An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

"Ah, apologies," said the bartender in response to Tessa's statement regarding her marital status. He left it at that, seemingly content to move on quickly so as to avoid himself any further embarrassment with his assumptions.

"Quite righteous, you seem to be, but there's only so much you can do up to a certain point. Without getting in trouble, that is," he would then advise after the troublesome group had left. "I had barely dipped my feet in such business and these arseholes came barging in and poking their swords around. You saw it yourself! If this is the way that Trinaldo conducts business, I'd say our town is better off without him. Though sadly, it's hard to say that he'd be the only one that needs some time in exile..."

The waitress gave a thoughtful look in response to the redhead's query. "Yes, that's really kind of you and all, considering that those two aren't the only such case around. If I remember it right, Trinaldo has some kind of office building on the north side of town... I think it's painted green, or something? Looks really nice. I heard he also converted some of those old, unused towers into private spaces for himself. But either way, if you have money to spare, I'd say keep it instead--or don't let those men know you've any to begin with. Maybe just give it to the woman if you're really that charitable, because part of me feels that he's not the kind to leave people well enough alone. You know the type, right?"

Seemingly sick of the rather downbeat mood, she then shifted her tone into a somewhat lighter one. "Or, if you're that loaded, you could always visit us more often. We'd gladly make you some proper meals!" added the beauty with a polite smile.

It was hard to tell if anyone else had overheard her, but given the way the others murmured to themselves with their heads down, it seemed unlikely. The woman had confirmed Tessa's suspicions--that those towers were somehow connected to Cael's father and his creditor. In addition, Trinaldo also seemed to own a separate office, a building painted in green. Most buildings in Cerawal were painted either white or kept the natural color of their building materials, so it would stand out for sure--at least, in the daylight. Whether she cared to brave that part of town in the dark of night, however, was up to her.

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

"Yes, I know his type well.... Would that Erion had granted me more sense," Tessa mused with a wry smile after both warned her against her intended course of action, "but He did not." Of course, as far as the nun was concerned it was His hand that had guided her into the issue in the first place and was guiding her even then to try to offer aid in whatever way she could, but she didn't find it necessary to announce that. "Still, I thank you both, not only for the information but for your words of warning and your concern. I think I will take you up on that offer as well though," she regarded the tavern maid. "I've certainly enjoyed these last few meals, eventful as they've been." And beyond the promise of nightly meals, she imagined that it would be wise to keep an eye on Ayna's last known place of residence to see how close the mercenaries were getting to her new one.

For the time being, however, she intended on retiring to her church. The redhead hadn't yet managed to exhaust herself enough to sleep without aid, but burning through a small amount of her ballweed stock was a luxury she could afford that night. The alternative of scouting out Trinaldo's holdings in the dark didn't appeal to her nearly as much as her pipe and her bed. She'd much rather get a picture of the buildings in the day before seeking them in the night, and beyond that she now had an obligation to tell Ayna exactly who was after her and her son and probably the why as well. The nun might also yet think of some way to tempt Trinaldo in releasing Ayna's husband before needing to go in blindly, if she were lucky.

So she finished her wine and bid her conversational partners an honest farewell. "I think for tonight I'm simply going to retire to my bed. I imagine I'll return tomorrow. Erion be with you both." With that, Tessa would raise from her seat, taking a brief few moments to stretch out her legs after her prolonged time on the stool and accept whatever goodbyes the bartender and maid might offer. Once her business was completed, the nun would exit the tavern and begin stalking the path back to her church, deep in thought about what steps to take next.

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

The waitress responded with a slightly embarrassed giggle. "Eventful, that they have been... though I wish we could have only made a better impression for our newer customers like yourself. It's really not usually this bad. It must be the second or third time you've heard it from us by now, but it's the truth!"

Afterwards, the barkeep would also give Tessa a word of farewell. "I'm still agitated that I allowed them to do as much in here in the first place... but it won't happen again." He briefly exchanged looks with his staff member, who tried her best to stifle a frown at the implication. The owner was a burly man, not often the type to be crossed by any single individual, and it was apparent that he was hardly used to taking such offenses laying down. "Have a good night, then."

Both of them showed a fair amount of concern for the relatively frail redhead, but it wasn't without reason. Traveling at night in Cerawal was often done by small groups or couples, at least for the folk that were considered honest. Those who went alone were more often than not considered the lower rung of Elynsorian society; beggars, muggers, prostitutes and dealers. Some went alone out of necessity, but it would be a mistake to say that this city was one of the safest in the kingdom.

As she stepped out of the bar, Tessa wouldn't have to travel much further than a single block to notice the shadow of a man emerging from an alley. It did so just in time with her arrival, perhaps to intercept her. But when the stranger's visage was revealed in the dim moonlight, it wasn't that of a well-dressed dealer, nor a scowling mugger. It was an older, bearded and hunchbacked man... homeless from the looks of the tattered, dirty rags that somehow qualified as his clothes. He pushed forward not a weapon, but an open, cupped hand.

"Can you... spare some alms, miss?" asked the stranger. "Anything will do."

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

When the homeless man first emerged from the alleyway without warning, Tessa had readied herself not to fight but to flee all the way back to her church. The man's dirtied and unkempt visage didn't dissuade her much from her brain's desire to run away from him, but his words and actions were enough to quell her concerns and allow her to think clearly without the worry of an impending ambush. But once Tessa had processed that the man was a beggar and that she, indeed, had coins she could spare, no further great deal of thought or consideration was necessary.

She pulled three coins from her pouch and pressed them into his hands. "This much will get you a rack of ribs at the tavern back that way," she pointed in the direction of the building she had just departed from. She was set to let him go at that to find what momentary comfort that a full belly would offer him, assuming he didn't spend it on another vice at least, but then an extra thought crossed her mind. The redhead could offer him a little bit more than that, at least, in granting him the same offer of asylum that she had given Ayna.

"Are you familiar with the chapel of Erion?" She would ask the man and then give him directions if he wasn't. "When you are ready to rest your head for the night, go there. I will leave the front doors unlocked for you and you may sleep on one of the pews. I admit that it might not be the most comfortable of accommodations, but surely it's safer than sleeping in these streets at night."

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

The beggar couldn't see the jumble of thoughts that initially went through Tessa's mind regarding him and his appearance. What he did see, however, was her first course of action, which was to kindly press three coins into his hands. Not only that, she would extend the offer for shelter at a nearby chapel... one that he may not have known of before, but that he certainly would know of now. It brought a look of surprise to the beggar's travel-worn visage, proving to be a truly surprising response on the nun's end. How many people had sent him away up until that point? It was hard to tell, but all that mattered to him was that this mysterious red-haired woman had not. The homeless man began to choke up a little. He gave her a flat look, holding his hands around hers as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Thank you. Oh, thank you," pronounced the beggar, clasping her hand tightly and embracing the cleric. He reeked of sweat, alcohol, filth and everything that one might expect someone living on the streets of Cerawal to have accumulated over an unknown amount of time. But if nothing else, his gratitude was sincere. "You're too kind... no one has ever done this for me," he would then admit as the tears began to flow.

After he managed to compose himself again for the most part, he would listen intently as Tessa gave him a detailed set of directions to her chapel--not that it was terribly difficult to find--and then look back at her a few times as he plodded off in the direction of the pub she recommended to him. Perhaps he would buy a plate of ribs, and a glass of wine... or maybe less of the former in favor of the latter. Either way, he was due to find some degree of momentary comfort that night.

When Tessa returned to the chapel she called home, it was still and quiet. Ayna and Cael were presumably asleep, as the door to their makeshift room was shut, leaving Tessa to her own devices.

She would get a little less than an hour of time alone to herself before she heard a rather jarring pounding noise upon the front doors--even though they were unlocked by her own doing. It would certainly be enough to rouse the other two guests that Tessa had, if it continued on like this...

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

"It should be the privilege of those of us with extra to provide for those of us who want," Tessa would offer in an attempt to be reassuring in response to the man as he began to break down and admitted that nobody had ever given him as much before. She would follow then by giving him the directions to the chapel and bidding him a simple farewell. "I will see you there. Be safe on the road." With that, she offered the homeless man a simple nod and allowed him to be on his way to pursue food or any other vice he might have had in mind that night.

The redhead herself would crisply resume her trek to the church once he had departed. The act of charity had felt good and she was glad to have offered a man with nothing something, even if it was just a meal and shelter from the dangers of Cerawal nights, but it was only a momentary respite from her concerns. In a way, it served to remind her of just how small her own ability to offer meaningful assistance to the downtrodden really was. She could offer a coin here and there, the church's roof, and counsel them in their times of need, but it simply wasn't enough. For every one man, woman, or child that she offered the bare essentials necessary for them to stay alive for one more day, men like Trinaldo easily destroyed the lives of ten more and did so with much less effort required. It was hard not to feel the tinges of hopelessness in general when confronted by those thoughts.

