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Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

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    Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

    Over the past week I've been writting this and going through the editing process with a couple of the peeps. Because it's a guide it is very much a work in progress though as such things are never perfect, if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them (or more case studies). Regardless I hope this helps some of you out what not and if nothing else have fun reading it.

    Google Docs Version

    Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl
    (written with help from the girls of ULMF)

    So itís everyoneís favourite dictator back again talking about two of the things I like most, applied game theory and sex (the third thing is food and I may throw in a few recipes if I see the need for it). What is the goal of all this? Some of you out there have girls (or guys) but most of you are sitting there on your little virgin asses wondering why girls always go for the assholes when you are such a nicer person. Girls going for assholes isnít something Iíll be covering here. The goal here is to get a girl and the best methods for doing so are going to require a plan.

    The thing to realize about what I said there is that this is about getting a girl, not getting into bed with one and then never calling her back (you douchebag). One night stands will likely be covered somewhere but they are something that both of you need to understand what is going on, because if you donít then one of you is going to end up hurt and then Iíll come to your house and murder you for misusing my advice.

    If I had to sum up all this advice itís that there are no Ďtricksí here, this isnít the game where you use your techniques to worm your way into someoneís pants. This is about finding a person who you are attracted to and enjoy spending your time with and enjoys spending their time with you (even if itís only for one night) and doing so intelligently instead of sitting in the corner of a bar hoping love falls in your lap. If at any stage you need to start relying on tricks to succeed you are doing something wrong. If at any stage you start using tricks to succeed you are a fucking douchebag.

    Another thing to think about is that as Iím about to go into girls and guys are not fundamentally different, so while this is targeted at men trying to find a dateable girl (most of the user base), much of it can be used by any gender at any gender.

    Girls: An Introduction

    So what are these creatures that have eluded you your entire life, this ephemeral creature laden with delightful, squishy parts youíre not allowed to touch? Well step one is to realise that girls and guys are pretty much the same, people talk about a huge gap and that man and woman will never understand each other but thatís a load of bullshit, men and women are virtually identical. Oh sure we may like different things but thatís how we were raised, you will get along with girls better if you just think of them as another one of the guys.

    I donít mean get into farting competitions with girls though, you still have to be on good behaviour (although Iím sure there is a girl somewhere that will eagerly take you up on a farting competition but donít hold your breathÖ actually on second thoughtsÖ). I mean just chat to them as regular folk, find out what they like and what you have in common just like you would a man. This is step one in not just getting a girl but in life in general, because no one likes to talk to a downer. Itís okay to be a little nervous and all that but establishing communication is step one in anything (although there are some girls out there who would mount you without this, but you donít want to put your dick in them by virtue of the fact that they would mount someone without even talking to them first).

    Regardless different people liking different things is just a fact of life so put up with it regardless of gender. However all that being said there is one difference between men and women, sex. Girls love sex just as much as guys, some of them even more so (although some guys might want to one up this, you bastards), but there is one key aspect where they are different inside sex that feeds back into a major difference between how the two genders think about it. Unsurprisingly this is orgasms.
    Men take time to get off (or conversely they donít take time to get off but donít worry about that, you can use it to your advantage) and little else, the result of which is that after sex almost all the time the man is satisfied. In fact a lot of the time sex even ends when the man is satisfied. Girls on the other hand have no guarantee that they will even orgasm, sure it feels good but thatís just not the same. So just think about that, girls like sex but itís something very intimate (even for a one night stand) and they have no guarantee of happiness, itís a risk (in more ways than one, although contraceptives and prophylactics are basically a given and if there not they should be, but if anything else goes Ďwrongí then they also get the largest problem). This is why girls tend to look past just looks much of the time, there sizing up how good you are beyond just your penis (this is also why a girl wonít always be thrilled with the Iím bored / hey were just friends and weíve got nothing else going on so why donít we / etc. reasons to have sex).

    But yeah, that is how girls and guys are different but if thatís the only difference how else we are all the same. Girls ogle guys for fun and they still think about who theyíd like to sleep with (my surveys say a girl generally will have decided if they will sleep with a guy in the first 10-15 minutes. Sure for guys it might be the first 10-15 seconds but hey, in the scheme of things thatís not to different). For every time youíve sat in the corner wondering why girls donít look at you, there is a girl whoís been in the same place thinking the same thing. Every little insecurity that you have a girl has had as well, no matter how male you think those things are (example: itís a massive hit to a girls self-esteem if they canít get the guy off).

    This also means that girls go out hunting guys as well (although donít let this go completely to your head, like you they are not always on the pull), sure you lads might think that youíre the ones making all the moves and the girls are there to choose between their options, thatís not how reality works. Girls are just as interested in finding a man as you are only instead of starting things with a pick up line, they tend to attract men with body language (although some might still use pickup lines). They are checking you out and have all the same concerns about success or failure that you do. As Iíve said before, were all just folk so treat us as such and youíll find an extra measure of confidence.

