Starcrash (Robot Unicorn Attack fan fiction)

Rule 34

Nov 10, 2008
Oh yes, I went there.

Starcrash races along the purple fields of Glee with a grim look in his eyes. With ease the steely unicorn leaps over the chasms that connect this world to the Abyss of Monstrosity. No pure being can survive there, not even an artificial one.
And yet, somehow, the Monstrosity has taken her. Lighteye. His love. His mate. The fairies have informed him. This will not stand – surely the Unicorn King knows a secret way into the Abyss! Surely he can save Lighteye!


A star crystal appears in front of Starcrash suddenly. Heralds of the Monstrosity. Corrupted star matter. The unicorn snorts and lowers his head. It will not stay in his way for long. With a wordless war cry Starcrash charges up his rainbow energy and uses it to propel himself forward at breakneck speed – or rather, breakstar speed. The structure explodes into a kaleidoscope of crystal shards as Starcrash pierces it with his horn of steel. The rainbow-haired steed continues onward, unabated. He has just begun to pick up speed.


“This is madness,” Wintermane neighs as he slams his hooves down. The Unicorn Council whinnies in agreement. “Madness! MADNESS!” Starcrash angrily rises, demanding silence from his fleshy companions. “Madness? Is it really madness that drives me?” He turns towards Sugarteeth, an elder and plump steed. “Did you not feel mad when your son- LOOK AT ME,” he demands as Teeth turns away. “Did you not feel mad when Monstrosity slaughtered your son?” With his own horn, Starcrash forces Sugarteeth to look at him. “Would you not do anything to bring him back?”

With a sudden burst of anger, Sugarteeth pushes Crash away. “There is no use in anger,” he rasps, his neigh old and broken by sadness. “Anger will not revive my son, will it?” Starcrash snorts and turns, addressing the council as a whole. “How many of us have lost somebody to Monstrosity? To his minions, to his unholy stars? He has shattered our land, our home for centuries, into pieces! He murders our kin, HE ABDUCTS OUR YOUNG! And you sit by, grazing lazily, and DO NOTHING!” His glare almost sears Puffcloud. One day her daughter was gone from her stable, and the scattered crystal shards pointed to Monstrosity. Ashamed, she lowers her head.

“ENOUGH!” Wintermane has trouble regaining control of the council – many of the younger members show sympathy for Starcrash's plight. But he will be damned if that artificial shadow of a unicorn gains any hoofhold here. “No matter how rousing your words, Starcrash, the unshakeable truth remains! No pure being can enter the Abyss!” Slowly, the robot unicorn turns to face the Unicorn King.
“You...” Crash's voice shakes in wrath. “You could never accept me. Not since the day the Technocracy sent me here to aid you. No, you... You have always seen me as an abomination!” “BECAUSE YOU ARE!” Wintermane exclaims as he rises and slams his hooves down. “Gears and pistons! A lifeless husk, filled with star matter! THIS is what you are! NOT a unicorn! NOT one of us! And now – now YOU want to lead us into a war against Monstrosity? HOW-”

His voice slowly dies, and so do the voices in the council. Horror sets in. Unspeakable terror stemming from an unthinkable deed. “If no pure being can enter the Abyss,” Starcrash calmly states, his forehead pressed flush against Wintermane's neck, his horn buried deep in the elder's throat, “then I must cease to be pure, must I not?” As the unicorn's blood stains his metal case, the rainbow light slowly fades from his eyes, his mane. An ashen gray takes it's place. As he pulls his horn out of the King's body, Wintermane collapses, felled by his own kind. Starcrash turns and faces the council. “Following my path means the death of the unicorn race as we know it,” Crash quietly states. “But it matters little. You are all dead if you stay.”

Starcrash slowly leaves the council hall. Around him, the bloodshed begins.
Last edited:
Nov 10, 2008
Re: Starcrash (Robot Unicorn Attack fan fiction)

Well, I always say, fanfiction has it's own Rule 34...if it exists, there's fic of it. I mean, there's freaking PONG fanfiction out there.

Seems intriguing and amusing enough, Rule. Keep it up, heh. Caught a few grammar bits in the read-through. Only one that really glared was "many of the younger members show sympathy for Starcrashes plight." Should be "Starcrash's," no?