Welkin2 if you found a mistake just let me or 3G know, we'll change it in the next patch.
Here is a tweak to the opening, with some fixes to grammar, run on sentence (Chinese can have lots of comma and multiple sentences string together, but English like to have them broken up by lots of full stop), and/or westernization of word choices. (Comments in brackets)
Through the ages, men are widely recognized as the master of the world. Great men and have built and destroy kingdoms, while lustrous beauties are treated as mere trophy wives.
Indeed, the legend and myth are dominated by such great men. Having reach the pinnacle in both might and arms while also possessing brilliant yet cunning minds, these men would conquer and plunder the world as they see fit. Along their path of conquest, these men would often gather the beauties of their time for their own personal harem. (yes, I told out the or die trying part, but feels smoother without it)
But in truth, men are not the only player in this game. There are also powerful women who are equally dominant in the craft of war and intrigue. These women commanded great authority and respect, even the men would humble themselves beneath their feet. (Merged the two paragraphs)
From the ashes of the war ravaged Western Continent (In English, west is direction, western is used to describe something on the west side), there rise one such heroine of great beauty and prowess -
Jiao Long the Sword Maiden of Azure Dragon. (Added the character name and title here)
It is said that her veins holds the blood of great dragons from both East and West. Her charm and cunning rivals the most holy of saints and the devious devils. Her skill with the sword is also unrivaled. Thus, she ascend to power and became all powerful. The men of the west could do nothing but submit to her dominance.
The chronicle of history also elevate her so, some praised and reverence her as the Holy Dragon Matron, while others cursed her under the name of the Demon Dragoness (instead of double quotes, use capitalization on title). But to most of the world, she would forever be remembered as the Sword Maiden of the Azure Dragon.
-- As chronicled by the Tale of the Sword Maiden of Azure Dragon - Prologue
In the Sex Exploit Room, should the description for Diva Mercenary be increase max MP, rather than max HP.
The mobs arousal demon was misspelled as deman. There are also some text where female was written as feman.
During the fight with the fire girl, after transformation:
Such childish display of control, you cannot beat me with that. (missing "me", also change to full stop here) If you have forgotten the discipline of the holy beast (typo here), then I shall teach you the basic again!
Alternate translation:
Such childish temper tantrum, you cannot beat me like that! If seems you have forgotten manners befitting a holy beast, allow me to teach you the basics again!