It all followed her in through the door of her church. Tessa was sure she could feel the lack of hope in the air around her as she made her way into the main hall, it walked with her between the pews, it seemed to push against her and make the task twice as hard as she moved to unbar the double doors, and it stayed with her as surely as her shadow did as she retreated back into her office-slash-bedroom and collapsed into the chair with an exhaustion not born of physical wear and tear but rather mental fatigue. Erion, how far in over her head was she in the cause she had so rashly taken up? How could she fight not only the greed of men who had already gorged themselves with enough coin to buy an army, but a general sense of apathy from the populace of Cerawal at large about what it was to be in need. It would have been so much easier to simply remain in her church and keep herself focused on her already overpopulated day to day responsibilities.

And oh how her lockbox, containing her pipe and her supply of ballweed, called out to her then. It called out to her as Tzern called out to the heroes of the books of Erion, tempting them to abandon righteousness and duty and turn themselves to the sole pursuit of indulgence away from His light. Right then it felt like reaching for the box would be tantamount to her admitting that it was okay for her to give up and let come what may, and, though she longed for the comfort of her self-prescribed medicine, the unintentional parallel caused her to mentally lash out at the idea. She would not surrender again, not then and not like that.

But though she very much wished she was, Tessa wasn't strong enough to sit and wrestle with such grim thoughts in the same room as her pipe without eventually succumbing to the temptation. The redhead quickly decided to remove herself entirely from it, picking herself up from her chair and, with one last longing gaze at the lockbox, leaving the room entirely in order to return to the main hall and settle onto the pew nearest to the pulpit. The change of scenery at least allowed her to subvert the subjects of her thoughts. Instead of her pipe and the hopelessness of her efforts, the nun found herself wondering just how many thousands of clerics of Erion had come before her own entrance into the faith and struggled with issues either similar or worse. What she wouldn't have given to speak with a priest or a fellow nun about her crisis of strength right then.

With no ability to truly mentally reassure herself on the subject though, Tessa would end up thankful for the distraction once she had gotten over her surprise over the first few knocks against the door. In truth, she was a little nervous when she first went to answer the knocking. Allowing a strange man off the street to stay in what was basically her home was certainly not a traditionally wise move, especially in a city like Cerawal. Still though, he had knocked instead of simply barging in, and she hadn't hung up her sword yet anyway, so she did not delay long in cautiously opening one of the double doors for her visitor.

"I'm glad to see you made it safely," she would greet the man before opening the door fully and ushering him inside if it was truly the one she had spoken to earlier. "Come in. As I said earlier, you're welcome to sleep wherever you like. It's not much but I hope that you can find someplace in here that's comfortable enough to suit you." She would close the door once he was inside but wouldn't bother barring it again just yet. "But if you're not too tired, would you mind talking for a little bit? I am unable to sleep and would appreciate a simple conversation."

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

Tessa's current guests would be far too deep in slumber to realize the full extent to which the nun had struggled with her vices that night. In the dark of her room, staring at the lockbox as if it were a live being capable of holding a conversation with her, she fought a silent battle--one that she had ultimately (and perhaps miraculously) won in a sense, keeping herself from giving in to the siren song of the pipe with a well-timed escape from the chamber in which she had so often lit up.

This left her to find temporary reprieve in the main hall of worship, where she would be alone with her thoughts. There was little work that could be done at this time of night, and even fewer potential visitors, outside of the one that she had invited. Denied was Tessa of the temporary pleasure that a hit or two of ballweed might have brought, and yet she was the one who had inflicted such torture upon herself. The drug to which she often gave in was one of the few substances that could stave off nightmares or even waking terrors involving strange, cruel men using her to their benefit.

But the environment of the chapel itself seemed to understand Tessa, as Erion might. Though somewhat dimmer as it was lit by the moon and not by the sun at such an hour, the stained-glass image of Isthos and the Voidic demon, locked in a fierce melee, lay still before her. It was almost representative of the turmoil she felt inside. Fear, anger, confusion--all things typical of a real fight, grabbed hold of the nun from just a simple act of self-denial and discipline. Yet that discipline was, according to the story of Isthos, necessary for victory. To overcome the body's natural itches and desires was part of Erion's gospel. A tall order for any normal person, no doubt, but a noble pursuit, so it had always been said.

There were other images. One was of the Weary Travelers, in which Erion Himself, represented by an exceptionally large star, guided lost travelers through the night. The celestial bodies of the heavens above were said to be His signs, hence the holy and 'Cosmic' nature of things connected to Tessa's god. In that tale, the pilgrims had been left there by swindlers, and reached a natural point of frustration to where they began to bicker with one another. Locked in a heated argument, they made no progress towards any direction, until one of the wanderers looked to the sky, where Erion's symbolic star appeared to show them the way. It was a lesson that when things are darkest, turn not on each other, but towards Him for guidance.

Tessa's quiet musings, somewhat fruitless in bringing her true peace of mind, would be interrupted by the appearance of the homeless man who had approached her earlier. "Ello. You said to come here?" Despite having the same dirty clothes and appearance, he looked slightly more animated than from when she first laid eyes upon him. He had good reason to, with a full stomach and a place to sleep for the night. But even his relieved, satisfied look would shift to one of what Tessa knew to be genuine and wholehearted gratitude when she asked him to chat for a while. It seemed that the cleric of Erion wasn't the only one with something to talk about.

"And now you actually want to talk? To me? I never thought somebody would ever bother to ask me ever again," said the man, struggling to keep his tone casual, though his voice nearly cracked at several points. "But ever since you gave me those coins and sent me here, I... I knew you were something special. I would be lucky to get just one coin, let alone three, especially in a town like this. Everyone's watching out for themselves, and maybe it'd be wrong of me to blame them."

He took a seat next to Tessa on the pew. The stranger reeked a little of alcohol and body odor, though it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, given his appearance. It wasn't as if he rolled in filth or anything of the sort; the grime upon his skin and clothes was just the accumulation of natural dust that often blowed through Cerawal, which was located in a naturally arid part of southern Elynsor. On some days, Tessa would return to the chapel after errands to find herself covered in dirt from the winds. The difference was, she could actually afford to take a shower from time to time, whereas this man clearly couldn't.

"You know, I was even going to buy some ballweed with that coin. It wouldn't have been much, but it'd still be enough to get a nice high for a little while. Not that I expect a nun like yourself to understand those sorts of vices. But when you told me to get food, for some reason I felt that I'd be betraying an angel like yourself if I did anything else, so... so I went. They didn't seem to like me much there, but I stuck with it and ordered, thinking about only the food. And boy, though the service wasn't great, the meal sure was! Haha... and no complaints about the wine, either. That's something you clerics can have, right?"

He went on. "But... yeah, that's my accomplishment for the day. Went in a tavern while it was full and got food--and ran into you, 'course. Most of the time it's scrounging through trash or taking people's half-eaten leftovers. Doesn't sound like much of a win, for you folk maybe. But when you're treated badly by one half of the town and are just about invisible to the other half, you take what you can get," he explained. "Speaking of which, I... sorry. A-About the smell," the man then added, making a motion as if to sniff himself. "Before everything went downhill, I bathed almost every day. Can you believe it? Funny how fast some things can change..." he trailed off thoughtfully. The unnamed stranger had rambled a bit. Perhaps hunger and homelessness were not his greatest enemies, but rather loneliness and the feeling of being unloved, uncared for.

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

The homeless man might not have known it, but Tessa was as glad for his tale as he was for her willingness to hear it. People tended to assume, when they saw a man or woman of the cloth, that the person wearing it had everything together. They assumed that there was surely nobody so devoted to Erion who did not know their own path in life. They did not always realize that to one of His children was to struggle and to do so in many different ways, or that few men or women truly loved by Erion were able to follow the smooth path to the very end.

And certainly, Tessa knew very well what her homeless guest had suffered through. She knew what it was to be valued as less than a human and what it was to struggle with a vice, she had even been doing the latter just before he had arrived. She appreciated his story and his honesty all the more for her own experiences, and listened intently as the man shared his tale candidly with her, only offering a few nods to confirm his suppositions about the stance of the church on vices. She wouldn't speak until he had finally trailed off after admitting that he'd accumulated a smell, one which Tessa did her best to simply ignore--she'd been able to brave a barn or two in her lifetime, she could handle his odor. "A little smell is nothing to apologize for, brother. I fear there's not much water left in the chapel's well, but I'll gather a bucket and some soap for you tomorrow so that you can cleanse your body."

"As for the rest of your tale," she hummed. "It's an indicator of the city's unfortunate state of affairs that a man would be so judged by the weight of his gold rather than the weight of his heart. In this night with only three coins to your name you have been brave enough to directly face the scrutiny of others and strong enough to shrug away temptation, and surely these are both qualities that any reasonable person would find inspiring. I certainly do," she didn't lie. The homeless man's tale, while sad, was strengthening, in a way. She wanted to know more about who the man had been before he had been forced to survive in the streets, but wasn't sure how to phrase it. In the end, she decided to take a more roundabout approach to asking. "I know I'm being greedy about this, but would you tell me more about yourself? I do not often get a chance to simply talk with people anymore and I would very much enjoy it."

