On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

BlueSlime

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Aug 12, 2010
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#1
"Okay. Let's see what the good ol' bounty board has for us today."

Tulip Tauphuuch was sitting in the reverse direction on her swivel pilot's chair aboard her ship, the Down N' Out. Her front was pressed against the chair's back support, and her head and shoulders were peering over it to see the readout on her secure comm channel.

In the background, a heavy bass and synthesized twang eminated from the private quarters of her shipmate, Elrood 'Gygas' Goroson. The four armed Besalisk was as usual listening to one of his people's less than appreciated music genres: Blorthgrass, which could be best described as a rustic combination of heavy percussion, country strings, and vuvuzelas.

Elsewhere on the ship, at her own decked out comm setup, was Zin Mossel, a clawdite slicer by trade, who dabbled in an extrawebcam business and was an on again off again fraudulent runner of a space hook up service. The three spacefarers were in desperate need of a job, and business had been thin lately.

Tulip, a Mandalorian human skip tracer, was hoping to change all that with a nice easy bounty hunting job. They were on the edge of Hutt space right now, and for the moment didn't have any trouble breathing down their necks. They were free to choose their next mission.

"Hrmm. No. No way were getting messed up with THOSE guys. Hrm... oh this might be... ugh, Jabba? That slurmo creeps me out. Pass... hrmm..."

By the way Tulip was muttering, it was clear that her chipper hope for a nice easy bounty job was not presenting itself. Zin, meanwhile, was drinking some space booze and writing some new slicing code when a secure comm message appeared on her screen.

The message read:

Zin! Answer this right now! If you don't, I'm going to make your life extremely difficult. Holo connection JU9-889O. This is Yolee. PS: You are such a bitch!

The clawdite pondered this. The name didn't strike her as all that familiar, but the post script was a telltale sign that this was probably one of those women she'd wronged so many times.

[Obligation triggered: Philanderer]
 

GargantuaBlarg

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Sep 23, 2009
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#2
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Zin was sitting at her workbench with just a bottle of some weird blue stuff, which she was mixing with some cheap carbonated something. She was alone right now, so the alcohol was more to get a nice buzz going, at most.

One thing she missed about home was how she could work in her room with her clothes off. That wasn't really a good idea on the Down N' Out - she needed to be ready to get up and run to fix just about everything, after all, and having to choose between taking a minute to tug on pants or having to weld a panel shut while it shot sparks all over her chest was really a lose/lose situation. Her jacket was hanging on her chair's back, and her gloves were in her pocket, but otherwise she was fully dressed - trousers (a bit loose, but held up by a belt), boots, and a white tank top, all worn, but sturdy. The tanktop felt a little tight... but she liked it like that, feeling the cloth against her skin and seeing the little indents it made in her voluptuous form.

It wasn't her original, of course. She took the form of a short, very curvy human gal, with shiny black hair that ran halfway down her back and big blue eyes. She liked this body, though. She used it all the time... and she'd worked very hard to sculpt it, with bits and pieces taken from allll of her favorite actresses. And/or maybe some cute actors too.

She never talked about it openly... but she had woken up as a different person after a couple benders, so she wasn't sure if her crewmates knew... or if, and who of, the people she apparently fucked over during these benders knew either.

And wouldn't you know it, when you speak of the devil...

"Shit. Time to change comm addresses," she muttered to herself. She took a bracing swig of weird blue stuff, and then hit the comm to punch in the address Yolee had given her. Putting on her brightest smile, Zin clapped her hands together and cheerfully greeted her caller.

"Yolee! Hiiiiii! It's so good to hear from you again ahahaha how did you get this number~!"
 

BlueSlime

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Aug 12, 2010
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#3
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

The holovid flickered to life and a ghostly blue hologram of a human with a punkish style haircut, a pierced nose and a tight fitting, urbanite-grunge outfit. Memory started to come back to Zin. She was on a job for Tapestry, finding out the location of an arms deal on Formos space station and had to get in close with an infochant who knew a bunch about local spacer gangs. Zin remembered drinking a bunch with this punk cutie, with the intention of pumping her for information. Maybe she had pumped a bit too roughly...

"I've got this number because knowing things is what I do. Or at least what I USED to do, until you accessed and declassified my private files! All while stringing me along with your... your..."

The punk girl stammered and suddenly looked a bit flustered.

"Your lies about romance and all that. Just because you're good in the sack doesn't give you the right to upend my lifestyle!"

The hologram pointed angrily in Zin's direction.

