Loup Garou
Sex Demon
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2011
- Messages
- 282
- Reputation score
- 7
Re: JSK工房 Hgames Thread
Shit. Now I can't find the damn line. I know I should have taken a picture, but, hey, I was tired.
With the "YOu" thing, I assumed you could word seach... but I am looking for it now. And it's not "YOu".... the line is "YOu're cumming inside me {heart}" (and I may be off on that, but it is only on screen for a short time. But the first word and the heart are definitely correct, and I think the rest is, too.)
You did edit down some of the long lines, but "I will make sure that you won't be able to look at any girl but me. < ret > Be grateful that I will give myself up to a" and "Ha {heart}< ret > Don't say it in such a loud voice. If some were to find out that you're such a pervert," are still showing up (you did correct "If" though. that is good). But, reading the second quote again, is that the entire quote, or did some words not make it? If it is the entire quote, drop the comma at the end and replace it with "...". Comma suggests there should be more actual words. Triple dot is a vague ending suggesting that the listener (and reader) come up with the rest of the sentence on their own.
Bathroom
"I knew it. < ret > To save you from becoming a rapist, your heroic sister will sacrifice her body, so" (So other girls will be safe?) I am sure you know this sentence is too long, but I had to mention it. How about, "Your heroic sister will save you from becoming a rapist by sacrificing her body, so others will be safe." That is probably too long, too. Trading becoming with being, herself instead of her body. It could work. I dunno.
There is a line -- "Mm... < ret > Does it taste good??{heart}" Sometimes "ste good?{heart}" is like a millimeter higher than the rest of the line. Sometimes it isn't (though much more rarely). And once (the first time I saw the line, and came here to leave a note about it), it actually corrected itself. No big deal, but...
It is NOT alone.... When you pull your dick out --
"He he {heart}< ret > Don't you have any pride left? Alright, say 'I beg (missing dialogue) d I might" it looks like
...............have any
Don't you
..............?
pride left
.............ay 'I beg
Alright, s
.............d I might
The periods are only there to show you the effect. This line and the "does it taste good" lines have been screwing up like this even when they were in the original Japanese (at least, I assume since they happened in the same spots in the dialogue).
End of sex scene 1 in bathroom -- "By the way, I expect you to take responsibility for raping your own sister. < ret > Don't you ever make" I know you hate this, but...
"Aha♥
You say that, but you're still going to cum inside your poor little sister against her will poor"
Don't ask me why I never thought of copy paste, before, but... ok... this second sex scene, first orgasm. Long sentence
same orgasm
"Onii, you came a lot more than usual.♥
Does the thought of impregnating your little sister"
Doe it what??? also, don't know if this was on purpose or a mistake, but "Does the thought....." is in red text. The mistake could come from not turning red off after the heart.
End of second orgasm.
"Hah, hah, hah...♥
Haaah... There's so much of it
You really want to impregnate your little"
I am sure you are aware of it. Just pointing it out.
Shit. Now I can't find the damn line. I know I should have taken a picture, but, hey, I was tired.
With the "YOu" thing, I assumed you could word seach... but I am looking for it now. And it's not "YOu".... the line is "YOu're cumming inside me {heart}" (and I may be off on that, but it is only on screen for a short time. But the first word and the heart are definitely correct, and I think the rest is, too.)
You did edit down some of the long lines, but "I will make sure that you won't be able to look at any girl but me. < ret > Be grateful that I will give myself up to a" and "Ha {heart}< ret > Don't say it in such a loud voice. If some were to find out that you're such a pervert," are still showing up (you did correct "If" though. that is good). But, reading the second quote again, is that the entire quote, or did some words not make it? If it is the entire quote, drop the comma at the end and replace it with "...". Comma suggests there should be more actual words. Triple dot is a vague ending suggesting that the listener (and reader) come up with the rest of the sentence on their own.
Bathroom
"I knew it. < ret > To save you from becoming a rapist, your heroic sister will sacrifice her body, so" (So other girls will be safe?) I am sure you know this sentence is too long, but I had to mention it. How about, "Your heroic sister will save you from becoming a rapist by sacrificing her body, so others will be safe." That is probably too long, too. Trading becoming with being, herself instead of her body. It could work. I dunno.
There is a line -- "Mm... < ret > Does it taste good??{heart}" Sometimes "ste good?{heart}" is like a millimeter higher than the rest of the line. Sometimes it isn't (though much more rarely). And once (the first time I saw the line, and came here to leave a note about it), it actually corrected itself. No big deal, but...
It is NOT alone.... When you pull your dick out --
"He he {heart}< ret > Don't you have any pride left? Alright, say 'I beg (missing dialogue) d I might" it looks like
...............have any
Don't you
..............?
pride left
.............ay 'I beg
Alright, s
.............d I might
The periods are only there to show you the effect. This line and the "does it taste good" lines have been screwing up like this even when they were in the original Japanese (at least, I assume since they happened in the same spots in the dialogue).
End of sex scene 1 in bathroom -- "By the way, I expect you to take responsibility for raping your own sister. < ret > Don't you ever make" I know you hate this, but...
"Aha♥
You say that, but you're still going to cum inside your poor little sister against her will poor"
Don't ask me why I never thought of copy paste, before, but... ok... this second sex scene, first orgasm. Long sentence
same orgasm
"Onii, you came a lot more than usual.♥
Does the thought of impregnating your little sister"
Doe it what??? also, don't know if this was on purpose or a mistake, but "Does the thought....." is in red text. The mistake could come from not turning red off after the heart.
End of second orgasm.
"Hah, hah, hah...♥
Haaah... There's so much of it
You really want to impregnate your little"
I am sure you are aware of it. Just pointing it out.