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

"That's ... too much. Too kind of you," said the man in response to Tessa's offer for a way to get him clean. "Hope you won't get angry but, I really don't know if I could ever repay you for all this. I haven't worked in years. Never really been the handy type. And if I had been worth my salt as a merchant, then I'm sure I wouldn't be here in the first place," he went on to admit. "At one point I thought that maybe this was all part of what I was destined to be. Those who have the talent make it, and those who don't, don't..." he started, only to be met with Tessa's compliments. Her continued kindness seemed to stun him for a moment. Her gift of an ear by which to listen was one that he looked to have trouble accepting, but also one that he simply could not afford to decline.

And yet his story was something that she actively sought! "Greedy? I'd say that might make you a glutton for punishment, if anything. Don't you clerics get enough confessors or whatever those people are? Last I checked, people have a hard enough time dealing with their own problems--and now you want to listen to mine! That nearly has me convinced that you are some sort of angel or deity looking to test me. I'm sure the troubles of my past are nothing that a little lady like you would care to bear--not first-hand, anyway. But since you asked... ah, hrrm. Where to start?"


After a pause to dig up some of his deep buried memories, he soon continued. "Oh, right... my name is Barrin, by the way. I was raised in a well-off family from Hinsdell. My father was a merchant as well, a good man. Very hard-working. Not the kind who just gets by, either--we had more than enough, thanks to his business connections. There were five of us; my father, mother, myself and two younger sisters. We had everything. Food, clothes, you name it. Perhaps not to the extent that lords do, but still, it was good. As the only male heir, I naturally inherited his wealth when he did pass, from illness. It was around the time of my uh, sixteenth birthday or so, when he left me. From then on, it wasn't easy, but I promised my mother and sisters that I'd take over in his stead, picking up from where he left off. Thing is, for as good a man as he was, he was very busy, and didn't have the time to teach me as much as he might have liked unless I followed him on his trips. But like an irresponsible child, I chose not to go, not to follow his trade, because I didn't need to. So I pursued the thing I loved most in art. I'm not sure that I was any good at it, either, since I never received any recognition for what I did make, but I sure enjoyed it."

His eyes wandered up towards the stained-glass windows, illuminated only by the dim moonlight. "As a result, I picked up his trading business without knowing as much as I should have. I knew the basics, and so I thought that would be enough to get us all by. But as it turned out, my father was a much stronger and more capable man than I had ever imagined. Many of his associates were also his competitors, and he had managed to keep them from running him into the ground by sheer force of will, with diplomatic words, and promises that were always delivered on. I, on the other hand... I had inherited no such abilities. I was forgetful and lacked a sense of timeliness. They say that sons take after their fathers--if that is true, then surely I was a failure as a son. I turned to the bottle and the pipe to give me some relief from the daily stresses of my losses. It's a bad combination, I'll tell you," he explained.

"There was so much money that I had simply lost, and lost, and lost. I had to take one last gamble, and so I journeyed south towards Grisalesca, as I had heard that Naralona was ripe with great business prospects and opportunities."

Barrin took a deep breath. "While there, I had been swindled for just about everything I owned. Like the naive fool I was, I trusted a complete stranger, a kind-looking one, who seemed professional enough, and sounded like he knew what he was talking about. Looking back on it, it's hard to believe that I was taken so easily. But I was desperate... and a little greedy. So my promised returns never came, and I wound up without even the money to return home. To make things worse, the addiction to ballweed and alcohol that I had picked up by that time was just so strong. And so I squandered what I had left on temporary highs. On the way back north, I made as far as... well, Cerawal, before I had sold the last of my accessories in exchange for another few ounces of ballweed and a bottle of wine. I told myself that I'd eventually find work here, for sure, but as it turns out, nobody wants to hire someone smelling of filth and reeking of cheap wine. I couldn't even afford to make a good first impression on anyone by that time!"

A melancholy look in his eyes, he sighed and shook his head. "And now, I've no clue what became of my mother and sisters. I hope that at least the latter found good men to marry somehow, so that my mother would be well taken care of... but there's no way for me to know anymore. Hinsdell is so much further up north, close to the capital. It wasn't their fault. Not theirs in the slightest. It was mine, and mine alone. So I thought, perhaps this is what I deserve. I had been such a foolish son, not half the man my father was, and it showed. Divine providence, or whatever you'd like to call it. Living off of scraps and trash, and whatever handouts people could afford to give me. I had been ridiculed by many that I approached... told that I should save the money that I do receive, and clean myself up to find a profession. But when you're addicted, that's all easier said than done. It was worth it to feel that high again, for one last time, knowing that I might not live to see the next week. Yet somehow, I didn't starve. I managed only barely. It's been several years--how many exactly, I lost count--and now here I am," he explained.

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

Tessa listened in silence to her guest's story as if it were the word of Erion Himself. As far as she was concerned, it was Erion speaking through the homeless man. Barrin's troubles were the ones faced by so many throughout the world, to a greater or lesser degree. While it was the world that they lived in, it couldn't have been the world that should have been. A man of some self-admitted incompetence was punished out of all of his coin and his family and his life entirely, but did that punishment truly fit the crime? Meanwhile, men like Trinaldo, certainly no better than the thieves who had swindled the man beside her, were allowed to continue on the basis that he did not force his poisoned gifts upon those who were unfortunate enough to partake of them.

For all intents and purposes, Barrin had presumably been considered a good enough man, or at least one who was considered by most as worth dealing with as a human being, right until he ran out of coin. Trinaldo committed sins against his fellow human being that might very well have claimed lives both directly and indirectly, but as long as he had coin he would be insulated against his deserved punishments. Why was the worth of a man measured in coin? The gifts that Erion had given the world, its resources, its water, and its shelter, all existed since He created them and would continue to exist regardless of whether money did or not. Why did a man without wealth deserve to starve to death or die of dehydration or succumb to the cold? It was surely not His vision.

Tessa wasn't bothered by the idea that Barrin could not pay her back, nor that he might never pay her back. She was more bothered by the idea that nothing she could currently offer him would be enough to get him back on his feet and away from the pained existence he was leading, and that as it stood she could do little more than to give him those paltry few coins, a place to sleep, the chance to be clean again, and listen to his story and his pain.

She couldn't help but be struck by the idea that there were surely many more just like him in the city of Cerawal alone, and probably thousands in the capital. It felt like a hopeless situation, but at the same time wasn't giving up on it the same as saying that it was okay? It certainly wasn't a problem that somebody could conquer by themselves, but if a large enough group would stand up and take the cause on their mantle then it could be tackled. For example, she might not have been more powerful than Trinaldo, but with a just another dozen or so people they might be able to see the banker's crooked schemes broken up. Who could she rally though? She was but one nun in the church of Elynsor.... The church that was one of the most powerful groups in the kingdom.... Perhaps she'd been thinking entirely the wrong way.

When her guest had concluded his tale in full, she offered him a weary smile and a gentle pat on the shoulder. "Thank you for sharing your tale with me. You might not think it but it does mean a lot to me," she attempted to reassure him without specifying that it meant a lot to her largely because it gave her a reason to press on, unsure of how he might take that. "Do not worry about repaying me, there is no debt at all between us. I wish I could offer you more. It's obvious that you've struggled greatly and endured much, even though you have committed no crimes to deserve what you've been put through. What little I've been able to offer you is a fraction of the kindness you deserve. I cannot offer you enough to get you back onto your feet, but know that you're always welcome to sleep and find sanctuary here and to my food and drink when I have some stored. The only thing I would ever ask in return is that you do your best to fight on, Barrin."

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

"Meant a lot to you? I can't help but find it all so strange, or perhaps just more evidence that you aren't from around here. Usually people say such things after allowing having someone listen to them, which I still haven't done for you--perhaps I'd be more inclined if I wasn't so convinced that you were some sort of flawless angel! But no, it means far more to me, believe me," replied Barrin, his voice going somewhat hoarse before he broke out into a few coughs.

"Kuh, kuh! Urrgh. S-Sorry, it seems my throat's gone a bit sore and dry. It's so nice to be able to use my voice again for something other than begging. For as much as I have done it all these years, it gets old repeating the same phrases, only ever knowing even the kindest of passerbys at a surface level. I remember what it was once like to have friends, family... people who cared if I lived or died. Thanks once again for listening long enough to give me a glimpse of that."

"Fighting..." he trailed off after hearing her request. "I'm not sure if you could call what I am doing 'fighting', but I guess it isn't giving up, either. For you, I'll consider it," joked the man, giving a hint of his more playful side as he cracked the hint of a smile. "And your offer is far too generous for me to refuse, I'm afraid... it's almost motivating enough to want to kick my old habits. I can't help but feel that perhaps I'll wake up later on, only to find that my dream of being offered such kindness has come to an end."

He cleared his throat again between short, stuttering coughs. "Akuh, huk... guess that's about as much talking as my body will let me do for tonight. Must be a sign that I should stop, hohoh."

If Tessa cared to say any more to him, she could, but otherwise it looked as though it would be time for Barrin to settle down for the night and find some sleep. He looked around at the pew he sat upon, then took off his dirty, tattered cloak--one that no doubt found a great deal of use as his personal blanket and companion.

