DMRonny's comments section

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

There I made some slight changes, fixed some typos, and removed a few of the commas that were unnecessary. Nothing really big, but I think it looks and flows a lot better myself after rereading it.

Now to get back to the second part of the second part.

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

One quick question, do you think I'm using to many contractions. Not in the dialogue, but in the other portions. Since I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to use them in more formal writing.

 

[Chibichibi]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

formal writing like essays and stuff yeah, but stories are fine.

 

[Copper]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Seconded. It actually bugs the hell out of me when people don't use them. *laughs*

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Okay, just wondering since the spellchecker I was using kept saying to change it. Of course it kept telling me to change between to among when there was only two things. So I didn't really listen to it all that much anyways.

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

And Chapter one is up, enjoy and let me know what you think.

 

[Chibichibi]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

iiiiinteresting. Very very interesting.

And it seems you've taken advice from evil evil people. Cliffhangers aren't fun

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

You mean you didn't know I was evil. It says so right on my character sheet.

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

And it seems you've taken advice from evil evil people. Cliffhangers aren't fun

I'm an evil, evil person?

Though granted he had the cliffhanger in there long before I looked at it, I just like cliffhangers.

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Actually I like cliffhangers too. Obviously or I wouldn't have done it in the first place.

Hopefully the first part still made sense after my expanding on it a little more yesterday, just before I posted it.

Now I just need to figure out what happens next. Should come fairly quickly though so hopefully the torture won't last too long.

 

[Chibichibi]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Don't get me wrong, cliffhangers are fun when you're the one writing them. And I love doing it to others. For readers on the other hand...

xD

/hypocrite

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

They're also helpful when you weren't entirely sure what to do next.

It's really hard to think like Angelique, by the way. So it's going a little slower than I thought it would, but I'll get past it eventually.

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

That's an annoying thing; to make a character that you find it difficult to write for. The more important the character, the more annoying I find it to be.

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Yes it is, and she is kind of important unfortunately. Shouldn't be too hard though after not really thinking about it all day.

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Chapter 2 is up now, I made some last second changes before I posted it up so if I missed something let me know. Enjoy.

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Excellent. I like the changes you made for that portion I was talking about earlier. Flows smoother, and reads better.

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Yeah it looked a lot better to me too. I love the thesaurus tool on the program I'm using by the way makes things a lot easier.

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

The thesaurus is awesome.

 

[Copper]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

The neighborhood around the old Ursuline Convent was shadowy and seemed void of life; only the occasional streetlight lit his way. The recently restored church was used for little other than tours of its aged halls and chapel these days.

Squee!!! The Convent! Kudos to you for perpetuating the story surrounding it!!!

 

[dmronny]

Re: DMRonny's comments section

Yeah though it didn't occur to me, till Sinful suggested I expand on that part of the chapter. Like I said tis the perfect city for vampires, seeing as how the durned city is already crawling with em.