think. A game. A tricky interaction that you need to manage, with the utmost caution and precision. This isn’t to say you CAN’T love the person, I think. You can – but you must be careful about how and when you show it. You must be in total control. And paradoxically, while it probably feels like your number 1 priority in this world, YOU MUST NOT ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A FUCK. This is because being alpha MEANS not giving a fuck. You do not give a fuck, because it subtly implies that you’ve LISTS of suitors you can pick from if that one person rejects you. That’s the truth of attraction, I think: the self-assurance, the acting like you’re so alpha can have anyone ELSE, or anyTHING. And there, my friends, is where hentai comes in to play. My present self feels self-assured enough that I do not need to rely on this one person to fulfill my companionship needs, simply because I have access, at will, to a bevy of perfect girls that would fulfill all those needs and probably a few more – albeit none of these other girls are real.
Needless to say, such behaviour is not attractive. Clinginess is not attractive. And such a chaotic obsession with that other person that completely decentralises who you are just makes you look like you’ve more issues than most reasonably well-adjusted people would bother with. No, what you’re supposed to be is ice-cool. Aloof. NOT a romanticist. At least not in the early stages of the game anyways. Not when you’ve not done enough to show the girl you’re someone worth loving, and preferably not before you’ve accumulated enough evidence to suggest that there is at least a CHANCE that she might be tempted to reciprocate. Because, yes, that’s what cultivating attraction is, I think. A game. A tricky interaction that you need to manage, with the utmost caution and precision. This isn’t to say you CAN’T love the person, I think. You can – but you must be careful about how and when you show it. You must be in total control. And paradoxically, while it probably feels like your number 1 priority in this world, YOU MUST NOT ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A FUCK. This is because being alpha MEANS not giving a fuck. You do not give a fuck, because it subtly implies that you’ve LISTS of suitors you can pick from if that one person rejects you. That’s the truth of attraction, I think: the self-assurance, the acting like you’re so alpha can have anyone ELSE, or anyTHING. And there, my friends, is where hentai comes in to play. My present self feels self-assured enough that I do not need to rely on this one person to fulfill my companionship needs, simply because I have access, at will, to a bevy of perfect girls that would fulfill all those needs and probably a few more – albeit none of these other girls are real.
You might at this point question the wisdom of what I am doing. Staving off an IRL relationship with virtual porn? Trying to satisfy a lust for a real girl with an imaginary character? Thinking you can learn about sex by reading eroge? Doesn’t this feed into the escapism argument all over again? To which the answer, probably, is yes. Well, then you should stop doing it - it can’t be healthy to enable yourself in this way! Ahh, now this is where I’d beg to differ. Obviously I can only speak from personal experience - but I’d argue that the benefits of being allowed this outlet to discover myself, as an assurance of a fail-safe should my IRL endeavours fall to ruin, far outweigh the risks of what you are trying to hint at. There is of course the danger of confusing fantasy and reality, and I fully accept that. Indeed, I think this is the chief reason why porn should remain age-restricted, no matter how liberal your culture is. But I’d hope anyone who browses porn is able to tell the differences, and certainly, I feel I’ve enough life experience outside of porn to be able to form a relative balance of the two. And I suppose this feeds into the wider question of, as 4chan put it, whether 2D is superior to 3DPD. To which I’d argue that associating 2D with negative associations of escapism that’s “unhealthy” or “bad” is a flawed premise as well. Shakespeare’s plays and Greek Classics like Homer’s Iliad are taught in schools to kids in hopes that it’ll teach them more about human behaviour – and you don’t hear anyone accusing them of fostering “escapism” very often! Personally, I feel, as long as you include the proviso of being able to distinguish fantasy from reality, it’s really trying to compare apples and oranges – two very different things that fulfil very different needs. And as long as you’re able to do this – and, for the record, no one can really tell you whether or not you can but your own honest self – to my fellow lovers of porn at ULMF, I’d say, fap on~
tl;dr: I think it’s stupid that everyone thinks that porn is bad. Accepting the fact that I like to fap has increased my confidence and taught me lifeskills whose reach extends far beyond the strengthening of my right forearm muscles. I’d like to know if you guys and girls think the same, and if so, in what way?