GetBend
Mystic Girl
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2012
- Messages
- 202
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Re: JSK工房 Hgames Thread
Now checking the lovers ending in SPC, and oh boy are we filled with typos.
First, it's not ''PEOPLES'', it's ''PEOPLE''.
Then, appearances? Nope, appearance is the way to go here.
It[s not ''I'm confident with sword'', it's ''I'm confident with THE sword.
Its not ''countries DOES NOT WANT, they DO NOT WANT the Empire''
Not depends on, DEPEND on.
''Who able to live with me"? Its ''Who IS able to live with me'' or ''who HAS BEEN able to live with me''
''Since it was you, i dont want to think anything strange''. What does that even mean?
At the first ejaculation, she says ''did you come?'' when HE DIDNT. Be careful with that.
''I wonder if normally would go this much''. It '' i wonder if normally would IT flow/go/pour so much.
''Did you still hold a grudge'?'. Its ''DO you still hold a grudge?''
''could it be you're waiting blah blah blah'' Its minor, but its ''could it be THAT you're blah blah''
''After this, i want to be together forever'' Its '' i want US to be together forever''
Sloppy,Sloppy. Gotta step it up, Gil.
Would it be ok to send me the script? Many lines sound really strange and it will be easier if i have the text beside me. Perhaps i can rewrite it more appropriately.
Now checking the lovers ending in SPC, and oh boy are we filled with typos.
First, it's not ''PEOPLES'', it's ''PEOPLE''.
Then, appearances? Nope, appearance is the way to go here.
It[s not ''I'm confident with sword'', it's ''I'm confident with THE sword.
Its not ''countries DOES NOT WANT, they DO NOT WANT the Empire''
Not depends on, DEPEND on.
''Who able to live with me"? Its ''Who IS able to live with me'' or ''who HAS BEEN able to live with me''
''Since it was you, i dont want to think anything strange''. What does that even mean?
At the first ejaculation, she says ''did you come?'' when HE DIDNT. Be careful with that.
''I wonder if normally would go this much''. It '' i wonder if normally would IT flow/go/pour so much.
''Did you still hold a grudge'?'. Its ''DO you still hold a grudge?''
''could it be you're waiting blah blah blah'' Its minor, but its ''could it be THAT you're blah blah''
''After this, i want to be together forever'' Its '' i want US to be together forever''
Sloppy,Sloppy. Gotta step it up, Gil.
Would it be ok to send me the script? Many lines sound really strange and it will be easier if i have the text beside me. Perhaps i can rewrite it more appropriately.
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