    Now some of you might be wondering if Iím not trying to just get you into a girlís pants, why am I talking so much about sex? Well its simple, you can be great friends with a girl, they can be another one of the lads and everything else a man can be but as I just finished saying they might want to get into your pants as well and that is what separates friends and everything you actually want out of this. This something more could be friends with benefits, it could be dating, it is a level of commitment to each other that generally involves your genitals because itís what you both wanted all along.

    And remember, any friend is a commitment something more is a larger commitment and if you start valuing your loins above this commitment things are going to end with your heart someplace other than your chest and probably in more than one piece. Things donít automatically end happily ever after when you get laid, so take this into account in your plans so you donít end up in a place you donít want to be.

    Boys: PENIS!

    Now I realise that there may be some girls reading this and I suppose the thing I have to tell them is that boys arenít much different from girls either. Behind their simplistic penis brains, they have all the complicated emotions and worries of everyone else. If you have worried about whether their body language means they are attracted to you or not, that is something every man has wondered as well.

    The largest difference is the concept that men donít talk about themselves and their emotions and although there are some statistics to suggest that this is true, I donít believe it is. In this day and age men talk as much about their inner feelings as women do (especially if they are talking to women, I think it makes them more comfortable). They are also just as confused by their emotions as women are. So if you have to talk to a man, donít be afraid, heís just like you, talk to them about something you are comfortable with.
    Despite this though one thing that can probably be taken for granted about stereotypes that is true is that the vast majority (although not all) of men would enjoy the conversation more if they had their hands on your breasts, regardless of size (some of the people that wonít are straight oddly enough, but just as oddly some of the ones that would are gay). Now although itís taken for granted and there are exceptions, men are still a diverse bunch with a whole ranging in breast groping desires. Some have less active libidos and need to be actively aroused before they start even having lecherous urges to contain, while other will pretty much just grab anything kinda squishy (at the end of the day it doesnít matter what type of man they are, it matters how you feel about people touching your breasts). The reason for this is simple, in todayís society, even when there are aggressive women who go hunting men (and there is nothing wrong with that despite what your puritan grandmother might have told you), the woman is generally the arbiter of when people get to have sex.

    Regardless of the truth of any given situation our culture tends to think that the girl decides who they will let between their legs. This perception encourages men to take sex where they can get it (once again, often regardless of the truth of the situation) and breasts are very out there, often flaunted and intrinsically sexual. These two things combined result in men wanting to touch breasts, not just because itís fun but because it makes them feel like an alpha male who is capable of sleeping with anyone. But you mustnít let them touch your breasts!

    This really depends on what sort of group you are in though, some people are in groups where physical contact between all genders is common and it really is just a bit of fun. Most of us however arenít from groups where such gestures are mere tokens of friendship, if you let them touch you that is a form of sexual dominion over you, like a super flirt. Obviously if you are flirting with them then do whatever you feel is best (or another similar situation like you just got a new bra that makes your breasts look fantastic, these things are signs of trust rather than flirts) but when the time comes that they do grope you and you are not interested you need to give them one hell of a glare. It wonít ruin friendships, it wonít even friend zone them, but it will tell them to stop trying to get into your pants until you tell them otherwise.

    Your Situation: Be Comfortable

    Of everything to come I may encourage you to do things that you are not comfortable with doing, some of these will be intrinsic to the plan and be unavoidable. You will have to experience the discomfort of meeting new people and in all likelihood the pain of being rejected or the depression of having to abort. These are facts of life and if you want to be happy this is all good practice.

    There are some other things though, mostly flirting, that I encourage you to do that you may not be comfortable with. The important thing to realise is that these are all relative terms, what is a flirt in your circle may make you a nympho slut in a puritan circle, or be completely looked over in a more sexual circle. You should tailor your approach to the group that you are in and only ever sink as deep into deprivation as you are comfortable with. Donít let peer pressure change you and if you are getting in over your head, take a step back and try to think about whatís going on. Generally people will be accepting of who you are and your limits but if all else fails, abort and get the hell out of there.

    In this day and age, especially amongst the nerdier groups instant messaging has become very common (the following advice partially relates to SMSí as well). Because whatever you say in these messages is under no threat of physical contact (they can hardly reach through the screen and get you) they allow you to be a lot more game in the things that you say. This can help if you really want to flirt with someone but as a general rule people who arenít interested back will tend to just brush it off. It is also generally accepted that things you flirt about over the internet are not of the same level of what happens in the real world, but once again, no matter how far you go online make sure to define how far you are currently willing to go in real life. Itís your body and donít do something you are uncomfortable with just because you got carried away online (or for any other reason really).

    Battle Plans: And it Will be a Battle

    You have resources and tactics, strategies and weapons; if you think of this as anything less than a battle you will be going in unprepared. You must scout your target, analyse it and position yourself where your weapons will have the greatest effect. Then while you progress you must constantly revaluate your position, has something changed, should I change my target, would this person be better used as a resource? The goal is to create a situation where things are stacked in your favour with a girl you are interested in. Unfortunately this is going to require meeting new people which is probably one of the least pleasant things you can do, but meeting an appropriate person is half the battle.

