Starbound Logs

[Mamono Assault Force]

Below will be procedurally created logs documenting the adventures of RJ and his companions.
Log 1

Spoiler

Taki's Fish Log, Stardate 92387928: "Our adventures began as a desperate struggle to feed RJ, who'd gone without meat for five minutes before we arrived. He began to grow hysterical and proceeded to gnaw upon the human leg flesh of Glenn, the male human. Thankfully, a passing alien with a fat pink body, four eyes, and three ears came by and slammed his massive torso against RJ's starving body, killing him instantly and ending his suffering."

Log 2

Spoiler

RJ's Log, Stardate [I forgot after dying]: "I've been regenerated inside my ship thanks to the handy cloning technology that is able to recall my state of mind five seconds before my death and rejuvenate my body back to a healthy state. Which means I haven't forgotten how delicious Glenn's leg tasted while starving. It was delicious. I go back to the planet now to hopefully have better results."

Log 3

Spoiler

Glenn's Log: "The bitch with the white hair tried to eat me."

 

[Mamono Assault Force]

Re: Starbound Logs

Log 4 (Mind Flayer)

Spoiler

Elise's Log: "Reports came to a local bar of a group having troubles with survival and cannibalism, so I departed to do what I do best: which is save the day, and fuck every human and alien babe on the planet. I established communication after some travel, and I beamed down to the planet to lend them my aid. Unfortunately, their directions were awful. Their description even of the planet itself was off! Honestly, how could they not know the very planet they were on?"

Log 5

Spoiler

RJ: "It's so hard to find good help these days. I sent a distress signal out to possibly acquire aid from any nearby presence, and what I got gave me hope. A mercenary named Elise replied and said she was on our way, and then she ended up on another planet. We all tried to convince her she was on the wrong planet, but she was positive she didn't make a mistake. She did end up showing up in the end. Despite the initial difficulties, it will be good to have the extra hands."

Log 6

Spoiler

Glenn: "I made RJ a hamburger. Turns out you can grow wheat on this planet! I've started my own farm, although RJ doesn't understand. He says it's pointless because we'll have to leave it behind... I'll show him. I'll make the best burgers in the galaxy!"

Log 7

Spoiler

Taki's Fish Log: "We're quite lucky to have this planet be our isolation from the rest of space until we can fashion out a more powerful distress beacon. While RJ and the rest fend off the monsters of the land, I was able to acquire valuable materials to create a reliable bow. The carapaces of these beasts are tough, but I can now reliably slay them with a single arrow now. I've gifted my findings to the others. RJ made himself a sledgehammer, and Elise a spear (though on that note, I wonder why she didn't come to our rescue equipped to actually save us?)"

 

[Mamono Assault Force]

Re: Starbound Logs

Log 8

Spoiler

Glenn's Log: While Captain Shiva(RJ) was asleep, Elise and Taki departed to their ships for some personal time, and went to explore other planets. So, it was just us. We have weapons, but not protection, so I set out to acquire some materials to forge some primitive armor. While attempting to do so, I was murdered repeatedly by the wildlife, and gravity. I feel I should look down more often.

Thankfully, Shiva was soon to wake, and she understood my predicament. She slaughtered all of the planet's lifeforms and mined it to the point of it being unstable and prone to volcanic collapse. She went one step further and made me my armor... Modeled after her own. I find difficulty in wearing such tight pants.

Log 9

Spoiler

Shiva's Log: "While Taki and Elise have decided to loaf off, I took up arming my engineer Glenn so that he'll die less often. The increased quality of his armor has reduced his frequency of death by 10%. You have to look at the bright side of things. Anyway, after tearing our last planet to bits, and making emergency evacuations to a nearby planet, I've crafted an emergency distress beacon. My plan is to call for aid, and murder whoever comes and take all their ship's parts, as well as their cash money.

I have no idea how to make such a thing, so I'll have to kick Glenn until he agrees to do it. He responds well to abuse... I think he enjoys it. I admit, I enjoy it too."

Log 10

Spoiler

Glenn's Log: "Shiva is a terrible person, I've come to find. She always hits me, yells at me, and degrades me for my gender... Yet I cannot overlook how attractive she is. I'll endure her abuse with a smile... I wonder if she'll put me in a headlock again today? Her breasts feel... So good...

Anyway... Shiva gave me materials to make a distress beacon, and told me that we're to kill whoever comes... I don't agree with that, but maybe it'll work out somehow."

Log 11

Spoiler

Shiva's Fucking Log: "Okay, I've seen weird things in space. I have. I really have. But after we activated that distress beacon... Penguins. I kid you not. Penguins showed up, and they came in a flying saucer. Armed with lasers. It swooped down and opened fire upon us immediately. Glenn died before I even realized it, and the penguin army was upon us. Just perfect timing for those two other sluts to fuck off to some other planet! But I didn't despair. I dug through the underground like the ancient Vietnamese, and fought the penguins with gorilla warfare. I destroyed their commandos and their rifles, I outwitted the bazooka troops, and destroyed their tanks before I slammed my sledgehammer into their UFO-wannabe, destroying it instantly as it's parts flew across the land, adding some metallic decorations to go with the field of Glenn's corpses. I guess he was trying to help. Didn't even notice him."

Log 12

Spoiler

Glenn's Log: "I don't even want to talk about what happened... It was all a bad dream, I'm sure... But is a nightmare I want to wake up from. Shiva entrusted me with the molten core from the enemy's ship... And... I-I lost it. I lost it...

She's going to kill me."

Log 13

Spoiler

Shiva's Log: "I'm going to kill him. Then I'm going to make him create another distress beacon."

 

[Mamono Assault Force]

Re: Starbound Logs

Log 14

Spoiler

Taki's Fish Log: "I've returned from my world of fish bowl after coming into contact with a species of small birds that the humans refer to as penguins. I've come to Shiva and Glenn to tell them of my encounter only to find that they too have met with this foe. The possessed a molten core, and the male human Glenn seemed to know what to do with it as he employed it's use into Shiva's ship. With the added power, Shiva's ship is able to venture into the Beta sector... Which turned out to be a catastrophic mistake."

Log 15

Spoiler

Shiva's Log: We were all slaughtered immediately by terrifying lifeforms that seem common in the Beta sector. We all returned as clones to ponder the results of our misfortune. The others had the idea to return to Alpha, but I was not about to leave Beta without any form of victory. I went to a nearby ice planet while the others returned to Alpha, and erected a giant statue of myself to show that I left this place not without honor.

Log 16

Spoiler

Glenn's Log: I've been very worried about Shiva lately... She kind of went crazy and ventured alone to an ice planet to try and make something of the trip to Beta... At least she stopped screaming and laughing when we got back to Alpha.