Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

[Serifyn]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Hah, sorry. im trying to get into the habit of explaining things better, i guess i took that one a bit too far.

I got rid of it. I'm not a fan of scat anyway.

However, rather than simply saying. 'AND THAT NIGHT, YOU DID HER RIGHT IN THE REAR, THE END' i need to be a bit more descriptive, especially when it comes to situations (sex scenes) such as that, actually, i feel as though that is a part i could make significant improvements in explaining, especially since this is an sex centric Cyoa.

 

[TentanariX]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

A and C if possible; if not then x's C.

 

[sturm]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

B. My reasoning being there's no point getting ready to open the portal if we aren't going to be powerful enough to venture in (in regards to A), and we have already abducted and killed two women from the town as well as dug up two graves in said town's cemetery, we may want to hold off on abducting anyone else for awhile and let the heat cool down, don't want the constable to round up a posse or anything

 

[ArchAngelGundam]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

B. My reasoning being there's no point getting ready to open the portal if we aren't going to be powerful enough to venture in (in regards to A), and we have already abducted and killed two women from the town as well as dug up two graves in said town's cemetery, we may want to hold off on abducting anyone else for awhile and let the heat cool down, don't want the constable to round up a posse or anything

I like this one's logic. B.

 

[xgkf]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Logical until the woman returns home after being raped and tells everyone about us. Thereby resulting in said posse roundup anyway, only with them having the added benefit of knowing who/what is the culprit.

If we're going to rape anyone, it's better if we capture them before/after, and/or kill them after.

 

[Minerve]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

C.

Anyway, I have to agree about the "scat" with the X-guy.

 

[TentanariX]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Not to derail, but you could simply say she shits the tentacle out of her anus and orgasms/ whatev; though just in more elequant/flavorful wording. And you simoly leave out anything resembling feces/excrement. '3'

 

[Minerve]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Not to derail, but you could simply say she shits the tentacle out of her anus and orgasms/ whatev; though just in more elequant/flavorful wording. And you simoly leave out anything resembling feces/excrement. '3'

Yeah, more elegant is better.

 

[Bloodshifter]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

C

Abouit time we git some slaves.

 

[Serifyn]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Not to derail, but you could simply say she shits the tentacle out of her anus and orgasms/ whatev; though just in more elequant/flavorful wording. And you simoly leave out anything resembling feces/excrement. '3'

Xgkf was talking about a specific line i had describing in detail the status of Odella's morning dump, which i had originally thought to factor into the story somehow.

I have removed the line and kept in the other part about you (The Tentacle Familiar) exploring the depths of her anal cavity.

I understand that the vast majority of you would rather i not bring up scat and therefore i will spare you all any future implementations of any event which would involve it.

 

[sturm]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Logical until the woman returns home after being raped and tells everyone about us. Thereby resulting in said posse roundup anyway, only with them having the added benefit of knowing who/what is the culprit.

If we're going to rape anyone, it's better if we capture them before/after, and/or kill them after.

We have the magic roofie potion to make them forget everything that happens, remember?

 

[xgkf]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Xgkf was talking about a specific line i had describing in detail the status of Odella's morning dump, which i had originally thought to factor into the story somehow.

I have removed the line and kept in the other part about you (The Tentacle Familiar) exploring the depths of her anal cavity.

I understand that the vast majority of you would rather i not bring up scat and therefore i will spare you all any future implementations of any event which would involve it.

Actually, Tenta more-or-less had the right idea. I'm talking about pretty much this entire section:

Spoiler

You awaken to the muscles in Odella's body all pushing you outward at the same time, with your lubricated body, you slide through her colon easily and are deposited onto the ground underneath her.

Odella picks you up and places you near her foot as she continues to squat down and defecate in the area where you were first squeezed out.

'Whew' Odella said as she reached for some leafs from the small bush beside her.

'I need to eat more fiber' Odella said as she started to wipe herself with a handful of the leafs.

Odella picked you up and placed you inside of a warm bucket of water, and held you down inside of it caressing you lightly.

'Stop!' you yell as she continues to force you down into it.

finally you come up.

'What was that for?'

'Do you think im going to let you just slither around me all day smelling like my own shit?' Odella said as she turned to wash her own hands off in a separate bucket of water.

Odella grabbed you and placed you upon her shoulder again, she was completely naked and it was freezing out here, she was shivering a bit.

'I think we're done with the anal experimentation for now.' Odella said as she picked up the buckets and started to rush into her house, passing by the zombie standing outside as she did.

I could do without about 3/4's of all of that. You could possibly re-write it or just have it be done "off-screen" if you wanted, but yeah... Could pretty well do without any and all things fecal-related.