    Step 1: Target Definition

    Before you make any moves your first step should be define what kind of person you are going after. I donít mean write down what your perfect girlfriend would be like, but just think about what sort of things will allow you to hold a conversation with them and enjoy their company for a prolonged period of time (because thatís what weíre going for). I seriously suggest not accounting for any looks in this because they are generally completely irrelevant for what a personís personality is like.

    If you are already interested in a person you know, then try to apply what you can, there are some techniques that may help you but first impressions are important and things will be harder when you donít already stack things in your favour. If you are unfortunately attached to a girl who has friend zoned you move on to greener pastures (but donít necessarily burn any bridges), change is your friend here maybe being apart will change how she feels or if you manage to screw up with a new girl (something you shouldnít try for on purpose) see what happens when you crawl back into her arms. Just donít get to serious when youíre real feelings arenít involved because you will end up conflicted and possibly losing everything.

    As a side note think carefully before let a girl you are interested in but friend zoned you be your wingman as you are going to find it much harder to pick up anyone because youíre too busy thinking about her (although there is always the possibility of her help changing her or some other similar gain).

    Step 2: Hunting Grounds

    So youíve gotten an idea of what kind of person you will be interested in, the next goal is to meet her. But itís a little more difficult than that, you have to not only meet her, but meet her in a situation where you will be able to not only stand out from the crowd but be encouraged to form a conversation.

    The principle behind this is essentially what we all experienced at school; you are going to do group work and are forced to talk to each other, which is a lot easier to make friends when compared to just walking up to a person and trying to use a pickup line or something (which I personally would find completely terrifying). Unfortunately in school the only thing people have in common is geography and that means it can be hard to find a person that meets your criteria (although never be fully bound by such criteria, youíve got to be flexible and take advantage of opportunities that present themselves). Tertiary education then progress this because suddenly you will find that the thing that binds your groups together is no longer geography but what your interests are.

    My point is that finding that 1 in 1,000,000 girl is going to be much easier if you are only looking at the 1,000 people who might actually fit your criteria.

    This can be very difficult, although because most of you guys reading this will be nerds there is a very simple situation that can be exploited: conventions. But because not everyone wants a nerdy girl, some other places to look are hobby groups (although itís likely that anything you want will be male heavy) and short courses (massage is a good one as you will be required to touch each other). Shop around until you find something that has a girl in it. This will require trial and error, so donít get committed to anything until you find what you are after (depending on your hunting grounds the girls may not be too keen on being picked up in the places you visit because thatís not why theyíre there, but Iíll get to that).

    Case Study: Nunu Wears a Cape
    I decided that I would be interested in a gamer, they are nice people and I have a lot in common with them. They also mesh much better with my sedentary lifestyle as I donít like leaving my house.
    But where would I possibly meet just a gamer in a situation that is natural to form a conversation. My decision was Manifest, the Melbourne anime festival, as it would be full of people who liked anime. How would I set myself apart from the common chaff? Cosplay, nothing fancy but more than just being a normal onlooker.
    To further narrow the people I would be in contact with I sat down and played Soul Calibre so that I could talk to my opponents until I found someone that I could carry a conversation with and tagged along with them.
    Holding conversation with them was surprisingly easy as we had something to talk about with soul calibre and my costume combined, then gaming in general. I managed to give out my number so that I could maintain a friendship with them.

    Step 3: Talking to the Opposite Gender

    So youíve selected your hunting ground so that itís full of the type of people youíre interested in and one of them is going to be your target. The most important thing to do now is that unless they start flirting with you; for godís sake donít try to pick them up. Wherever you are there should be enough stuff to keep you from being bored (otherwise I doubt you would have chosen it) but your job right now is to be a nice friendly person and preferably to stand out from the crowd enough that people want to get to know you.

    The reason for this is that if you just walk in and try to pick up a girl people will see straight through you and youíll become Ďthat guyí. Nobody likes Ďthat guyí because heís not there to have fun, heís there to be a selfish prick, so donít be him. However being too passive can present its own problems, fading into the background and just becoming another person, youíll wind up stuck with a hobby you didnít want.

    However all these social reasons aside, you donít immediately pick up because you might need to change your plan, picking up a girl will commit you to them, succeed or fail. If you have to move on to someone they know word will get around that you tried to pick them up and presumably by this stage you failed and thatís not a good resume. If you did succeed in picking them up right off the bat, what the hell are you doing, you donít know this person yet? Whatís stopping them from going full crazy on you (and as they say in Australia ďnever shove your dick in crazyĒ)? how do you even know youíll actually like them? You have to give things a little time to grow and develop at a natural pace. Moving quickly is fine but if you move on a girl you donít know itís bad for both of you. You might as well have picked your girlfriend at random.

