voyeurkind
Jungle Girl
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Poor Lucy Version 0.3 - NEW!!!
- Thread starter Rat
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Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
I'm just trying this game right now and will mirror something already said in this thread: you really have to polish the English here. I'm not really into criticizing content because everyone has such different tastes but the actual ability to make sense of the text is essential. If you simply must do it yourself, make that a priority. Clearly you understand the coding and have an artist, or are an artist and have a coder. Whichever. The language is very awkward though. I'm definitely going to be following the progress of this though. There are multiple spelling errors, many grammar errors, many awkward word choices. The easiest clean-up might simply be to dump it all into a spell checker and make sure things like "akward" and "apogilgize" disappear. That's an easy fix and you can do it yourself with minimal effort.
I'm just trying this game right now and will mirror something already said in this thread: you really have to polish the English here. I'm not really into criticizing content because everyone has such different tastes but the actual ability to make sense of the text is essential. If you simply must do it yourself, make that a priority. Clearly you understand the coding and have an artist, or are an artist and have a coder. Whichever. The language is very awkward though. I'm definitely going to be following the progress of this though. There are multiple spelling errors, many grammar errors, many awkward word choices. The easiest clean-up might simply be to dump it all into a spell checker and make sure things like "akward" and "apogilgize" disappear. That's an easy fix and you can do it yourself with minimal effort.
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
Well, you are right!
I do all that myself. I`m studying, I read English books and fanfiction. I do my best to make the text readable and at least understandable.
With bad word choice I will fight while reading books in English. Grammar...yes, I think it`s the most difficult part. I`m working at self-improvement.
I hadn`t used a spell checker. I will try it. Thank you for a good advice!
Well, you are right!
I do all that myself. I`m studying, I read English books and fanfiction. I do my best to make the text readable and at least understandable.
With bad word choice I will fight while reading books in English. Grammar...yes, I think it`s the most difficult part. I`m working at self-improvement.
I hadn`t used a spell checker. I will try it. Thank you for a good advice!
Last edited:
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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bankss
Mystic Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
Actually it's quite a nice game.
I liked her innocence and curiosity, let's hope for a "slow" corruption (not seeing her cockwhoring and begging for cum on day 7....) and a clothing system and this could be one of the most promising games of western devs in 2017
Actually it's quite a nice game.
I liked her innocence and curiosity, let's hope for a "slow" corruption (not seeing her cockwhoring and begging for cum on day 7....) and a clothing system and this could be one of the most promising games of western devs in 2017
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
I`m glad that you liked Lucy. About costumes: in next version will be one new costume. Lucy`s corruption is a difficult question. I will try to make is slow but as it is my first game lack of experience can affect that.
Actually it's quite a nice game.
I liked her innocence and curiosity, let's hope for a "slow" corruption (not seeing her cockwhoring and begging for cum on day 7....) and a clothing system and this could be one of the most promising games of western devs in 2017
I`m glad that you liked Lucy. About costumes: in next version will be one new costume. Lucy`s corruption is a difficult question. I will try to make is slow but as it is my first game lack of experience can affect that.
Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
Like Lucy images and the drawing style.
Gameplay. Be careful of BIG maps and too much walking around. Also that cleaning game (cleaning the hen house) where you walk slow and have to do it 6+ times. Not a fan.
If you have a minigame, you have to ask yourself 'is it fun?'. If it's not fun, it better be short/quick. Something that just takes time, has no reward, is just annoying. The main reason to have repeat task is if each time something changes. Either the player learns something about the situation (thinking it 'out loud' to the player), or has some negative/funny side effect (loses clothing for example). And even then there is no reason to have it run slow.
Btw, I found your English to be rough, but understandable.
Like Lucy images and the drawing style.
Gameplay. Be careful of BIG maps and too much walking around. Also that cleaning game (cleaning the hen house) where you walk slow and have to do it 6+ times. Not a fan.
If you have a minigame, you have to ask yourself 'is it fun?'. If it's not fun, it better be short/quick. Something that just takes time, has no reward, is just annoying. The main reason to have repeat task is if each time something changes. Either the player learns something about the situation (thinking it 'out loud' to the player), or has some negative/funny side effect (loses clothing for example). And even then there is no reason to have it run slow.
Btw, I found your English to be rough, but understandable.
bankss
Mystic Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
Well, you're doing very well. Some people like fast corruption, it's just that all the games are the same and this is very promising.
As an advice, I could say to take it slow, her curiosity on sexual things it's cute, let her explore, don't make her be a total slut begging for cum too soon and it will be awesome.
About minigames yeah, they can be a little grindy and maps are big (counting on this is rpgmaker MV and we can't speedhack it), but I don't think it's that bad, and the nice art is worth it.
Keep up the good work, it looks great!
Well, you're doing very well. Some people like fast corruption, it's just that all the games are the same and this is very promising.
As an advice, I could say to take it slow, her curiosity on sexual things it's cute, let her explore, don't make her be a total slut begging for cum too soon and it will be awesome.
About minigames yeah, they can be a little grindy and maps are big (counting on this is rpgmaker MV and we can't speedhack it), but I don't think it's that bad, and the nice art is worth it.
Keep up the good work, it looks great!
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
Thanks a lot for a compliment to my art. I'm bending over backwards each time.
Regarding big maps, it was a really stupid idea to make it big and empty.