"You've cost me 10,000 credits minimum in damages. Minimum! You'e either going to come good on what you owe, or I swear, I'll pull in what favors I got with the space gangers to track you down. Don't think I can't do it!"
 

GargantuaBlarg

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Sep 23, 2009
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Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

"You thought I was good in the sack?" Zin said, looking away as she cupped her face in her hands, willing her cheeks to redden juuust a bit. "Ah... I never wanted to hurt you, Yolee! Things just sort of... happened, and then they all spiraled out of control, and..."

"A-ah, anyway, I'm sorry Yolee. I'll definitely make it up to you! Promise! Just, um, calm down, okay? If those gangers take me out, you won't get anything out of me, y-you know? A-and once everything's all taken care of, maybe we can have another drink and bury the vibro-hatchet. Put all of this behind us!"

The busty slicer grabbed her wrists and wrung them, smiling nervously at Yolee's holo as she surreptitiously squeezed her arms against her chest, letting her springy flesh depress under them.

"Ahah... actually, why don't we talk about how I can pay you back, huh? Is there something in mind you have for a girl like me? Something that would let me make some of that money you're owed...?"
 

BlueSlime

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Aug 12, 2010
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#5
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Spoiler


"I... well... yes... but... Don't change the subject!" Yolee held up her finger and wagged it through the hologram projector.

"Look! I get it! You were doing a job. You were getting paid to fuck me over. But that would have been one thing. The fact that you got drunk, wormed your way into my trust - made me open myself up to you in ways... in ways you know very well I haven't opened myself up before. And then you straight up raid my files and leave without so much as a note. And you took my last Klatoonian Lagers too, like a right kick in the pants!"

The spunky punky girl seemed to simmer, her holo-face glancing Zin up and down, biting her lip, considering the offer.

Spoiler
 

GargantuaBlarg

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Sep 23, 2009
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#6
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Zin wasn't sure whether the fact she couldn't actually remember anything from her... apparently enjoyable night out with Yolee would make it better or worse if she told her. Would she take it as 'all the deep intimate things you told me that night I super just forgot!' or 'whatever important things you told me that night are still only known to you!'? Hmmm.

Prrooobably the former. Yolee seemed to remember the night - if not her - fondly. Plus, a secretive information broker AND a tough punk girl? That was like, a double helping of lonely. She even said it herself - 'haven't opened herself up before', right? Telling her she couldn't remember any of her favorite things to do in bed would probably make it harder to get into her pants again, either, so there was that.

"I'm sorryyy... I'll bring you a pack of something good the next time we see each other to make up for it, how 'bout that~?" Zin fluttered her eyelids prettily.

"Anyway... you know what I can do, since you've been on the receiving end of it, Yolee. Surely you can think of someone else you'd like for me to get to know... a rival, maybe, or someone with some valuable info you've been itching to get your hands on? I doubt anyone will think it was you - why would you hire the gal that just pulled one over on you, after all~? Though to keep it looking that way the data handoff would have to be somewhere... private~"

Zin pressed her tits together surreptitiously with her arms as she shrugged and smiled.
 

BlueSlime

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Aug 12, 2010
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#7
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Yolee's face in the hologram scrunched up, her lips tightening and her hand raising to stroke her chin in thought as she considered what Zin had to say. For a time, she seemed inscrutable, but at the last she let her hand down to her side and sighed.

"Fine. I DO have a mission of sorts that could recoup what you cost me. I need an in to the Zann Consortium. They're the new big player in the Galactic Underworld and a lot of other syndicates want to see them put in their place. If we could dig up some dirt on one of their major operatives, it might mean that I can leverage them."

She crossed her arms.

"I've been tracking you through the bounty jobs your crew has been running. That also means that I've been following the bounty notices. The Zann Consortium is offering a bounty mission at Saleucami. I want you to take that mission, and use it as an opportunity to dig into the Consortium's finances and assets. I'm sure you'd not mind getting close to one of their underbosses. When you get the information, you can signal a contact at the location I'm sending through now. They'll get in contact with me and we can meet up again, and... you can show me how sorry you really are."

Yolee bit her lip in a slightly giddy grin, before her finger raised in a warning.

"Don't try to back out on this, or I will find you."

After any reply was made, the hologram fizzled out. A message with coordinates was received, showing a small exploration gear shop situated in the capital city of Taleucema.

Pulling up the bounty list on her own computer was a simple matter, and Zin was able to narrow down the search parameters to find the posted bounty that Yolee had referred to.