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

Tessa's wasn't a story that she truly wanted to share. In all the years since she had escaped the hellish building she'd been captive in, she'd only recounted it once. Kenneth had been the last and only other person to hear her tale, and even then she had only told him snippets. She had quoted a few select lines that the cruel man who had been in charge of her training had used to break her will and she had attempted to explain the overall effect the experience had on her sanity, but in the end she wasn't sure if her former father-in-law had grasped any of it. Perhaps that's part of why it had been so easy to kill him, and why he meant little more to her after his death than any other speck of dirt in the lot behind her church.

She, of course, would say none of that to Barrin. Instead she simply smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder once more. "I hope you sleep well, brother. If you need anything, just knock loudly on the door," she offered simply and then rose to take her leave from the main hall. Tessa would re-bar all the doors before retiring, including the one that led to the hallway which contained the doors to both bedrooms, Ayna and Cael's and her own. Slavery had not left her without paranoia against the possibility of kidnappers or attackers in the night, even if she didn't mistrust Barrin himself

Of course, once she was back in her own room, that lockbox called out to her as strongly as if she'd never left. It whispered to her like an old friend, beckoning her to open it and remove its contents. Just a little smoke to take the night's stresses away and relax her. Normally she'd have gone to its arms willingly, even happily after such a difficult day, but in her current mood it was nothing short of an enemy. Barrin's own small burst of motivation had rubbed off on her and she removed her traveling cloak and disdainfully tossed it over the box in order to block the temptation from her view.

The nun wasn't sure that her burst of willpower would last forever, but for that night, at least, she was determined to sleep without the aid of ballweed. She would take off her sword and dagger and place them back in their homes and then practically throw herself into her bedding. What came next wasn't what she could necessarily call a clear victory, it was hard-fought and at many times she was on the very edge of surrendering and going crawling back to her lockbox for the comfort it could offer her. She battled that urge over nearly an hour of tossing and turning and fidgeting before sleep finally came to her in the form of blacking out from exhaustion rather than restfully dreaming. It was a victory though, and however small it might have been she would surely cherish it in the morning.

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

Barrin would only smile in return. "Auh, sure. You've already done more than any old beggar could ask for, though, so I will really try not to bother your rest unless it is an emergency." With that, he gave her the slightest hint of an odd look as she moved to bar the doors. Doing so wasn't an uncommon practice in Cerawal in the least; when night fell, doors were to be locked, as the city was prone to break-ins and other common forms of crime during such hours. Perhaps it had simply been so long since the beggar himself had last been in a shelter worth locking up to begin with, as he had no doubt spent most of his time in alleys, under crates and overhangs.

"... Though I guess that is unlikely, what with your good sense," he would add, settling down and laying on his side upon the pew. His makeshift bed was hard and wooden, but no complaints would arise from the man. After all, it was his most fulfilling night in a long while. Compared to the dirty streets of Cerawal, often filled with vermin, bugs and other such unpleasant inconveniences, the pew may as well have been a full-sized mattress. That, and the air inside the small chapel, while slightly stale, was far warmer than the unforgiving chilling draft that southern Elynsor's desert nights were known for.

With that, the homeless--or temporary homed--one would find sleep rather easily, leaving Tessa to hopefully replicate such a task in the comfort of her own room. The lockbox in which her pipe and the cure to her nightly woes sat in seemed to return her gaze, tempting her with its silent siren song. But the nun's spirit, boosted in fortitude from the heart to heart conversation with Barrin, was such that she could actually refuse the call of the drug this time around. The box's hypnotic presence was suddenly masked with Tessa's cloak, and she hit the sheets.