    Now you might be thinking but they were totally coming on to me, why do I have to turn them away? Well if they come on to you then itís all a different story, you donít have to turn them away but you should avoid commitment to them and that really depends on the person. Some girls are fine with a one night stand and if you get that well youíre walking away a winner, but if she comes onto you and wants to date you immediately, play it slow, it might not be best to turn her away but you donít know her yet and it kind of sinks into high school dating, you are testing each other out instead of being in a relationship (donít sleep around during this testing each other out, thatís called being a douchebag and itís probably best not to stick your dick in her either, not until youíve decided you want to be at least a little serious).

    Some girls want to come onto you but need you to notice the subtle hints (statistics show that girls almost always initiate such things, itís just guys are too dumb and wrapped up in their own penises to notice). Throw a few flirts around when you can get away with it if you think a girl is receptive, if nothing happens back up and revert to your normal tactics, if they flirt backÖ well lucky you, donít screw it up.

    So when actually talking to them and the group the goal is to be a little sleazy (mild innuendo is fine, however this really depends on the society you are in) so that your target keeps sex somewhere in their mind, get some really, really terrible jokes to tell people (Where does a werewolf live: in a warehouse) because people will laugh behind their groans. Other self-depreciating humour is good as well, as people who can make fun of themselves have good self-esteem and good self-esteem is a turn on. Keep a smile on your face because people like hanging around people who are having fun. One of the worst things you can do is to be unpleasant.

    The final advice here is to be assertive when you can, make it a bit of a joke but wild claims and accusations can not only set you apart from the group but get you a head start in relationships. Channel your inner Nunu (After finding my target I declared ownership of them after beating them at soul calibre, I had deduced that the target was a glomper, as am I, so I required them to hug me on sight for the rest of the convention). Use your weapons to win the day!
    Last edited by Nunu; 3rd April 2012, 14:12.
    It's hard to take the high ground when you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

    Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

    Step 4: Abort!

    Things are not going to go perfectly, you might hope things go well for you and you walk in immediately pull d6 girls and live happily ever after but that’s not how the real world works. Sooner or later you are going to have to abort. Maybe your target turns out to have a boy/girlfriend (rare is the girl who has a girlfriend and is willing to also have a boyfriend. You may not know this but bisexuals are as committed to their significant others as anyone else), maybe you haven’t managed to make friends with the girl or they turn out to not really be your type after all or they friend zone you or finally, you find a better target. Don’t be afraid to abort, but that doesn’t mean all your effort goes to a loss.

    The most ideal form of abort is to change your target, you’ve made good friends with the girl but for one reason or another it’s not quite working out, the girl becomes a resource. Girls tend to have other girls as friends, because those other girls are friends with your original target that means they are likely to have things in common, making more possible targets for you. If the original target likes you enough she may even be your wingman, allowing easy access to these other girls. But because you didn’t commit yourself to your original target (because you took my advice about not trying to immediately pick them up) you suffer little to no blowback for any further actions. Making friends has no downside as you are now part of their circle which is probably a target rich environment.

    However sometimes you screw something up or you fail to make friends with the girl or her boyfriend doesn’t like you being around and you just have to start things over. The only thing you can get from what’s happened is lessons on what not to do next time. The most important thing to do is learn what went wrong and how you can do better. The second most important thing is that even when you are excusing yourself from the hobby group (or whatever, other friendships you can just let fade away) keep a god damned smile on your face.

    You never know when having a good reputation will come back around, maybe the girl will lose her boyfriend and remember you, even if this doesn’t mean you get together you can flip this write off into a resource. Never ever burn a bridge (Crazy people are exceptions to this as they play by their own rules). This is especially important in small communities as you will have limited places to check, sooner or later targets circles will bump into each other and if those people only have good things to say then you are in a winning position.

    Step 5: Commit Yourself

    There isn’t much to say here, after a little while of you being friends, keep up some innuendo and when the time is right ask them out. Most of the time though things will probably just grow into dating before you make it official anyway, but try not to be ignorant about it, if you don’t know you’re dating when you both ‘might as well be dating’ you can really put your foot into it. If something goes wrong the mutual dump can leave you distraught for months.

    If you find yourself in a situation where you are comfortable what’s happening, make sure the one thing you do is keep talking to her. If you stop communicating that is the first step towards disaster. Talking to each other, even if it means you have to abort when you could be enjoying a tenuous friends with benefits arrangement can defuse a bomb that is far better in the long run, or even the short run depending on situation.

    Case Study: Nunu at University
    After almost a year of friends with benefits relationship the other person decided to break up with me, only they forgot to tell me about it and instead just refused to engage me in conversation. After the most depressing year of my life I finally broke up with me for them and spent another year finding it hard to function as a human being.
    During this time I got close to another person who I completely screwed it up with because I was an emotional mess. As a result I was no longer welcome in either of their circles.
    This problem would have been completely averted by some form of communication preceding their decision not to be with me anymore (officially declaring dating or officially breaking it off), or even at any stage after, which might have allowed the second relationship work.

    Weapons of Love: And a Few Other Terms

    These tactics and terms can help clear things up a bit or give you ideas how you want to act, but something you must always remember is that you can’t really change who you are. While it may be attractive to don the mask of the smiler, if it doesn’t come naturally you can very easily turn creepy and that can end in the bad kind of abort.