// Hunter of masked prey required. Lucrative contract for individuals and groups of sufficient skill and reputation. IPKC optional. Provide contact information and qualifications to HN4-768A via secure comm. //

A valid Imperial Peace-Keeping Certificate (IPKC) is a necessity for legal bounties within the Empire. Tulip has one which includes the right to hire consultant professionals like Zin and Elrood. The fact that this posting said it was optional meant that this was a personal or extrajudicial hire. It would mean that other bounty hunters could be working on the same contract.

Tulip was busy thumbing through the large bounty list over at the cockpit, generally unaware of the conversation that Zin had just had.
 

GargantuaBlarg

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Sep 23, 2009
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#8
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Zin pouted when Yolee cut off before she could even try to tempt her further. Half out of spite, the slicer yanked down her tank top, flashing her tits at the empty holoscreen as she stuck out her tongue.

She covered back up, and then went to get the other two. She slammed her fist against Gygas' door to get his attention through the blorthgrass that was audible even through the bulkhead seal of his room, and then hauled him over to Tulip's.

"Ahahaa Tulip heyyy remember that Klaatonian Lager I settled up last week's pazaak debt with? Well, I just remembered where I got them from! Also, what that sticky stuff was."

----

"So, that's what just happened!" Zin exclaimed, having just recounted to the two how an infochant she had totally screwed over at one point during a bout of inebriation had just threatened to pile gangers on them unless she paid them back, and how she had totally flipped that into getting them a job, which was definitely totally super not an awful idea.


"Apart from not having gangers gunning for the Down N' Out, we should take the bounty and get Yolee this info she wants because if we pull it off, we'll have an in with an infochant! That'd be super helpful, right boss?" she said, looking at Tulip. "These Zann guys are new and on the rise, so that means they're doing well, so they ought to pay okay, right? And if worse comes to worse... well, they're gangers with too much money to spend, so they're bound to have some interesting guns to take if we get into a shootout, right Gyg?"

She'd have to do some cursory searches on the Zann and Saleucami once the meeting was over, to see what the Consortium actually conducted their operations like - if they had any favoritism towards certain kinds of crimes or whatnot. As for Saleucami, she'd need to know what sort of goods were available there and how developed it was - whether it was a hive of scum and villainy, someplace's capital all changed how much they needed to worry over the Zann and the authorities both.
 

BlueSlime

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Aug 12, 2010
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#9
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

"Eh, ye wot?"

The blorthgrass music cut off suddenly as Zin's slamming fist reverberated through the bulkhead. The sound of a massive shift of weight caused the bunk within it to groan. There was a clomping of footsteps, and then Elrood 'Gygas' Goroson opened his door, wearing a soiled sleeveless top, messy combat jeans with protective shinguards and kneepads bearing stickers of various blaster designer company logos, and a sexualized picture of his favorite kloo horn player, Zapa Reedoo.

"Aruu.. heya Zin. Whatcher up to? Eh?"

Gygas scratched under his armpits, all four of them, and lumbered casually after her as she went over to Tulip.

-----

"The Zann Consortium, eh?" Tulip pursed her lips and brought up the indicated bounty listing on her own console and looked it over.

"They're the new players on the galactic underworld scene. Real up and comers, taking on all the big players... the Black Sun, the Hutt Kajedics, the Tenloss Syndicate, and any number of others. I mean... having an info chant on our side is good and all, but these guys are dangerous."

Tulip tapped her lips. Gygas belched. Then Tulip shrugged and said, "But what else were we gonna do? Long as the pay is right. Let's give 'em a call!"

She tapped the comm frequency into the computer and the three mercenaries leaned in to see what, if anything, would pick up on the other line. They were not left waiting long, and the face of a blue-skinned, dark-haired, near humanoid Pantaran woman stared back at them.

"Mmm... blue titties...hehe" Gygas said entirely too loudly to himself. The woman was not dressed provocatively, but had a good figure. Her eyes glanced in Gygas' direction and narrowed immediately, before returning her gaze to Zin and Tulip. When she spoke, her voice was melodic and filled with confidence and authority.

"Greetings. I am Venlana. I speak on behalf of the Zann Consortium and am primary contact for all bounty hunters involved in this particular posting. We are currently experiencing ship losses, exceeding our expected projections. These challenges to our bottom line are due to increased pirate activity - or rather, one pirate in particular. We are interesting in contracting you and your crew as part of our program for loss prevention. If you are interested in accepting this job, I would like to meet with you in person on Saleucami, in the capital of Taleucema. Full details will be provided when you arrive, and I am authorized to offer you 500 credits each, in advance, simply for agreeing to meet with us. Do you agree to this?"

