!!!!! WARNING !!!!!
RANT/FLAME/RAGE AHEAD
so don't murder me in my sleep for it :V
Got the warning?
Not gonna murder me?
...Okay, if you are, will you at least read first?
And, if not, make it quick :V
First,
I am a regular of Toonpimp's forums.
Wanted to establish that before I got into this.
Alright, first and foremost, I want to establish that Toonpimp has to be one of the highest paid game makers out there for porn. Hundreds of dollars of donations pour into his pocket, dozens if not hundreds more from ad revenue, and another set of hundreds from the (overpriced)commissions he receives. No, he doesnt make as much as Zone, or other things of that nature, mainly because their work is an entire different level of quality than his.
No, he makes his from 'GIMME MONEY AND MAYBE ILL FINISH THIS GAME" donations, and the multitudes of (blocked, for me, thank you Adblock) ads he plasters all over his main page, his forums, AND his games (I swear, they're the most heavily advertisment-covered games I've ever seen).
And, lo and behold, what has he done?
BAWWW I NO MAKE GAMES NO MOAR YOU NEWBS DIDNT PAY ME ENOUGH IMMA GO BACK TO COMICS.
Which are shitty, toonpimp. Let's be honest now, you're not the most talented artist i nthe world, and, frankly, I would have no interest in you at all did you not make my most favored gametype (run or rape). What boggles me is the lengths that your fanbase will go to cover for your mistakes and for your shortcomings.
I really have no idea how they put up with it.
I make a FAR less incendiary comment about things than this there on his forums and it's deleted with him going 'Oh, btw, this is my forum. You respect me on my forums'.
Yes, TP, I would respect you, had you a respectable business model and a capability to provide the projects you promise.
Irregardless of the free projects, you have several PAID projects that I honestly cannot tell if you've put more than a day or two's work into.
Cracklevania 2? Honestly? You've got a few enemies in a MASSIVE map, no gameover screen, no sounds, re-used music, re-used enemies in some instances, no 'continue', no cheats, no save, re-used BOSS...I wont even get starte--No, wait, I will.
Shinobi whatthefuckever, that ninja game. I'm too tired to remember the name.
One. Enemy.
ONE.
TP, I consider that a proof-of-concept ALPHA more than a finished game. Oh, yes, a boss, too, but with only one enemy and three different 'levels' (Screens, more like) its a piss-poor comparison to almost every other action-based porn game out there.
Even LineMarvel's work (What little there is) outdoes yours in variety quite often.
While I enjoy the Run or Rape style of games QUITE a lot, you seem to take pride in the amount of work you put into milking your fanbase for cash.
I cannot even fathom the amount of sheer epicness that would result from a Run or Rape game if it had the same quality of work put into it that even the lower percentile of Newgrounds creators can put out in a single week of work.
You demand money like you crush it up and inject it directly into your veins, and, to be honest, I would not be surprised if that was pretty much what you did. You should have a job, you know, to pay for things and have spending money.
Finally, if you really, REALLY need the cash to make quality games, go make a goddamn paysite so I can finally pirate your shit.
Zat is all, dummkopf.
I'm going to go sleep now.