    Generally people don’t like arrogant people, they’re annoying. But it can still be used to your advantage because a measure of arrogance shows good self-esteem (too much shows low self-esteem). If you are naturally arrogant try to curb it with some self-depreciating humour so you can boast but if someone fights you on it just take the hit and pretend to sulk, don’t fight back.

    Backup Target:
    In all likelihood you will fail and have to abort and that’s why it’s okay to have backup targets, however backup targets are also your responsibility! Because you haven’t committed yourself to anyone, keeping some people even on the back burner they may want to commit themselves to you. These are people and they have emotions that you need to be considerate and more importantly aware. You do not work on a backup target like you do a normal target you just be sure to stay out of their friend zone and try to be okay friends. What is most important is that every now and then you have to say or do something unappealing to them so they don’t accidentally fall in love with you. If they do fall in love with you, well then it’s time to take responsibility.

    Bridge Burning:
    The act of permanently severing a friendship, don’t ever do it as the people effected will have a bad opinion of you, which is not useful to you in any way. If you become estranged there may be a time when you can come back or the group becomes relevant in some way you can rebuild things pretty easily and that is good for you.

    Body Language:
    Don’t rely on yours so much unless you can really control it, but remember to always pay attention to theirs. Its simple things like if they sit next to you if given the chance or how often they glance your way. Individually these things don’t mean much so don’t get your hopes up but if they become frequent then you are in with a shot.

    Center of Attention:
    In most groups there will be one person that tends towards being the center of attention for everyone in a group. They may be the prettiest person in the group or just the person with the bounciest personality that draws everyone together or any combination of these and other things (the only girl in a group of guys is almost universally the center of attention). Being the center of attention effect different people different ways, some people get high on their own charisma and turn into oblivious jerks or become similarly shallow. Others may become jaded because of all the attention directed towards them (attempting to ‘fix’ such people with more attention is probably a bad idea, you’d have a better chance with just being their friend). These personality changes need to be accounted for but more importantly anyone who targets the center of attention will draw the attention of the entire group. Once everyone’s attention is on you if you screw anything up they are all going to know about it (possibly leading to the bad kind of abort), making centers of attention high risk and difficult targets. People don’t appreciate being targeted after you have failed with the center of attention because they will know they are your second choice. Becoming the center of attention is not necessarily a bad thing as you will theoretically have your pick of people in the group (you’re a pack alpha) but remember two things about that, firstly you probably don’t have good enough actual self-esteem to realise you are the center of attention (although if you did get there you’re probably real good at pretending to be happy) and secondly, theoretically having your pick of people is very, very different to actually having your pick of people. If you mismanage your power as center of attention you will start loosing friends.

    Change Them:
    Worse than changing yourself, if you are involved with a person that you have to change (I don’t mean mould a little, I mean you would have to change their personality for the relationship to work) take a step back and get involved with someone else instead.

    Change Yourself:
    A bad idea, you are who you enjoy being. Allow them to stroke things you are interested in and let those grow but don’t let them mould you into something you’re not. Similarly don’t lie about who you are, it’s going to end in disaster and I will personally hate you.

    Something you can never afford to stop doing once you’ve committed yourself to a person. Now communication isn’t just the act of talking to a person, I mean you need to actually check you are fulfilling their desires and making them happy. If you don’t communicate and just start taking your partner for granted you are heading for one hell of a bad end.

    Use them. I don’t care if you prefer the feeling of bareback, if she isn’t insisting on going without slap a rubber on. If you give her a cream pie that she will be remembering for the next few decades just because you were a bit forceful with what you wanted… well go die in a fire. If you are planning on using them carry at least 3, not for use at once but sex tend happen in clumps, even on a one night stand you’ll have sex a few times and you can hardly just reuse the one. In case you’re wondering withdrawal is a really shitty method of birth control.

    Typing someone’s name into Google sounds pretty creepy as you can find out so many things about them that you aren’t supposed to know, but it’s not a bad idea. You aren’t going to turn up at their house and peer through their bedroom window, you are finding out what they like topics to talk about that you know they will find interesting. Don’t magically start liking everything they do, that’s creepy and also means there are less things they can teach you that you may be interested in (that shows interest in them, which is good). But if you find their deviant art and it lists their likes, do some casual name drops of things you already had in common. Act like you kind of assumed they might be interested but you didn’t already know. While you’re at it check if they have a significant other so you can abort if necessary. Another thing to remember is that people can search for you to, so try to keep your online profile something that is helpful.

    Emotional Attachment:
    The greatest goal or your largest threat, emotions are a powerful force and will assault you from every direction. If you are dating someone these are good, they will help you know your commitments and all the other good stuff people write poems about. If you have a one night stand they are the exact opposite, forming an emotional attachment will result in pain as you figure out that they were just after a fun night and probably push you away if you try to start an actual relationship. Alternatively you could end up with a stalker after your one night stand if they develop emotions. This is why you never lie (even lies of omission) to yourself or the girl about what is happening if you are in it for the short term.