Venlana smiles, showing pearly white teeth that stand out against her blue skin and lips.

Gygas lets out a low whistle and folds both sets of arms. Tulip turns to Zin, knowing that the hired muscle behind her was already on board.

"Any questions for the nice blue lady before I say yes, Zin?" Tulip asked.
 

GargantuaBlarg

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Sep 23, 2009
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#10
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Zin whapped Gygas upside the head when he so loudly ogled their new Pantoran employer. "Behave," she warned.

Not that she was above ogling her little hologram herself - Pantorans were basically just humans but blue, anyway... and it was a lot harder for a hologram to look like it was creepily eyeing you up, so it was way easier to get away with! But even if she were checking out the woman too, Zin at least had the presence of mind not to mutter anything untoward. After all, it helped get them in the sack later.

She was dressed all professionally... even if they were some big players, Zin had still kinda expected their liaison to be some tough ganger girl in leathers or something.

The slicer clapped her hands together. "Well... if you're paying just to meet, does that mean we should expect trouble on our way to Saleucami, Miss Venlana? If it's just one pirate in particular, it would be good to know who's going to mess with us on the way, too..."
 

BlueSlime

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Aug 12, 2010
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#11
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Gygas grunt-spluttered in slight indignation at being smacked but held is ire in check, as he would never really lay a hand on Zin, being that they went way back. Plus, on some level, he probably realized that he had been too loud and that saying such things to the wrong person could be bad.

The Pantaran woman appraised Zin and then nodded.

"These are uncertain times, and we all ply a dangerous trade, but I don't believe you would be at any greater risk coming to Saleucami than you would be if you did not take the job offer. The credits will be transferred once you meet with me. When you land at the capital, I will contact you again with a meeting place. I cannot say anything more without speaking to you in person, other than that this contract is quite lucrative. The Zann Consortium is *never* stingy when protecting its own interests."

Venlana continued to smile thinly and motioned off to the side of the hologram. A small bit of data flashed across Tulip's console monitor.

"Entering this comm channel into any docking port communications panel will signal to us that you are interested in meeting and we will contact you back with directions. At that point, we can discuss the real details of the job. At the moment, however, I am a busy woman and there are many matters that I should be attending to. I look forward to seeing you each in person."

Unless there was any strong objection, the hologram version of the blue woman winked out, leaving Tulip to swirl around in her chair and chat to Zin.

"To be certain, the Zann Consortium have thugs aplenty, but they're serious about being real players. The higher ups comport themselves as a corporation - this Venlana must be some sort of underboss. I'll check my records, see what I can come up with on her while we head to Saleucami. Sounds like if we play this right, we could end up making good on that infochant's vendetta for you AND get an in with the Consortium. Not bad at all, so long as don't fuck anything up."

She glanced over to Gygas.

"What? Why're yer lookin at me for, when yas say that?" The Besalisk shook one of his four fists.

"Well, it's either you offend someone or Zin sleeps around with someone and then offends them too. Let's try not to piss off our employers."
 

GargantuaBlarg

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Sep 23, 2009
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#12
Re: On the Down and Out: A Star Wars Derpery

Zin mocked a look of shock. "Gasp!" she said, actually saying the word out loud. "I'll have you know that most of the people I sleep with remember me fondly, Cap'n!"

The shapeshifter gave a little self-satisfied smile before continuing, a bit more serious. "...Anyway, I suppose we should keep in mind that they haven't just done this job themselves. Maybe it's for a harmless reason like the target doesn't let their ships get close enough to do anything, but I think it's probably more because it's way dangerous or something. We should be wary for any complications, I think."


Out in the hall, Zin shook her finger at Gygas. "I told you Gyg, if you don't keep those thoughts inside your head, you're never gonna get to let 'lil Gyg' out of your trousers. I dunno if you'll score with her, since she's a big boss lady or something, but maybe they've got some chicks you could try with instead later, maybe?"

Zin coached Gygas in the fine art of getting laid. Sex was great, after all, so why wouldn't she help him at it? She hadn't reeeally been successful so far, though... she'd found that seduction came a lot easier when you were a busty lady who liked flirting and getting drunk, and the techniques she used were a bit less effective if you were a huge bird who liked guns and... blorthgrass.