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Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)


Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

Dana would not end up needing to test out her talent at bluffing as she opened the door and entered, as the security room proved as empty of people as it was of tigers, although the former had certainly left enough of their stuff behind. The room was larger than the holding cell she'd started in but not by much, and had the additional space consumption of six desks on each side of the room. Each desk was identical in terms of make, a simple metal computer desk with a single drawer thrown in, and the presence of a monitor, keyboard, mouse, and an in/out tray.

Beyond that they varied quite a bit. One was plastered with at least a dozen photos of a redheaded woman and two similarly redheaded children with her. Another desk's in/out tray was completely empty, mainly because the papers were scattered all over the desk instead. Another apparently had a love for knickknacks and another still owned a novelty coffee mug which read, manic capital letters and all: "I LOVE it when MY WIFE lets me go fishing." One person had apparently been playing the old Windows Pinball software on their machine before they'd needed to rush off. Perhaps of the most interest in the room proper was a key card that had been left to lay alongside a handheld transceiver on the last desk to the left.

A crashing noise happened to echo from outside as she noticed the card and radio, but a quick glance around would reveal no tiger, not outside the door nor waiting in the hallway to pounce. Nobody was currently around and there was nothing stopping her from taking them or getting into anything else she might like to in the security room so she was free to mess around for as long as she felt safe with the desks and their contents. In addition, there was another door directly across from the one she'd entered the room from that seemed to lead into a supervisor's office, should she want to explore that.
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

The crash briefly stopped Dana's search, but not for long: Once she'd made sure it must have been somewhere further away and not about to affect her in the next minutes, she went back to the desks, clipping the radio to her tunic, and pocketing the keycard.

She'd spend a minute or two going through the machine that was running pinball and evidently no screenlock, looking for any applications helpfully named "security control system" or "security camera viewer" or something along those lines, but not being too hopeful to find anything vital.

Once finished with that, she figured she might as well do a full sweep and checked if the supervisor's office was unlocked, given the situation probably expecting some scared guard to be barricaded in there...
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

Taking up the unknown pinball player's greasy mouse and keyboard, Dana would discover that they had been an incredible blight on the research station's network security even beyond having disabled the auto lock on their computer. Somehow, however many hundreds of miles below sea level, they had managed to install a gameboy emulator and Pokemon Red along with an N64 emulator and Goldeneye. Dana would also find evidence of poorly hidden porn folder that took up two-thirds of the relatively small work drive and was downright incredible in its variety.

Unfortunately, Dana didn't run across any apparent security controls or even a layout of the facility. She did, however, find a security camera feed. Clicking through she would find the stairwell just as tentacle-covered as ever. The blonde guard was sitting on one of the tables in the cafeteria next to her unconscious colleague. Dana would find the tiger on the next feed which was labeled Gym, along with one unfortunate woman that it had found in its escape who had lost her pants and was bent over a weight bench and mounted by the large creature.

Assuming she chose to keep going the next feed was labeled Rec. Room. It was a simple room consisting of a large couch, TV, and a few game tables on one end and three pool tables on the other. The security camera in the rec. room also allowed for just a glimpse of a sign labeled Gym which pointed further into the room. The next camera on the feed was the brig, similarly empty, which turned out to be simply a room that was divided in half by iron bars and a cell door with benches on the prisoner's side. Another click would take her to the Armory cam, which, unlike the two before it, proved not to be entirely empty. Among the shelves, lockers, and pegs stocked with cans of mace, stun batons, and stab vests, Dana would spy four strange little square robots that were no bigger than breadboxes simply rolling around aimlessly on their treads.

Dorm Hallway 1-6 would make up the next feeds, and they consisted of the same sorts of hallways that Dana was coming to know very well with little of interest in them. Park popped up next, which turned out to be a pod full of flowers and grass, though it was difficult to tell whether it was real or not through the low quality feed. The sight of three green women lazing about in that grass would prove to be a bit more unmistakeable though. The last two before a long string of 'No Feed' error messages would be Security, which gave Dana an excellent overhead view of herself looking at the monitor in all her Link-yness and then Supervisor which would reveal that the room was, in fact, occupied, not by humans but rather by more of the small machines she had spotted in the armory, stealthily hidden behind the desk and out of view from the door.

A quick check would reveal that the supervisor's door was completely unlocked, which left Dana able to go and face the little machines and explore the supervisor's office if she so desired or to head off in some other direction if she preferred.
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

"Bingo!" Dana commented out loud as she searched through bookmarks and ran across several online bingo sites.
She narrowly avoided spending several hours testing out the various emulators (virtuaception?), as she reminded herself that there was still a horny cat on the loose.
She didn't quite want her first time to be bent over a ratty old computer chair, with her face shoved into a screen where she was getting slappered to death.