    Eye Humping:
    Something only to be done to people that you know want to sleep with you. Don’t do it to people you only think might want to sleep with you unless you are in a particularly sexual group. Never do it to people who you are only flirting with because you will come across as mega creepy.

    Friends with Benefits:
    There are a lot of people who insist that friends with benefits is only ever really a transient state between ending the friendship and dating. There is evidence to support this as far as I’m concerned but I don’t really see why that matters, you can both enjoy it while it lasts and as long as you remember to keep communicating disaster can be averted. The goal here is to only ever see the sex as a bonus, you are great friends with them and that’s really all that matters. You need to understand that one day the sex will end and hopefully you will be able to still keep a friend.

    How a Smiler seals the deal with someone (sealing the deal would be when you are pretty damn sure they’re into you and you want to move up to the next level), you do some grope that is so blatant that there can be no reason for it beyond them wanting to grope and they smile and say “sorry I tripped” which will be an equally blatant lie. The person you groped cannot believe them because of the sheer audacity of what they just did turns the grin from saying “Just kidding” into “I know exactly what I did and I did it on purpose”.

    No one likes a smelly person, shower before you go out, wash your hair, brush your teeth (if you are lax with oral hygiene you may need to brush your teeth frequently starting a day or two earlier. Preferably you just start brushing your teeth every day) and apply deodorant. It’s also not a bad idea to take some deodorant with you and if for some reason you think you might be getting a little smelly, go to a bathroom and clean your arm pits out and re-apply your deodorant (don’t clean yourself if you can’t put deodorant back on as it will wash what you already have off). Also pack some breath mints in just in case and be sure to stay away from foods that are smelly while you are trying to make a good impression, these are foods like curries and things that are heavy in garlic (garlic seeps out in your sweat). If you get scared also carry a toothpick at dinners and check your teeth in the bathroom.

    Feeding Information:
    The best way for a modest person to brag because it involves getting other people to brag for you while you act modest. Purposely leak information to gossips that reflects very well on you, but must be done modestly. Modest leaking of information is something along the lines “I only gave her like 2 orgasms, I just wish I could have done better like usual” and be sure to look down about it (to be more believable), normally gossips tend not to examine information to closely so that statement will be filtered through their brain and sent out throughout the entire circle that you are good in bed. However because such things need to have a basis in truth actually using that particular statement is unlikely to be of any use whatsoever unless you just had a one night stand that people know about you duplicitous bastard.

    Flirtatious Personality:
    A good thing to keep in mind, if you are just trying to be friends with people you are more likely to get friend zoned. If you keep them guessing (I don’t mean make them think you might be trying to pick them up, that’s cruel) as to exactly how you feel with some flirts every now and then, not only will they be more approachable because you are used to flirting with each other, they will find it harder to friend zone you because you are less like family.

    In virtually any environment flirting is how you will tell a person you are interested in them, or be told that they are interested in you. The most important part of flirting is to be mindful of you’re the circle you are in and what each person in it considers flirting or just playing around or unacceptable. Especially physical methods of flirting such as brushing against another person’s breasts (or brushing your breasts against them) can easily range between any of these depending on the person. If you are in doubt as to what they will find acceptable, play it safe, it’s a lot easier to step up the flirting than regain a person’s trust.

    Friend Zone:
    You’ve been assigned as a person they will never date or have sex with, great if you are planning on using someone as a resource, horrible if they’re the target. Something else to note is that you don’t get friend zoned out of spite or anything similar, maybe you are just too important a person to them to risk on a relationship that could end badly or they are an emotional wreck and not interested in a relationship. There are ways out but they are sexually aggressive or confessions and can very easily end in disaster. On rare occasions it is possible for a girl to de-friend zone you but it’s not something you should hold your breath over (holding your breath over this will result in heart break and a lot of whining, which results in a loss of friends), but if you are supportive enough the time just might come.

    Case Study: Chibi and her Man
    When Chibi met her current boyfriend she was not in an emotional condition to begin a relationship so she friend zoned all her suitors. Eventually though she removed her boyfriend from the friend zone and they have been happily dating ever since.

    Last edited by Nunu; 23rd March 2012, 02:50.
    It's hard to take the high ground when you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.


      Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

      Making Them Want It:
      Once you’ve found your target and there a bit into you, its generally best not to immediately take them into a back room and impregnate them / be impregnated / get aids. Let emotions and lust build up a bit so that when you do have sex it will be more passionate (which is part of what makes it good and while men may not ‘charge up’ as it were, women certainly do). This is particularly important in ongoing relationships, after you two have decided to have sex and you spend a few days doing nothing else but, you’ll find your libido’s start to wane. It is important not to have as much sex as possible but to still be sexy towards each other so that when you do meet you will want to have sex. Even as the sex peters off this shows another reason to be friends first and foremost, so that you can enjoy each other’s company instead of just each other’s bodies.