However, it wasn't long before she felt the discomfort involved with denying her vice, not just a mental one by nature. Even her body seemed to wretch and cringe at the withdrawal. The redhead would toss and turn in bed, the act itself tiring her rather slender frame out soon enough. And then, it finally came--sleep... or something close enough to it. Another victory for Tessa.

~~~~~​

Yet it seemed like only an hour or two before the next challenge presented itself to her. Tessa couldn't be sure, but she heard... perhaps felt, a reverberating echo of a knocking sound coming from somewhere. Most likely the door. Maybe Barrin in need of something--or worse, Ayna had woken up in the morning to find him there without explanation?

But even if the cleric of Erion wanted to rise, her body simply wouldn't allow her to, at least, not at the moment. She could raise her hands and twitch her feet at best, but her body was still locked down from the paralysis of sleep. The knocking continued as she tried to will her muscles to move and to allow her to get up. In addition, her vision was still blurry from the quality sleep that she did get...

Suddenly, the door burst open. The collective tromp of nearly a dozen footsteps could be heard filtering into the room, and looking up would show the nun a collection of faces that she didn't immediately recognize.

"Oh, there she is. Got yourself all nice and ready for us, I see?"

A dreadful feeling washed over her. The throng of strangers quickly proved that it wasn't an unfounded one, rushing to hold her down despite what struggles she did muster. Her sword and dagger, the tools that she had spent no small amount of money on to ensure that events like these would never happen, lay just out of reach, upon her desk, as the nameless men grabbed hold of her ankles and wrists, using their body weight and superior strength to pin the thrashing limbs to her very own bed. After getting a closer look, she vaguely began to recognize them. It was hard to be terribly sure, as the nun had essentially been shocked into waking up, but they did resemble the thugs that searched the tavern from the night before.

"Nice thing about beggars like that guy is that you don't gotta pay 'em a whole lot to get access to a treat like this," said one mercenary to the other, casually moving to the open space left in front of Tessa. He then grabbed a handful of cloth from her collar and pulling straight down with no small amount of force, causing the fabric to tear and expose her naked body underneath. It had been so long since she was shown off in such a manner, let alone to someone who she didn't know, and the mere act of undressing her would trigger a flood of uncomfortable feelings and memories to assault her, just as the crowd before her was looking to do.

Unfortunately, they didn't wait terribly long to move on. How or why they were here was anyone's guess, but what they intended to do at that moment was utterly obvious. Four men were holding her down, one upon each limb. Even if she instinctively kicked out, it would only anger the one providing restraint and cause him to tighten his grasp upon her, painfully so.

"Hoh, nice. Y'know, I never understood why you ladies hid all of these goods. Actually, I guess I do now, since looking at them now, I just can't resist," commented the one who had torn her clothes, placing a rough hand upon her bosom and toying with her breasts playfully; if she wore undergarments at that time, he would quickly do away with them while muttering under his breath before returning to kneading her modest bust. It was clear that he wasn't doing so for her sake, the way a lover might seek to warm her up, but more for his own personal amusement, just to see how she would react. A sadistic child, toying with an animal. Running his fingers over one of her nipples, he would give it a brief tug, then repeat the process for the other. His tactless methods easily made Tessa feel sick to her stomach, but she could do nothing as he resumed fondling the soft flesh of her mounds.

After molesting her upper body at his leisure, he slid his hands down further, grabbing her panties by the sides and sliding them down her legs. The men holding her ankles would assist him in this endeavour, and while Tessa could certainly put up a fight, they ultimately prevailed by virtue of sheer numbers. Before long, her womanhood was exposed to the intruders, who looked upon her with lewd intent. The thug in front of her, whose face she now saw to bear a noticeable and somewhat familiar scar, pushed one hand forward to tease her more sensitive spots down below, rubbing at her petals, her clit, and even going so far as to insert a finger to test her wetness after toying with her for long enough. At this point, his actions were clearly out of sadism rather than any kind of consideration for her pleasure, and so he slipped a second digit in between her folds before giving her a series of good, brisk thrusts.

He then pushed the hand he had used to do so in front of her face, showing the thickness of her juices as a strand stretched out from between his thumb and index finger. "Not very pure of you, is it, Sister?" asked the stranger, placing extra emphasis upon her formal title.


Meanwhile, in the background, several of the men could be seen rummaging through her room. One tilted her treasured sword about in hand, testing its balance; another carelessly swished the parrying dagger through the air. A third man had discovered her lockbox, and managed to open it somehow before finding the pipe and stash of ballweed. As the imperfections of her body was exposed to this group of strangers, so were the vices of her mind. They certainly didn't make the discovery easier with their comments.

"Hey! Ballweed! What's all this about, huh?! Haha... I'm no priest or nothin', but I thought Erion taught against these kinda things. Naughty, naughty," taunted one of the many ruffians, a bald-headed man whose scars covered his exposed dome. Despite having said as much, he took her pipe into hand, placing its stem between his fat, filthy lips and shoving a small helping of ballweed into the bowl. He turned to the others for answers, and one produced a small crystal enchanted to ignite a miniscule flame.


The one who had been fingering Tessa paused to look back at the discovery of the ballweed. Afterwards, he turned towards her once again, showing her an expression just as predatory, but with a strong touch of condescension. "Oh. So you aren't really a nun, but just some drug-addicted whore, are ya? We'll be sure to give you what you want, then."

With that, the bald one behind him lit up Tessa's pipe along with the ballweed she had toiled so hard to earn, allowing the smoke to rise from the burning bundle. The familiar scent filled up the room much faster than normal. It was surreal how quickly the intoxicating fog grew. The whole experience was rather surreal in itself, and yet the cleric of Erion couldn't easily tune herself out, even with the influence of the drugs clouding the chamber. The effect of the ballweed calmed her nerves only slightly, but not nearly enough to where it would ease the severe distress contained in her chest... especially with what happened next.

The scar-faced mercenary, who had been using his hands to plug away at Tessa's crevice and get as much of her secretions as possible to flow forth, finally tired of the initial bout of molestation. "Alright, enough playing around." He deemed her ready for the main act.

And as he pulled the front of his trousers down, he would show the nun that he too was primed to go. The sight of his fully erect member hovered in front of her, but Tessa could only watch as it was carefully lowered and aligned to a certain spot between her legs. The newfound urgency of the dire situation might cause the redhead to thrash and squirm with even more force, but the vise-like grip of those restraining her kept the woman from escaping. Protest as she might, it proved unable to make him think twice as he pushed himself forward without regard for her consent, entering her in one smooth motion.

How easy it was to ruin her all over again. This complete stranger had just claimed her, but he wouldn't kiss her, brush her stray bangs aside, or tell her comforting and reassuring words. This was not a mutual act of love nor companionship. It was but an insult, an exercise of power that he was now exerting over her.

Another insult followed. "Uuuuhhh...! Damn, she's so tight I thought I wouldn't get it in there for a second." A wave of raucous laughter could be heard all around her. Worse, he wasn't one to merely linger inside of her. The first man followed up by drawing back, halfway out of her... before plunging himself right back into her depths, hilting himself once more with a prolonged sigh of pleasure. Then he repeated the process... again, and again, and again, until a steady rhythm had been established. It was happening--she was being raped, and nobody would come to save her or to stop this despicable act.

For Tessa, time seemed to have distorted itself. He could have been inside of her for six minutes or sixty, and she wouldn't know the difference. If she closed her eyes, it would only make it somewhat easier to hear the lewd comments and laughter being thrown back and forth as she was ravaged. Another sound was also prominent; the lewd slap of his hips against her own, echoing throughout the room.

But if she did open her eyes, a glance up would show the cleric a collection of grinning faces, all fixated upon her own expression. Many of the faces were somewhat nondescript and yet haunting nonetheless. What was she to show them? Despair? Defiance? Strangely, none of that seemed to have an effect, other than making the devilish smiles widen in a terrifying, almost inhuman manner. The room seemed to spin as the mercenary on top of her had his way, getting as much pleasure out of her as he could. It was very much like a dream, a bad dream, save for that she couldn't wake herself up for one reason or another.

The thugs holding her ankles spread her legs even further and back so that their cohort could penetrate her even deeper. Grunting, he placed a hand upon her waist, using the other to grab at one of her pert breasts; the other bounced back and forth from the sheer force of his repeated strokes. Pleasure rippled throughout Tessa's body, but it wasn't pleasure in the real sense, but more of a mechanical one. She had been made into a doll, a toy, a plaything and the amount of emotional distress she had felt up until that point was overwhelming, threatening at any moment to shut her down completely.

As if things wasn't bad enough, the steady sound, the pace that her violator had established, gradually began to pick up. "Uhhh... hngh! Hahh, hahh, hnnn, hnnn, hrrnnnngh, huuhhnn!" His thrusts grew faster and harder as sweat dripped from his chin onto her chest, his visage showing a buildup of strain and noticeable tension. Tessa knew what it meant; that he was going to finish. He didn't need to announce it to her. He was going to take what he wanted and do as he pleased with the nun.

And so he did. "Oooooooohhhhhh~!!" he groaned loudly, his single grip upon her breast tightening. A look down would show Tessa the union of their genitals, his cock pistoning in and out of her cunt. It began to throb and twitch powerfully as it pumped potent seed into her, letting the warmth deep within grow along with the feeling of helplessness and despair. Further betraying her will, her body responded to the man's orgasm with one of its own, sending uncontrollable spasms up and down her spine. Her tight cunny squeezed and milked at his rod, as if seeking to draw out even more of the substance that he was already too willing to give. And yet it was one of the last things Tessa wanted, to have this brute threaten her with a child, all the while finding so much bliss while she suffered. As her hips elevated in the involuntary climax forced upon her, the nun's heart would feel as though it sunk deep within her chest. It was utterly humiliating, degrading, to be made as a show piece, a mere source of entertainment, for these men.

"Hrrnn! She's squeezing down on me! She likes it!" proclaimed the ruffian as he thrust back and forth a few more times to allow Tessa's quivering pussy to empty him completely. A few chuckles from the group of strangers followed. Several more bursts of his warmth tickled the entrance to her womb, and finally, he stopped, taking a deep breath before drawing himself out carelessly. His thick seed trickled from her orifice, dripping onto the sheets below. She had been utterly ruined.

And yet, to the other men in the room, it was as if she had been merely warmed up for their sakes. The scar-faced ruffian reached forward to pat Tessa on the cheek twice, content in his relief, and pulled back and away from her, having acquired satisfaction at her expense. Fortunately, he was finally done.

Unfortunately, Tessa wasn't, and this fact was made apparent once a shuffling of sorts occurred within the room's population. Any hope she did manage to fool herself into holding on to would fade quickly enough. "Who's next?! Don't worry, everyone's getting a turn. One way or another."

The next one to have a go at her was the bald intruder, still proudly carrying her treasured pipe between his lips as smoke continued to rise out of it. He gave her an eager look and bit down on the stem of her pipe, pushing it over to one side of his mouth with his tongue.