Eventually, she did find a camera viewer, and flicked through the various facilities visible. "Hi redshirts! Hey pussy in pussy."
Okay, so the cat was through recreation in the gym, busy with procreation.
Question was how long it'd stay busy, though, and if this place was as perverted as it should be, they probably didn't implement a very long cooldown period for it...

Armory looked useful, though nothing yet that'd obviously clear out the tentacles - perhaps a barrage of mace grenades, but then how would she make it through...
Anyhow, first things first. She noted the strange Wall-Es rolling around in armory, and she was almost sure they weren't just overdesigned roombas.
There was just something off about the way they wobbled around, as if they were patrolling the room.

A bit more zapping and admiring the dryads later, she eventually saw herself in the room: "Damn. I have a GREAT ass, if I say so myself..." but other than that not much new.
But then she quickly froze as she noted more of the strange tankboxes in the supervisor room.
This time, they looked even more sinister, not patrolling but rather looking all hidden and ambush-y. Had they heard her? Probably...

Well... If there was any ambushing happening, she'd rather it be on her terms.
So she quietly opened the door, and tried to get a feel for where the boxes she'd seen on the camera would be in the room.
Then she'd check for some room under the desk that'd allow her a blind swipe at the things,
or failing that she'd climb on the desk and start with a cleave down at where the little things would be sitting.

Straight attacking something without even checking if it was hostile first perhaps wasn't the nicest thing to do, but hey, it was only robots, so who cares, right?
Besides, they outnumbered her, so a surprise attack was totally called for to even the odds a bit.
"Nananananana-Da-na!"
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

D vs R1: 13+1 vs 14+1, missed.
R1 vs D: 6+1 vs 16, missed.
R2 vs D: 1+1 vs 18, critically missed.

Along with being one of the first wooden pieces of furniture Dana had seen in the research lab, the supervisor's desk turned out to be an executive style desk with a solid wooden back, and so her reverse ambush required her to go for plan B and hop up on top of the desk. Unfortunately her movie barbarian-esque attempt to vanquish her enemies with a mighty cleave of her axe from above came a bit short due to the added distance between her and her target and only succeeded in splitting the face of one of the hapless drawers that had ended up in its path.

The roomba reject apparently took offense to her efforts to scrap it, as it spun in place a few times before opening its top up in order to reveal a extending mechanical arm tipped with a metal claw which it launched at Dana with little warning. The gamer was just able to shift herself out of the way of the projectile before it got a hold of her, causing it to instead careen harmlessly past her and hit the door before the arm fell limply across the desk.

She wasn't quite in the clear though, as the second seemed ready to capitalize on the distraction offered by its mechanical comrade. While she was dodging the first's efforts to grab her, it opened a compartment of its own to reveal a sprayer. A pink mist issued forth from the nozzle toward Dana's face, but luckily it fell short before dissipating into the air. More luckily, this put her in position to take a free swing at the little machine with nothing between it and her to stop her, and she was able to quickly heft her axe and strike it in place of the one she'd missed earlier. The ensuing hit caused a satisfying crunching noise to fill the air and left a rend in the machine's outer covering that exposed its electronic innards. Another hit like that would probably break it.

Dana: FP 5/5, AP 0/10

Roomba Reject 1: FP 2/2
Roomba Reject 2: FP 1/2
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

Woohoo, her first fight! And the bots did turn out to be hostile, that was a relief.
Now, any good hero would have a witty one-liner for her first real battle.
Not that one-liners were her particular area of expertise, but she did have her raid wiping in laughter on occasion...
"Hah-ha! Time to clean YOUR clock!" - That would have to do.

With that out of the way, onwards to robot smashing! Target: The injured bot, hoping to level the playing field to a 1:1.
No time to reposition, time for swinging. If that meant dropping prone on top of the desk with her head and arms leaning over the edge, so be it.
Time to deal death from above, in axes and insults. "Go go gadget roomba!" - man, that was WAY better.

(OOC: Feel free to do double combat rounds whenever convenient, unless something breaks autopilot)
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

D2 vs R2: 5+1 vs 14+1, miss.
R1 vs D: 18+1 vs 10. Grabbed. (Stage 1/3)
R2 vs D: 12+1 vs 11. Sprayed.

Had Dana been able to understand the mind and heart of a robot, or been a Roomba whisperer of sorts, she might have gotten the distinct impression that, while her audience appreciated her effort at bravado, they agreed with her appraisal of her one-liner in that it could've been more specific toward them. If she was, in fact, not innately empathetic with virtual machines apparently intent on her capture and dosing with aphrodisiacs, this subtle communication between woman and machine would probably be lost at the sight of them spinning around to the tune of their own mechanical whirring and preparing for another attack against the gamer. Regardless, at the end of the day she was the only one in the room with an axe, which meant being able to manually change their scoring of her one-liners.