      Very powerful if done correctly, but well known for being abused because of its intimacy. See Nunu’s massage primer. If a girl lets you massage her feet she probably is planning on sleeping with you in the near future (baring obvious exceptions like people who’ve friend zoned you), but never take it as a given. Never announce that you massage openly as you will come across as creepy, you need to work it in on the side and its best not to suggest just out of the blue to give someone a massage as that’s also pretty creepy. If they are rolling their shoulders you can ask if they are okay and then if they need a massage, but best is if you have a wingman that’s a girl and you give her a massage while she suggests to other girls to try it out.

      Modest people don’t brag, and people like people who don’t spend their time bragging or otherwise measuring their penises (girls have metaphorical penises). Modest people generally have good self-esteem because they don’t need to inflate it by bragging about everything. Modest and arrogant aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive and if balanced correctly can be very good as you get the maximum apparent self-esteem from both.

      Non-Threatening Flirts:
      These are things that don’t appear outwardly sexual but are more provocative than normal flirting. If you know massage this is the greatest example, something intimate but completely benign. Joking declarations of ownership are surprisingly flirtatious even if you don’t ask them to do anything (like get you a drink). Although while I say flirtatious they are more a sign of trust but a person who trusts you more is closer to dating you.

      One Night Stand:
      Short term fun, for all parties concerned. Find a place to go off and have sex, then have the best sex you are capable of and then try to forget about it. Finding a person to have casual sex with like this can be difficult, especially if you are using the methods of finding people previously detailed. Sooner or later though, as you meet more and more people, you are going to bump into someone who’s not averse to a quick fling and you are kind of into. If you are not attached or are in an open relationship, then go for gold (but use protection for god’s sake, depending on the situation it may also be prudent to ask around about the persons reputation and any possible diseases) but remember, it’s just for one night and you can’t guarantee that they will be asking for your number at any stage. As with all such intimate things it is possible that emotional attachments may form and in this circumstance this is generally a bad thing. Be sure that you both understand (both includes you, people lie to themselves a lot more than they admit, ironically) before anything happens that this is just a short term thing. Then if you were in an open relationship be sure to tell your partner about it (unless they asked not to know). Also guys, don’t let these go to your head, you didn’t get laid because of your silver tongue and wittily negotiating your way into her pants, she wanted you in her pants all along and you just managed not to say anything stupid enough to make her leave (take note of this, if you are on the way to a one night stand one of the smartest things you can do is keep your mouth shut unless the situation specifically calls for talking, this will minimise your chance of screwing up which is best for both of you, because as I said, if this is happening she wants your penis inside her).

      Open Relationship:
      What guys dream about until they realise they won’t have their girl all to themselves. It’s basically the agreement to sleep around but you will only ever ‘love’ each other. I’ve seen a few that worked (as in it took them a few years to break up, but that’s much the same for any relationship) so this is possible depending on who you are. I can’t really say about any hard and fast rules of relationships because every person is different, so be sure to keep up communication so you know just what your partner is expecting.

      As it turns out girls have really sensitive noses, if you are in the mood for sex they can smell it (it comes from your pits). This then gets them in the mood for sex and some girls quite like it. Not particularly easy to make useful or effective but it might help to know. You’ll know you’re putting them out if your cock is hard.

      Pretty People:
      Some people just look really good and that’s just great, don’t let it shake you though. Just because a person is pretty doesn’t mean they are a better target than who you’re currently after. In fact if a pretty person turns up you lose trust between people if you change target to them when they notice you being superficial. If you have to choose between people, well you probably shouldn’t sacrifice anything for looks, but if they are otherwise equal it’s always better if they’re easier on the eyes (never convince yourself that looks count for anything when judging people though). One problem is that when around pretty people you will tend to lie to yourself about how you rate their personality, acknowledge this and account for it.

      This is what you will spend most of your time building up, having a good reputation will aid you immensely when you decide on your target. The common logic is that reputations are hard to build and easy to destroy and that may be true if you start waving your genitals around in front of your target because you’re bored. For the rest of us normal (ish) people while reputation will always take time to build, it is not necessarily hard. Being an entertaining person that stands out of the crowd for some reason (not a big reason but so that people have something to talk about when you are a topic of conversation) will just have your reputation build itself. Although being an interesting person might be difficult, you don’t need to do a huge amount. Those horrible jokes like a mentioned earlier, that trip overseas… just cruise around the internet and pick up some obtuse trivia. Similarly, reputation isn’t that easy to destroy. Your friends will tend to have an innate trust in you so a few mistakes or anything will be looked over. More or less anything you do that is minor or has a decent excuse is fine, as long as you don’t start cheating on someone you are going to be fine.

      Self-Depreciating Humour:
      These are jokes you make that you are also the target of. People who can make these and smile through them have good self-esteem and generally the jokes are pretty funny to.

      Self-esteem is one of the most important aspects of attempting to get not only a girl but friends in general. Regardless of how you actually feel about yourself appearing to have high self-esteem is an important skill in life and in getting laid. It might not get you into bed with someone on its own but being a downer can definitely stop you. Charismatic people almost universally appear to have high self-esteem, no matter how depressed they actually are.