 

[Serifyn]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

I'm not going to re-write it, im done with that update and i've cleaned it up a bit (at your initial request), but i'm not going to go back and fix this entire thing just so i can be more politically correct.

If you've been following closely, you'd know that you've witnessed almost every part of your life from the point of view of the tentacle creature since you've been summoned.

In order to have an anal scene (which lets be honest, was inevitable), You would have had to witness the point of view of the creature as you had for every other event thus far.

Taking into account both the realism and the point of view aspect of this CYOA which i am trying to convey, it would have been difficult to write in a different way than i did, in fact, going into greater detail would have been more accurate (assuming Odella is an actual human being and defecates as we all do and the fact that you never leave her side even for a moment.)

Once again for the third time, in the future, ill try to keep in mind that my audience is not a fan of scat and ill try my best to keep it out of future posts, please don't make me type this again.

 

[TentanariX]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

A-apologies! I didnt mean to stir a hornets nest, I was just trying to help and give a few ideas to help get your picture across and not gross out the readers. Please go back to the CYOA currently in progress...... *bows*

 

[Serifyn]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

A-apologies! I didnt mean to stir a hornets nest, I was just trying to help and give a few ideas to help get your picture across and not gross out the readers. Please go back to the CYOA currently in progress...... *bows*

I appreciate any advice you can give me, i'm trying to improve not only my writing, but my decisions on what to implement. i didn't personally think that what i wrote was so bad, its actually pretty tame, but once again that is my perspective alone and since it seems like alot of people do in fact have a huge problem with it. ill try my best to tone it down.

 

[Serifyn]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Please don't neg me on my own CYOA thread, i don't get paid to do any of this and i sometimes work for hours at a time to create new content. I don't have to do this at all, i could just simply disappear into the shadows and become a lurker again.

 

[xgkf]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Whatever.

I never once said "go back and change this", hell, I never even asked you to remove what was already there. I was pointing out my disgust with the that very particular scene and simply asked for avoidance of it and that subject matter in the future.

Given that you were willing to make the change that you did, however, I merely suggested that you could simply re-write or snip that particular section to further de-grossify it "if you wanted", based on the assumption you were open to doing so. Clearly you weren't, and clearly you didn't.

Fine.

Moving on.

 

[Serifyn]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Whatever.

Fine.

Moving on.

Seriously what is with the attitude? I've done nothing but acknowledge your position and even make alterations to the original text in order to make it less 'disgusting.'

I got rid of it. I'm not a fan of scat anyway.

I understand that the vast majority of you would rather i not bring up scat and therefore i will spare you all any future implementations of any event which would involve it.

Twice i tell you and others that in the future, ill be mindful about posting content related to this, but even after the change (which once again, i made specifically for you), you suggested i could take it one step further.

I could do without about 3/4's of all of that. You could possibly re-write it or just have it be done "off-screen" if you wanted, but yeah... Could pretty well do without any and all things fecal-related.

Oh, i could just rewrite it? i could go back and delete the entire thing and rewrite a scene, i could spent an hour coming up with a new way ingenious way for the protagonist to get out of Odella's ass after anal sex without actually coming out of her ass, i could quickly write an intermission where you find a teleportal device inside of Odella's ass and teleport into a shower where you can wash the 'dirt' off of yourself.

Maybe i could just skip the scene entirely, Odella and the protagonist wake up suddenly and are already at the breakfast table and i can write about what kinds of cereals they like and whether or not you like your eggs scrambled or over easy.

How about i don't write any anal sex scenes at all. How about i write into the story that all of the characters are some kind of mutants who don't even have an asshole. Problem Solved.

I'm not even trying to be an douche right now, but I've already spent half the damn day apologizing and explaining myself over one paragraph, so excuse me if i sound like i'm ready to flip over a fucking imaginary table at the suggestion that i could simply rewrite the entire thing so that small children can safely read it without being traumatized, i mean you do understand that this is a TENTACLE RAPE cyoa?

besides, we could all use a little more fiber in our diet.

 

[Minerve]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

I just wanted to say the part Mister.X wants to remove, I don't agree: I'm a journalist and a writer, so I totally agre with the reasons why you wrote that, Serif' - even if yes, it's disgusting. That part is not too much. It's the prob: finding what is too much and what is not.

**

Anyway, look at the beautiful bird, there, flying in the skies...

*Minerve points the bird with her finger*

 

[Serifyn]

Re: Dark Ritual: Tentacle Familiar

Perhaps it's my own fault for even acknowledging the criticism and keeping this meaningless discussion alive.

I want to truly thank my readers and people who participate in my CYOAs, without you, none of this would be possible, however, if i went out of my way to ensure that none of the content i posted was ever disgusting or offensive, id never accomplish anything.