Her second one-liner would be met with far more approval than the first, even as she attempted to finish the job she'd started and end the second robot. Unfortunately though. her target proved to be far more spry in dodging her latest swings against it as it moved back and forth and side to side with ease in order to avoid Dana's attempts to break its exposed electronics. Before long she found that she had to drop prone onto the desk just to keep it in range, and that was when the first robot, which had subtly rolled out of sight to the other side of the desk while she was preoccupied with its comrade, struck.

Before Dana could process enough of what was happening to avoid it, two metal grabbers looped firmly around her thighs and clicked closed. Without delay the robot began to tug at her, trying to pull her from the desk and onto it, and if she looked back at it she would find out exactly what it was trying to accomplish. The little machine had sprouted two rubbery phalli out of its top, spaced just perfectly to make their targets obvious, and while they were of average size they whirred and buzzed with all the hyperactive nature of the robots themselves. Dana had to fight it as it continuously attempted to pull her closer to its vibrating toys, and for such a little machine it proved strong and persistent in equal measure. Acting on its comrade's distraction, her second attacker stopped its dodging long enough to spray her in the face with the pink mist from earlier, causing her body to begin to tingle.

It left her in a worse situation than she had been in. The grab on her thighs meant that she had to split her concentration between fighting its pull and attacking and defending with her axe. She could certainly continue trying to finish off the wounded one instead of trying to wriggle out of the fresh one's grasp, it wouldn't be impossible, though every moment she was in the grip of the other machine was another chance that she'd make a mistake and allow it to bring her closer to it, with obvious results.

Dana: FP 5/5, AP 1/10, Roomba Grapple Stage 1: -1 to all rolls except escaping the grapple.

Roomba Reject 1: FP 2/2
Roomba Reject 2: FP 1/2
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

"Gyaaa! I thought you were supposed to move in spirals!" Dana exclaimed in frustration as her swing went wide. As if to mock her further, she saw the bot in front of her raise a little spray nozzle, and she just barely too late realised what was going to happen, as she got a faceful of pink mist. She coughed and braced herself against the sleepiness she was expecting, only to be surprised by a wave of heat instead, which raced down from her head through her body, settling into her toes.

At the same time, she was vaguely aware of being grabbed by her thighs and slowly pulled off the desk, but she was too preoccupied with the scene in front of her to worry too much about that. She was still fairly soundly on the desk, and so far wasn't being pulled too far off her swing. And if playing RPGs had taught her anything, it was that you cull the number of enemies first, to prevent getting zerged down.

Keep swinging! Do not relent!
She tried to catch the spraying bot right in the stupid nozzle. Less puns, more pain.
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

Dana vs R2: 17+1-1 vs 5+1: Hit. Kaboom.
R1 vs Dana: 15+1 vs 11: Stage 2.

Dana's axe sheared the nozzle right off and continued unimpeded downward into the robot's main circuit board, smashing it in half with a satisfying crunch. The EGG's VR proved immersive in that too, as Dana felt the pleasing sensations of destruction in her hands through the handle of her axe when she turned the roomba reject which had been attempting to dose her with aphrodisiacs into an motionless pile of wreckage.

Unfortunately, this did nothing to dissuade the other robot. If anything, it seemed determined to avenge the loss of its comrade in automated floor cleaning by way of violating the bespectacled gamer. Dana would barely have time to remove her axe from the wreckage of her previous target before she was pulled right off of the desk and onto the floor on her knees, leaving her hovering over the ominously whirring toys attached to the top of the robot. The robot began to beep and whir as it tugged powerfully at her thighs, attempting to pull her down onto it and rob her of her first time in a spectacular manner. Worse still, the position she was in meant that her ability to attack the machine was greatly reduced. She wasn't left with many options other than to attempt to attack it or struggle to pull herself free though.

Dana: FP 5/5, AP 1/10, Roomba Grapple Stage 2: -2 to all rolls except escaping, an additional -3 to attacking the grappler, and -1 to escape.

Roomba Reject 1: FP 2/2
 
Re: Dana Miller (CrazyPerson)

"Kabloof! Damn, that is satisfying..." Dana briefly celebrated, before the tugging on her legs turned into a sudden yank and pulled her down from her temporary perch on top of the desk.

For the first time, she had time to take a good look behind her, and briefly considered just dropping back, hard, aiming for the bot - let's see how it would handle a hundred-odd pounds of gamer butt dropping down on it.
At the last moment, she caught herself, realizing what the whirring protusions were for. At my luck, that bot is fast enough to get just in the right spot... As it was, she barely managed to break her fall by scraping her axe into the desk, landing somewhat awkwardly on her knees, now being pulled slowly but persistently down.

"First mistake you made: Going up against a superiorly-armed person!" and with that, she'd try to grab the sides of the desk and twist around - how much leverage could a little roomba have, anyway?
Well, the plan was that she'd land on her butt facing away from the desk, with a hopefully overturned and disoriented bot between her legs, in prime swinging territory. Now to see if the plan survives contact with the enemy...
 
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