Now I've changed my way and I'm creating a city map. There big size is necessary and map looks more lively because now there are a lot of events in one block. Now I need to find the golden mean and not to make too much events.
Minigames...Oh, my goodness, I understand it was an incredible stupidity.
It's a shame that I made you do it. Honestly, I got fed up with it too.
I'll put off minigames for a while. I need to think about it.
My English will be softer and text more understandable as time goes by
Like Lucy images and the drawing style.
Gameplay. Be careful of BIG maps and too much walking around. Also that cleaning game (cleaning the hen house) where you walk slow and have to do it 6+ times. Not a fan.
If you have a minigame, you have to ask yourself 'is it fun?'. If it's not fun, it better be short/quick. Something that just takes time, has no reward, is just annoying. The main reason to have repeat task is if each time something changes. Either the player learns something about the situation (thinking it 'out loud' to the player), or has some negative/funny side effect (loses clothing for example). And even then there is no reason to have it run slow.
Btw, I found your English to be rough, but understandable.
Thanks a lot for a compliment to my art. I'm bending over backwards each time.
Regarding big maps, it was a really stupid idea to make it big and empty.
Now I've changed my way and I'm creating a city map. There big size is necessary and map looks more lively because now there are a lot of events in one block. Now I need to find the golden mean and not to make too much events.
Minigames...Oh, my goodness, I understand it was an incredible stupidity.
It's a shame that I made you do it. Honestly, I got fed up with it too.
I'll put off minigames for a while. I need to think about it.
My English will be softer and text more understandable as time goes by
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Ver. 0.1
Thank you for good advices.
Some of them are already realized in version 0.2.
In regard to slow corruption of Lucy: it looks like the most difficult mechanics of the game. I you will make her slut too fast, there will be no sense in the game, but if you will make this process too slow, it won't be interesting to play. OMG, that's so hard!(just a joke, I think I'll cope with it)
Well, you're doing very well. Some people like fast corruption, it's just that all the games are the same and this is very promising.
As an advice, I could say to take it slow, her curiosity on sexual things it's cute, let her explore, don't make her be a total slut begging for cum too soon and it will be awesome.
About minigames yeah, they can be a little grindy and maps are big (counting on this is rpgmaker MV and we can't speedhack it), but I don't think it's that bad, and the nice art is worth it.
Keep up the good work, it looks great!
Thank you for good advices.
Some of them are already realized in version 0.2.
In regard to slow corruption of Lucy: it looks like the most difficult mechanics of the game. I you will make her slut too fast, there will be no sense in the game, but if you will make this process too slow, it won't be interesting to play. OMG, that's so hard!(just a joke, I think I'll cope with it)
Shaele
Jungle Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Version 0.2 - NEW
It's nice, but it feels like it was translated with Google Translated, 90% of the text is so broken english, it was kinda challenging to understand the story.
But I do like the choice in the plot at the start, and that it arches to 2 seperate games (at least in the beginning).
It's nice, but it feels like it was translated with Google Translated, 90% of the text is so broken english, it was kinda challenging to understand the story.
But I do like the choice in the plot at the start, and that it arches to 2 seperate games (at least in the beginning).
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Shaele
Jungle Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Version 0.2 - NEW
Sorry, I'm not even sure what you meant to ask.
If by fail you mean the problem I've had, it was the grammar and the synta, the sentence structuring. There were places, where the translation was like if it was translated from japanese to english using Atlas and Google Translate. (mostly in the Grandpa fork.
Gonna go a second round later tonight in the city fork.
Sorry, I'm not even sure what you meant to ask.
If by fail you mean the problem I've had, it was the grammar and the synta, the sentence structuring. There were places, where the translation was like if it was translated from japanese to english using Atlas and Google Translate. (mostly in the Grandpa fork.
Gonna go a second round later tonight in the city fork.
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Version 0.2 - NEW
Thank you! I'm doing my best to improve my knowledge of English.
Secound round should be better.
Thank you! I'm doing my best to improve my knowledge of English.
Secound round should be better.
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Version 0.2 - NEW
Yesterday started my leave, and I decided to devote myself to development of the next version.
That's cool, because you no longer need to wait for it so long as the last time (the new version will be ready much faster).
Other benefits are:
I have much to do. Follow the news, and wish me luck!
Yesterday started my leave, and I decided to devote myself to development of the next version.
That's cool, because you no longer need to wait for it so long as the last time (the new version will be ready much faster).
Other benefits are:
- the game will be bigger
- more 18+ content
- one new dress
- new mystery
- different effects of choice (Yeah, baby!)
I have much to do. Follow the news, and wish me luck!
Re: Poor Lucy Version 0.2 - NEW
Is the entire game updated? Or is it just the "No"-option in the first event that is added? Just so I know what to play through as I don't want to do the same thing all over again for no addition
Is the entire game updated? Or is it just the "No"-option in the first event that is added? Just so I know what to play through as I don't want to do the same thing all over again for no addition
OP
Rat
Demon Girl
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Re: Poor Lucy Version 0.2 - NEW
The location "in the forest" is still the same. In this version I added the new branch. It opens if you don't run away.
Is the entire game updated? Or is it just the "No"-option in the first event that is added? Just so I know what to play through as I don't want to do the same thing all over again for no addition
The location "in the forest" is still the same. In this version I added the new branch. It opens if you don't run away.