"So ya like ballweed, huh? Me too... meeee tooooo. I love a girl who knows how to relax. Looks like you do too. Let's have a good time!"

Yanking down the front of his pants with one hand, he exposed himself to her, advertising his apparent arousal. He took his new position between her legs, her freshly used pussy not a deterrent for him in the least. Without the slightest hint of consideration for how exhausted, tired, or broken she might have been, he pushed himself into her, finding the warm coating of spunk that his cohort laid upon her inner walls to be sufficient lubricant, especially when combined with her own fluids.

It made his entry and subsequent thrusts far easier, giving him a smoother ride overall, which only served to further excite the hairless brute. He pounded her even harder than the first to have a turn with her, his burdened huffs causing additional puffs of smoke to burst from the pipe hanging from the corner of his mouth. Forging into her at a decidedly more furious and less conservative pace, he panted with excitement as he sprinted towards his own climax, though it would be difficult not to notice an overarching sense of enjoyment from the man. The smoke filling the room seemed to grow thicker as he went on, clouding the features of the others. It was hard for Tessa to know exactly why this was happening, but it was.

"Oh, wooooooooooow... you're hhhhottt! I'm definitely gonna cum inside you, hooooo!"

With a final cry, he buried himself as deep as he possibly could and gave Tessa's inner walls a second coating of hot spunk. The feeling made her sick, and yet her body betrayed her again, causing her to seize up momentarily and shudder. He had made her cum, and as humiliating as it was, the telltale spasms of her exposed frame were there for everyone to see. Her powerful orgasm made the man plowing her squeal in delight and continue on for a few more strokes, even after he had no more to give. After the fact, he eased himself in and out of her, rolling his head from side to side and apparently content to enjoy the experience.

As the bald man finished up, taking his sweet time to withdraw from the helpless nun, a third arrived to take his place. With a look around, Tessa could barely even count the men waiting to take their turns with her. One, two, three, four, five... they moved far too much, shifting in and out of the nameless crowd, making it even more difficult for her to know how or when this was ever going to end. Each and every one of them was going to use her; she simply knew this much. The cleric had little choice but to just let it happen, to endure, to survive the ordeal. For now, it was all she could do.

While the line of anonymous thugs took their turns fucking her, a brief exchange could be heard between them.

"Did she stop fighting? I guess she learned her place."

"Easier for us. Maybe we won't even have to take her through the trainer before selling her off?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Every slave needs to go through training if you want a decent buyer."

The series of words sounded vaguely familiar. It was hard to put her finger on how or where she had heard them before, but she also had worse things to worry about.

The one humping her at that moment grit his teeth, tightened his grip upon her shoulders, and came, triggering yet another climax on Tessa's end... only to pull away moments later for the process to repeat itself with the next man to enjoy her. Even though each man had different habits, slightly different tastes and parts of her body that he paid more or less attention to, the process itself just seemed so... repetitive. Some of them had turned her over onto all fours to have their way, while others had their cohorts join in to take advantage of her other open orifices. Tessa was ravaged, again and again, by these dirty, sweaty men. Why was it so hard to go somewhere else mentally? Why, in that moment, was her mind there when that situation was the last place it should have been?

The hours seemed to blend in with each other as the swirl of voices continued and somehow became less coherent, warping into jumbled, even demonic noises. The twelfth 'customer' then took his place in front of Tessa. Or maybe he was number thirteen? Nineteen? It was difficult, no, impossible to tell.

Then, a jarring sound erupted from one corner of the room. It seemed to shake the very earth itself, as if a tremor had traveled all throughout Cerawal. It repeated itself shortly afterwards.

Tessa snapped her eyes open, bolting upright in bed. Her face was covered in a cold sweat, and her breathing was labored, as if she couldn't get enough air. She was there, in her own room... minus the men from before. A look down would show that her sleeping clothes were still intact, though her sheets were bunched up on the floor for some reason. It was empty, and her sword, dagger, and cloak--which covered her lockbox--sat quietly upon her desk.

At the door, she heard a loud rapping noise. Someone was knocking.

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

(Will proofread this later. Wanted to get the basic post out 'cos gonna be gone all day Saturday and possibly Sunday.)

The redhead wasn't sure how long it was before consciousness returned, begrudgingly so, at the sound of the knocking. It felt like she'd not been out for more than a minute, she was exhausted and still so caught in in her sleep that she could barely even move, what could have possibly come about at that time of night to require her attention so urgently? Still, she supposed she'd better find out in the event that it was related to Barrin or some misunderstanding about his presence. If only she could find the strength to move herself from the bed.

And then, it happened, a group of men broke into her room. It was the nightmare event that she'd feared since that fateful day so long past. It was the fear that kept her from sleeping for so long and that she'd been paranoid enough about to have bars installed on multiple different doors in the church and even gone so far as to purchase a sword and dagger and take martial lessons to avoid ever happening again. And nothing had stopped it. Why had she allowed herself to sleep with her weapons out of reach? Why hadn't the doors stopped them? Had she been so tired that she had forgotten to reset the bars? How could this be happening again?

Dread overwhelmed her, pure and simple. She had told herself so many times that what had transpired wasn't her fault and that she'd never blame herself again, and yet in the moment she was blaming herself more than anyone. She had told herself so many times that things were different now, and that she'd never be in such a situation ever again and that if she was then she'd know just what to do to protect herself but in the heat of the moment all her preparations simply melted away. There was one thing that remained though, she had changed from the meek creature she had been when she was kidnapped the first time. Tessa didn't let the man's words cow her into inaction. She kicked and punched and bit and flailed violently at anyone in reach of her, until their grips were so tight on her legs and wrists that they were cutting off her circulation.

Even then, as their leader taunted her and claimed that Barrin had sold her out, she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Ayna! Barrin! Anyone! Call the guards! Help! Help!" She would repeat her screams for help again and again until one of the men was forced shove his hand over her mouth if only because she was so loud that she rendered everything else said in the room inaudible, and even then she attempted to bite that hand whenever the man was lax enough to let her get her jaw open around it. She wouldn't let them break her, not again.

Even as the redhead's traveling garments and the modest underwear she wore underneath were done away with, she continued to fight, and she struggled all the harder as the apparent leader began his tactless efforts on her bust. His teasing against her crotch didn't soften her struggles, either, though it did have an effect. Even though she was utterly revolted by the man, even though she wanted to castrate him and feed his manhood to the pigs, her body involuntarily reacted. It reacted the same way it had to her husband, a man who had truly loved her, at least at one point, and the same way it had eventually reacted toward the man who trained her and his own gang of thugs. Eventually she began to show all the signs of physical arousal, even if mentally she was anything but.

It was the first real blow against her pride as the gang toyed with her. The second came as her attackers found her stash of ballweed. It shouldn't have bothered her. The men were rapists and likely murderers, what did she care what their opinion on her vice was? No matter what she tried to tell herself though, the thought gnawed at her. That was her secret and her escape from harsh reality and memories, and it had been taken from her. Probably forever, if she couldn't disassociate it with what was happening to her then. Even though she had wanted to kick the habit... Erion, why did it bother her so? And burned for the pleasure of a fat man who'd likely never done an honest day's work in his life. That reinvigorated her for her fight even more, even as the third blow against her pride came in the form of the first man beginning to penetrate her.

She had never stopped fighting, even though it wasn't accomplishing a thing and she began to grow tired. And then she found herself with the hand briefly away from her mouth just as the lead attacker began to push in, which gave her a more direct avenue of showing her defiance. She gathered the foul taste in her mouth into a ball of saliva and, with distance that she could only achieve as the sister of many brothers in a lower class family, spit at the man after his lewd comment. "Is this your first time? Or just your first time with a human?" Tessa fixed a murderous stare on the man as she insulted him, though neither did any good other than to strengthen her own fortitude to keep struggling against her group of attackers. Afterward, she returned to screaming for help again until she had to be gagged.

Nothing she could do would stop what came next though, as the man began to rut at her as roughly as a horny dog might. That was when the first hints of despair began to rise in her chest. This was it, she was back where she had been for so long with some cruel man using her entirely for his own pleasure, and despite all of her promises to herself and plans there was nothing she could do to stop it. As his thrusts became more vigorous she only grew weaker, her strength sapped by the ferocious struggle she had been waging against the four sets of hands on her limbs. Once she had gone meekly and been none the better for it, and this time she had fought and been none the better for it, in truth her fight only seemed to make the group happier.

And then he began to throb inside her inner walls. She didn't need an announcement to know what was coming, and she knew there was nothing she could do to stop it. How many times had this happened before? Several with her former husband, but so many more times with her tormentors. It was a peek back into memories long covered up. All the humiliation she had suffered, treated like little more than a pet dog to be rewarded when she behaved and punished when she misbehaved. Spanked, whipped, tied up, placed on that wooden wedge, the bandits had no end of creativity when it came to ways to punish her for resisting. It always ended the same, regardless of whether or not she did anyway, she would be used in whatever position her rapist of the day desired and degraded all the while, or sometimes put on display for the entire group to use. Forced to clean them, forced to cum, and forced to get on her hands and knees and beg for something she didn't want if only to avoid the lash, and the lash was something Tessa quickly learned to avoid.

Why did that mindset seem to beckon to her right then? Why did her body react to the man's final thrusts and the first bursts of his seed by shuddering in orgasm? Why did it feel pleasurable, even though she was repulsed? Was this her? Were the man's words true? Was she truly just a drug-addicted whore? No, that wasn't her. It had never been her. She was innocent and had never wanted any of it. She wasn't going to make it easy for them again.

The redhead would've bit the leader's hand as he went to pat her cheek if her mouth hadn't still been covered, and even though it was as the second man stepped up to take his turn she did her best to shout "you're even uglier than your boss!" It ended up being little more than a series of incomprehensible muffled words though, and didn't do a thing to stop him from taking his own position and easily sliding into her slick passage. By that point she didn't even have the strength left to thrash and could only lay there limply and watch him as he worked his way into his own pace.

With no way to react and no way to move, she was left to wonder how she had ended up right where she started again. Had she not prepared enough? Had she grown lax? Was it truly caring for one homeless man that had been her downfall? Then she began to wonder if she would have another chance to start anew. The last one had only come with a great amount of luck. What if she was never freed again? Kept as a toy for these men until they grew tired of her and disposed of her. A tinge of primal fear joined a second helping of despair as the second man loosed his own seed into her belly and provoked her body into another orgasm of its own.

