Plmnko's family problem.

[plmnko]

Ok, first i need to give apologize to all for write this innescesary topic filled of problems and bad grammar in a fun and happy place like ULMF. Also, i will be glad to hear any opinion and idea, maybe this topic could help someone other.

Anyway lets start.

I have four small brothers , The next after me [who ended his Criminology carrer and was two years without work] get a work and there he fall in love with someone. That happened in June. At the start he wasted all his money in fast food, restaurants and others things with her, returning to the house only to sleep and get clean clothes. Then after a month he started to go to sleep sometimes to the woman parents house, soon he started to stay nearly all the week there until finally decide to live there.

Here come the bad things.

My brother was 2 years waiting for a work about his carrer, he reached a 97% and even get a prize when he get graduated. But after live with her he never had money, he only return to our father house to ask for money and take things than "he buy", from clothes to finally take a pc and the xbox 360. Maybe he give money to buy them, but my others brothers were using it to make works and my father's work info is there too.

She is not good looking yet she is smart, dont have money and use her family car to take him out to many others cities. She never leave him alone and he is always in a defensive state, meanwhile she looks everywhere for anything at the house than my brother could take away. Its like if he were corrupted and turned at a simple servant. My brother have 25 years but is her first girlfriend, he always get focused on a thing so have her in the room make hard talk with him, also take her away looks to be hard.

I passed all this, until now when i heard her say in joke than "piece by piece he will leave the house". Now he is making piñatas for her family after leave his work.

No doubt than something must be done before he lost his live and dreams forever

 

[Blagtastic88]

Re: Plmnko's family problem.

Yep, she sounds like a typical emotionally abusive and manipulative SO. My sympathies.

Unfortunately, the only way out of this for him is for him to change and the only way you could get that to happen is to get his to realize how badly she is using him. If you can get him alone at all, which sounds like it will be a challenge enough, try to get his to read about abusive relationships. Plant the seed in his head that he can do better and find someone who love him not for just his stuff and doesn't belittle and hurt the ones he loves. Get him to realize that he can still continue the life he wants. These articles are good starters if you can get him to read them. Other than that, the last ditch effort would have to be a family intervention. Corner him and isolate him with your family and just sit him down and make him realize she is abusive.

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I had an emotionally manipulative girlfriend in college and though it was nothing like this, she made my life a living hell and I never even realized it until I left. Abusive and manipulative SO's can destroy your life, so I hope that you can sway your brother before it is too late. Best of luck, indeed.