I played this game for a while, and I think it has potential.
Now, before anyone goes on and read this post, bear in mind that this is merely a suggestion. It's based on my 20-30 minutes of playthrough and I bear no ill intent towards the creator him/herself.
My first impression:
I know this game is disturbing to some people and perhaps are made deliberately so (thankfully, after playing a lot of other "games", I am now unfazed by it). Graphics-wise, I think you managed to convey the message of each scenes, so that's alright.
I laughed quite a bit when I saw that evil guy's face and when he says "u" instead of "you". (I suppose the graphics kinda kills the mood a bit, but I digress for now)
However, take the necrophilia scene in the opening scene for example: the evil man rapes a dead body while speaking in a 12-years old kids language. This just kills the mood straight away. And then the lack of capital letters in each sentence is triggering my OCD (well, figuratively speaking)
I really feel that this game is seriously lacking in terms of translation quality. Personally, I think this is a big turn-off for me, although I can't speak for everyone.
Perhaps you can ask people to help you with the quality check(QC). I can't say for sure, but I suppose some people in ULMF will be happy to help you with that. (at least I am)
Again, don't get me wrong, I know you put a lot of work into this game and the translation is readable. But, as it stands now, this game can be better.