She began to pray to Erion as the third man positioned himself between her legs and pushed into her with an easy thrust. She begged her unseen deity to send someone to rescue her. She begged the god not to abandon her and not to let her die in the clutches of such evil men. Her prayers would go unanswered as the third man finished inside her and caused her folds to spasm anew, so she tried a new tact. She apologized to her god, she tried to repent for killing Kenneth and the lying she had done. She tried to reason with Erion that it was all done in the name of justice and good, but he would offer her no answer as the fourth man finished. By the fifth she was cursing Him for allowing such atrocities in His plan and allowing her to come to such harm not once but twice in her life, when all she had ever done wrong was to fall in love with her childhood sweetheart, but that didn't prevent the fifth deposit of seed into her womb that night.

By the sixth, there was little left in her but despair. Old habits returned so easily when hope was lost, and she had stopped all her struggling. The first man brave enough to use her mouth went without being bitten and the first to decide that he wanted her in another position found no disobedience from her. The redhead found no mental pleasure in any of it, only revulsion, but she had given up on all thoughts of escaping the group and so there was only one thing left for her to do: avoid the lash. She couldn't risk going through those abusive punishments again and feeling her self-worth broken into nothing for a second time, before she had even finished rebuilding it. She simply had to give the men what they wanted and avoid the lash, and it was a sentiment that only grew stronger when she heard those familiar mutters about taking her to a trainer.

I have to avoid the lash.... It was all she could think as she went through the motions of servicing ten and then eventually twenty and finally so many men that she couldn't keep count of them. I have to avoid the lash.

....​

And then she awoke with a start. Tessa immediately jumped up, ignoring her discomforts for a few moments as she took stock of her situation. Was it just a dream? No, a nightmare? It must have been. The nun wished she could say that she felt more relieved about that. It had been so real and terrifying. The nightmare had left her covered from head to toe in cold sweat and her lungs aching as if she'd ran a marathon. Sharp pains shot through her gums, she had certainly been grinding her teeth in her sleep again, and her arms felt like she'd burned them with something, and when she looked down she discovered dozens of angry red trails up and down each limbs. Some were deep enough to leave red trickles of blood on her skin. Had she scratched herself?

Somehow, as bad as those three feelings were, the worst by far was the combination of nausea and headache that overwhelmed her, and the mixture was topped with a feeling of exhaustion, which while not as bad as most of her other ailments at the moment was made frustrating because there was no way she could ever get back to sleep after that nightmare. Returning to sleep would doubly prove to be the last thing on her mind as a sudden knock came at the door, which made her heart feel as though it had sunken into her stomach.

Calm down, calm down. It was just a nightmare, the nun tried to reassure herself, though it took nearly a minute before it did her enough good that she rose from her bed. Even when she did rise, the first thing she did was grab her parrying dagger and unsheathe it. Tessa stalked to the door with the weapon in her left hand, hidden behind her back. She briefly considered calling out and asking who it was, and would've if she wasn't worried about scaring Ayna anymore than she likely already had. With a deep breath, the redhead unbarred her door and opened it just a crack to peek out. "Yes?"

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

It was hard to say whether Tessa's prayers, her feelings of hope and despair, her verbal defiance, or even her more violent attempts to struggle against the hold of her attackers had any effect on the outcome of the nightmarish scenario. When she thrashed and spat, it only encouraged the men to tighten their hold upon her, and her more successful resistances even earned her a few curses, slaps to her face and strikes to the stomach, which only added a helping of physical pain to the experience. Yet when she finally thought to lay still, her violators continued to pound her with a rather sickening amount of zeal.

It mustn't have mattered whether she was issuing curses or moans out from between her parted lips, as each man who took his turn with her was all too happy to fuck her in a way that benefitted him most. And of course, they would part from her looking thoroughly satisfied--that much she would remember, despite the details of the rapists' faces growing increasingly vague as time went by. It seemed as though she didn't even need to move around or push back in order to please them. But a sharp reminder lurking in the corner of her mind told her otherwise. The nun was to obey if she was to avoid the lash. She would have to pay her masters lip service, in both the figurative and literal sense, and so she did, triggering a sudden shift in the tone of those around her. The voices became somewhat more appreciative... yet mocking.

"Ooh, that's a good girl..."

"See? I knew she'd give in eventually. Even the dumbest of broads can learn something."

"Makes sense. No one else is gonna find her here... we've got all the time in the world."

A sense of vague familiarity washed over Tessa, even if she was in no mental state at the time to pay it much attention.

One man who had thoroughly made good use of her available mouth suddenly pulled out, only to shoot his warm seed all over the nun's visage. But when she finally opened her eyes, her face would be free of the disgusting adornment, her limbs free of the heavy men that pressed their weight down upon them. But for all of the newfound freedom that came with being awake, her body still ached in a way that it hadn't experienced in a good while--and was also covered with rather worrisome marks.

But while it was a particularly intense one, it wasn't the only nightmare that Tessa had experienced. This was undoubtedly the result of her saying 'no' to the ever-tempting ballweed stash that lay upon her desk. It wouldn't go quietly, apparently, and perhaps this was to be expected. After all, Isthos' first successful trial was only met with a more daunting task, and yet another after that. That scripture was a reminder that rewards weren't always immediately in sight, sometimes far from it--but despite that, one had to continue to have faith if they were to succeed.

Still, it was difficult to shake off the feeling of weariness and unease that lingered upon the redhead like the cool layer of sweat upon her skin, and she took the necessary precautions in case her dream turned out to be a prophetic one.

Cracking open the door just slightly, she would see her visitor not to be of the towering height of the thugs in her most recent nightmare, but of a more diminutive stature. It was Ayna.

"Hello? Oh, good morning. Sorry to wake you, but... did you invite this man in? The, erm, homeless-looking one sleeping on the front pew. I woke up to see him laying there, and it startled me a little. I wasn't sure if he had made his way in since the doors were locked, I think."

Her pause was interrupted by the slightly more distant sound of knocking. It had gone from a steady rhythm to a much louder one during the lull. The visitor's frustration could almost be felt behind each rap of the solid wood.

"Speaking of the doors, someone has been knocking on them for a little while now. Should I answer it?"

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

Tessa breathed an audible sigh of relief when the identity of her visitor became evident. She didn't allow Ayna into the room proper though for fear of the young mother catching her with the knife behind her back. Instead she listened to the other woman from the small opening of the door which she had initially offered. "Ah, sorry," she apologized for her rude greeting. "I had a difficult night. There's something I will need to speak to you about once I'm dressed. As for the sleeping man. Yes, his name is Barrin and I invited him here. He was begging for alms so I allowed him to rest here for as long as he needed. I apologize if it's caused you any discomfort."

The continued knocking frayed her nerves all throughout her reply, especially given the nightmare she had just recently woken from. As much as she really didn't want to go and answer that door though, Tessa liked the idea of Ayna answering the door even less. She was quick to follow up her apology by noting as much. "No, I will answer it once I'm dressed. If they've been at it for a while and haven't given up then surely they'll have the patience to wait until I can put on my habit. It's probably best if you see after Cael. We'll speak after I meet with the visitor." It wasn't a hard dismissal, but Tessa would gently shut the door afterward.

From there she would rush to replace her dagger in its sheath and get dressed, which mostly consisted of her stripping and throwing her traveling clothes toward the corner of the room and quickly putting on her habit without her usual meticulous check for wear and tear. No small part of her wanted to bring her sword and dagger, but she doubted her woolen belt would do well to hold both and there was no way she could properly conceal the weapons. Beyond that, their mere presence might escalate a situation, depending on who was visiting. She would instead, for the time being, leave them on the desk but hide them under the traveling cloak in case her visitor might need to be brought back.

Dressed and with preparations made, she would rush out to the door in order to answer it, offering a "I hope you rested well, Barrin" to the homeless man if he was still present and was awake. The dream had left her a little more paranoid of the man, but she did her best to remind herself that the Barrin of her nightmares and the Barrin of reality were two wholly separate entities. As she moved past him she ran through a checklist in her head of who her visitors might be. Mercenaries? Possible. Guards? Possible. Urstan? Hopeful, but not as likely as the first two. Devout followers of Erion? Least likely of the bunch, depressingly. What she wouldn't have given to have windows near the main doors so she could at least peek out and see who awaited her. Still, best to play it normal for the time being. Reaching the doors, she would unbar them and swing them open, offering a simple greeting as she took her guest in. "I apologize for the wait. Normally the church opens earlier but I was ill last night and could not sleep. What can I do for you?"

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

The cleric's explanation proved sufficient in suppressing Ayna's worries, given the sudden look of enlightenment she exhibited in response. "Oh... I see! I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised, seeing as you were kind enough to take us in. No, it's... no problem, I was just slightly worried that someone might have broken in without your knowledge. But I certainly can't object if he is your guest."

She turned to give the slumbering stranger another look for a moment, then nodded. "Though I do have to ask--do you do this often? Cerawal seems like a strange place to be so charitable. Not that I take your kindness for granted, of course, but there are um, thugs and the like about town, you know..." The woman didn't need to continue for Tessa to be able to read what she meant to say next, given her look of concern. She was wondering whether or not anyone had taken advantage of the nun's apparent kindness yet. Asking in such a straightforward manner might not be the most tactful of choices, given that it was thanks to Tessa's good will that she even had a roof over her head for the time being, and so she left it at that.

Ayna winced a little as the knocking continued, a bit louder this time, but would not bother arguing when Tessa assured her that it would be taken care of. "Very well. Yes, I'll go see to Cael. Chances are he'd be more liable to give your visitors trouble than your more recent guest." She moved back into the room where they stayed. The relative silence told of the normally rowdy child's desire to sleep in.

Though sunlight had already peered through the stained-glass windows, hinting the current time of day to be around early to mid morning, Barrin was still sound asleep. Far more peacefully than Tessa had that night; he even wore a slight smile as he wheezed. Perhaps it was a pleasant dream, a brief respite from the hardships of his current situation. The nun's hopes for him to have a good night's rest, whether they were sincere or not, had apparently been fulfilled.

