Well, I haven't played through the whole thing yet, but I'd like to say some things about what I've seen...
First off, excellent work on this! It's much more polished and better formatted than my attempt. I've seen a few typos here and there but nothing
really bad. So I'm calling yours the better product.
There are just a couple of oddities I noticed:
You call the first Reaper girl "Atomicka", but the katakana, as well as one brief voice line from Fia, say "Atomisia".
Also, I'm curious why you left the sheep name untranslated. "Hitudy" is indeed what the text says, but I think it's a deliberate mispelling of "hitsuji". I
dealt with that by calling them "shiip"... seemed a decent compromise.
That's all I have to say right now. Gonna play through the rest when I have some more time (assuming I can peel myself away from Elden Ring long enough...)
Thanks for the feedback!
Let me know where any typos are, and I'll try to correct them. I did mostly give up on spacing for the text that appears at the bottom of the screen during action segments (mostly reactions to sex scenes and boss fights) since space was so much at a premium for those segments.
I remember having a specific reason for changing her name to have a hard c... But I can't remember what it was. I think to more clearly drive home the link between her powers and the English word atomic?
Yes, calling them "shiip" is a pretty neat idea!
There is one bug I'm aware of in my release - for some reason, although there are five full pages of description for the Flesh Dolly, only the first page shows up in game, so the other four pages can't be seen. I've tried hex editing and debugging to work out if the game stores how many pages each girl gets in the encyclopaedia somewhere, but can't track it down. The full translated description (well, translated and then truncated to fit within the same bytes as the Japanese version!) for Flesh Dolly reads:
"Girl who has undergone physical modification in order to make love to a gigantic man. Her visible hair is actually a flesh bag; most of her internal organs have been moved there. Bald, she always wears a blue ribbon to hide her ugly appearance. Her skeleton is also modified, and her pelvis freely opens and shuts. The boneless flesh bag would seem to be a weak point, but her athletic ability is not impaired. Impossible to tell her original race. In Majo only Rosemaris would be skilful enough for this operation, but she and Dolly won't talk about it, so the surgeon is a mystery. It's not uncommon to see multiple Dollys together. Some theories say they are twins, but 4 or more together have been seen. It's unlikely Rosemaris would do that many operations."