By the time Tessa had reached the main entrance, the incessant knocking finally stopped. A few muffled exchanges followed before the devotee of Erion opened the doors to her chapel in a manner less hesitant than the way she answered Ayna. She might have caught a glimpse of a handful of mercenaries, but only for a second--perhaps it was the lingering aftereffects of her terrible dream. Another look would reveal that it was nothing so threatening. There stood two figures. A couple, Tessa might guess, from the looks of it. The man was of slightly smaller stature, about equal to the cleric in height, though his face was more on the handsome side than not, free of scars or stubble, and his jet-black hair was neatly kept. His attire matched his neat appearance; it was the garb of a noble, or at least someone better off than the typical Cerawal citizen. Tessa could guess him to be from another town or even a different fiefdom altogether.

His other half, on the other hand, was strikingly beautiful--a blonde noblewoman with long, well-kept locks and a fancy green dress by which to match her eyes. While he looked somewhat apologetic, however, she looked incredibly annoyed, but the sight of Tessa in her habit would cause the lass to curb the sharpness of her expression just enough to be polite.

"See? Someone was here after all," commented the man.

The woman took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Oh, wonderful! I was hoping it wouldn't be abandoned or anything of the sort. Would be a shame, really..." she started, before turning her attention to Tessa. "I see. Apology accepted. So you are the head of this chapel, then?" Provided Tessa didn't stop her, she would invite herself into the structure, taking a good look around. "It's a bit on the small side and modestly decorated... but, it has the essentials, and even has some of my favorite scenes from the scriptures done in marvelous relief. Even if it is wooden," she added. "It's just about perfect."

Her partner followed her in, rubbing the back of his head as his eyes darted about the various features in the chapel--not that there was a wealth of them to behold. "Are you sure, though? Maybe we shouldn't be bothering Sister with such a tall order. I mean, marriage is usually something held at places with a bigger... staff, isn't it?" asked the man, first looking to Tessa and beyond, perhaps to see if there were any other clerics on duty. He only caught a glimpse of Ayna, and hadn't stumbled across the snoozing Barrin just yet.

The blonde turned to him with a huff, folding her arms. "We eloped, remember? Besides, I'm not going to take my chances trying to find a half-decent chapel in Greybourne. Who knows what we'd have to put up with there. But since we're close to the border now, we may as well join together here, in the eyes of Erion, while we're still in His country. Besides, we were lucky to have even found a place such as this one."

"Okay, I'll give you that, but I'm sure there are still quite a few to see down south. The Church of Elynsor has supposedly made a big push into Greybourne, as far as Naralona even, with entire squads of missionaries. There's bound to be something nice and new there."

"You say that, but I've taken quite a liking to this place!" exclaimed the bride to be, shaking out the nervousness in her hands as she approached the altar. Her dreamy approach was interrupted by something as she made a rather sour face, sniffing a few times.

"What's that smell?" Then, the woman looked to her right, where she spotted a stranger sleeping on one of the front pews. It was Barrin, of course, blissfully oblivious to the newcomers and their plans.

She turned to look at Tessa, her brow furrowed in concern. "Um, is he... supposed to be here?"

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

"No," Tessa would admit at Ayna's question about whether or not she took in strangers often. "But I've yet to be given cause to regret it," she would offer with a small smile. It was easy enough to be paranoid, especially after the sort of nightmare she'd just had, but still, to give up and begin to never trust another human being again seemed so much worse. If she did that then wouldn't she be admitting that her emotional wounds would never fully heal? Besides, in many of His scriptures it was written that taking care of one another was one of man's duties from Erion, and sheltering the homeless was just part of that. "Try not to worry too much, I do take my precautions," she would add before allowing the conversation to drop as Ayna prepared to return to watch over Cael.

---​

Eloping nobles wasn't among what Tessa had expected or prepared for, but it proved to be a nice change of pace from the other sort of visits she had been dealing with recently. After a nod to assert that she was indeed the head of the chapel, she would motion for the two to come in, albeit a half a second after the blonde noblewoman invited herself in, and then close the doors behind them, though she left them unbarred. She didn't bother to follow them around the church initially, instead taking a few steps away from the door to put herself between the pews and staying there as they looked around. They seemed more interested in conversing between themselves than with her anyway, but the nun had long ago learned the value of simply listening and did as much as they held their small argument on the details of their eloping.

It also gave her time to muse at how her opinions of the nobility had changed since she had entered the church. When she had been a young woman, the sight of two of the nobility in front of her would have had her timid and nervous, but as it was she mostly couldn't believe how immature the two seemed. It was a sharp contrast for a woman used to dealing with the peasants and middle class who worked and toiled for their living. They tended to have much more humility on average when approaching matters of the church which were outside of their understanding. If they were truly eloping then would their love last once whatever money they had ran out? Still, it was hardly right for a cleric of Erion to think such thoughts or judge too much from first impressions.

Not that the noblewoman helped matters much when she spoke of Barrin as if she'd found him on the bottom of her shoe. "Yes, he has fallen on difficult times and so I've allowed him to sleep here. It is Erion's charity," she explained. She would push on though, just to remind them that she did indeed have two ears and did not take the comments about her chapel as a compliment. "It is part of the problem in such a modest chapel as this one in such a pagan town as Cerawal, there are never enough faithful to fill the pews, so I have chosen to allow those who need a roof to share Erion's roof."

Luckily for the two nobles, Erion's charity extended to them as well. She imagined that if either fiance's parents came by they would be less than pleased with anyone who had been willing to marry the two, but she could take care of herself. Rather than question them on their circumstances, she decided to offer them what options she could. "Forgive me if this is presumptuous, but I can oversee a very small, very quick wedding ceremony if it pleases you. It is popular among those who do not desire many guests at their ceremony. You will be given a chance to speak your marriage vows along with any other vows you wish to make to one another before the altar and then I will declare your wedding official under the church of Elynsor. I will also provide you with a signed parchment that I witnessed the ceremony."

It was how Tessa's own wedding had been handled, though she could count the families of herself and her husband among the witnesses, although she hoped the wedded life would treat the two before her better than it had her. "You would still be able to have a larger ceremony at a later date, if it's your wish."

 

[Takimaru]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

The noblewoman quirked a brow to demonstrate her initial skepticism, then gave the slumbering Barrin another look. "Is that how it goes around these parts? Closer to the capital they would never bother with such beggars, else the chapels would simply be full of them," she went on to explain, as if Tessa hadn't spent a single day up north. "But I suppose it makes sense when you put it that way. Especially if it earns more worship in a rather heathen portion of our land..." Other than the few additional comments added on by the woman as if to advertise her capital-born viewpoint, she seemed to allow the nun's explanation of Barrin's presence to pacify her for the time being.

Tessa's proposal did well to both change the subject and pique the woman's interest, with her visitor's expression easily showing as much. "I was actually seeking to inquire about that! Although perhaps we can wait until you're not so um, preoccupied..." She gave a momentary glance to Barrin and then to Ayna and Cael, who gave a peek from behind the slightly cracked door to their temporary room. "It's just as well, since I would need to find a proper dress and what not. We'll be in town for the next night or two." Her groom to be crinkled his mouth, placing a hand behind his head. He didn't seem terribly keen on the idea just yet, but he would issue no more outright protests.

"So perhaps... tomorrow would be good? We'll be sure to let you in on the final verdict when it's made." She couldn't help but turn and grin at the dark-haired man behind her, showing him a smile that even he couldn't look away from. Despite his somewhat negative outlook on the building, he would sheepily return the smile as a blush creeped over his face.

"It's hard for me to say no to that smile," commented the man with a sigh, finally managing to avert his eyes as he gave his informal approval. The words he uttered might have sounded somewhat familiar to Tessa, even if the relationship this particular couple shared wasn't necessarily all that similar to the one she had experienced long ago.


The two would then meet each other in the center aisle before joining hands, and the woman turned to give Tessa a nod before taking her leave. "Hopefully that's enough time for you to prepare. We'll let you know how it goes in the morning, yes?"

 

[Hafnium]

Re: An Empty Confessional (Hafnium) GMed by Takimaru

The nun kept herself from outwardly frowning at the noblewoman's comments on the poor of the heartland of Elynsor. By her logic, the increased resources of the churches surrounding the capital should've meant that they were housing, clothing, and feeding the needy masses. Erion's teachings all but demanded such charity from those who could offer it, based on Tessa's own interpretations of His books.

Immaturity was no real sin though, and the redhead imagined that it was the base root of the woman's viewpoints so she let it pass without comment. It wasn't as if she herself had never been immature. She, too, had thought long before that poverty was a matter of will, effort, and perseverance versus sloth. The redhead herself worked hard to help keep her family afloat, and she had at one point truly believed the ideas that all beggars needed to do to escape their situations was cast off the chains of their laziness or vice. Had she never suffered that fall into slavery, Tessa might have never realized how easy it was to have everything taken away from circumstances outside of one's own control and how difficult it was for a person to claw their way back up. It was hard to consider any part of those wretched days positive, but if there was a silver lining then it was that she had grown to be able to empathize with the suffering of others more than ever before.

And, like the noblewoman and her apparent lover, she had also expected her wedding to be some grand ceremony before she had settled for a simple exchange of vows in front of family. Married life was not what she expected either, though she couldn't say that she disliked the content of her warmer memories. They were ones which were stirred by the obvious love that her two visitors shared no matter how much their romance was unlike her own had been. Tessa had never been a very dependent wife, she had been required to be independent from the moment she could walk, but there were some gestures that her former husband employed which could turn her world upright on the worst of her days. The way he would lovingly brush his hand through her hair when she was frustrated had a way of instantly melting her, and even just his embrace had always been enough to make her feel safe and secure. But what once were happy and warm memories were now bitter recollections of all that had been stolen from her, ones she didn't care to dwell on for too long in front of others.

Still, she hoped that the two lovers would find the fairy tale ending that she herself had been denied, and so she decided she would focus her efforts entirely on helping them for the brief amount of time she might know them. "Tomorrow will be fine. Do not worry, I will make sure that those who are sharing the building remain out of the hall for the duration of the ceremony," she would offer her reassurance. "Let me know your decision in the morning and we can discuss how to proceed from there." She would offer a smile, a wave, and a farewell as the two moved to take their leave. "I hope to see you both in the morning."

Afterward though, she would seek out Ayna. "Is Cael still asleep?" Tessa would inquire if she managed to catch the woman still peeking out through the door. Although if Ayna had retreated fully into her assigned room then the redhead would quietly invite herself in and determine for herself whether the boy was sleeping or not. Regardless of the variables, her goal was to motion Ayna out and away from her child so that she could discuss what she had learned the night prior.