      Self Improvement:
      If you’ve read the entry on changing yourself then you know its not something I encourage, It will only end in pain. That being said there is no reason why you can’t be a better you. The best part is you won’t even really need to try to become better, it will just happen most of the time when you find a person you are interested in. Most commonly you will start dressing better and taking more stringent hygiene routines . You can grasp this impetus to make yourself a more desirable mate though to empower other aspects of your life and I strongly suggest you do. After all, if you accidentally wind up with a better job or something because you are trying to impress someone, is that such a bad thing?

      Sluts and Players:
      Another regrettable part of our society is that women who sleep with lots of people are looked down upon and men who sleep around are looked up to. I have noticed this becoming less common but hardly unknown. This is another situation where I would like to have an opinion but every group is different, all I can say is that you should be true to who you are and enjoy yourself. Regardless of gender if you sleep around you need to be honest about how you feel to your partner. If that means you have a different partner every night then stuff what everyone else thinks (I’d call them a player, guy or girl, you like sex and you’re having it), of if you have a committed relationship to one person then that’s just as good. On the other hand if you convince yourself you are in love with a 3 different people at a time that change every week, then you need a serious wakeup call (I call these people sluts if they’re girls and assholes if there guys, as some guys are stupid enough to think that man slut is a compliment).

      Do it, unless you have a legitimate reason for feeling like shit, always try to smile. People like being around happy people and if you keep your smile up people will think you’re happy. This doesn’t mean you need to be smiling 100% of the time, you’ll hurt your face, but try not to be a downer. Downers don’t get invited to parties. This is really the only part of this entire thing where I encourage lying, because in this world, most of us aren’t happy most of the time.

      The Smiler:
      A personal favourite of mine, things you do and say will be on or near the persons line of what is and isn’t acceptable, be sure to keep a mischievous grin on your face so you can pretend something that didn’t go down so well was a joke. This is more than just an odd tactic; it must be committed to, part of who you are, people around you need to be able to dismiss anything wrong that you do as just you being you because of that grin you’ve got. People generally don’t get angry at the Smiler despite what they do or where they touch as long as they’re not to game. Tends to only work well in groups where physical contact is reasonably common. Caution, sometimes being the smiler will attract the attention of people other than your target and that can really throw a wrench into the works.

      The best way to do pretty much anything. Some people think it’s dishonest to manipulate people with passive aggressive tactics (encouraging people to think up ideas you have put in their heads) but quite frankly it makes people easier to deal with and if you’re reading this you probably need all the help you can get (even though actually doing so can be difficult). Some benefits of this are that it is a filter for your ideas, they won’t voice anything they don’t agree with, allowing you to be a little more game with your suggestions because you won’t receive the negative repercussions. That being said, some people are very easy to manipulate with these tactics and don’t abuse that by making them agree to things beyond what they are comfortable with, it would make you a bad person.

      Your target is the person you are currently aiming at becoming a significant other of. For the most part until you are ready to make your move your main goal is to stay out of their friend zone whilst becoming as good a friends as possible. You have chosen this person because they fulfil the criteria you set out for yourself for someone who’s company you can enjoy. You should only ever have one target at a time; having more than one target almost universally ends up in you losing both and everyone thinking you are a two timing douchebag. Even at its best having two targets will leave you and them emotionally torn and unable to commit yourself to either. Sometimes you won’t even notice that you suddenly have two targets, you find yourself unable to choose so you work on both of them. The easiest way to tell if you have fallen into this position is that you are sitting somewhere wracking your brain about whether to do something with person A because you are worried person B might find out about it and misunderstand. If that happens you need to pick someone and be responsible.

      Tits McGee:
      A person who blinds people with her breasts or other features and doesn’t have the personality to back it up. Do not get distracted by these people, they are false targets and will not make you happy for anything past a one night stand (and perhaps should not even be risked on that, on the off chance you develop an emotional attachment). Remember that while Tits McGee may have an awesome rack, if you try to have a conversation with them about anything you care about, you’ll want to kill yourself by the end of it (assuming you were listening to what she said instead of staring at her assets). On some occasions the pretty ones may also be legitimate targets, but stay objective about that, don’t factor their looks into your decision.

      Having more than one significant other, or having a significant other and another target. Unless you have an extremely understanding partner (you will know because they encourage you to bring other people into bed with them) this will end in tragedy.

      A person who sticks by your side for the purpose of encouraging your target to get closer to you. Because people other than you are a much more trustworthy source of information than you (especially if they are of the same gender as your target), wingmen work well when you want to move up from friend or acquaintance to something more. In the strategy detailed here wingmen are not useful when meeting people as you are intruding on someone else’s group which will make you feel uncomfortable and having a wingman around will result in you clinging to them, which is a large hindrance. Wingmen of your gender are not as trustworthy to the target and at worst they can inadvertently steal the target (homosexuals are exceptions) but be wary of using a person of the opposite gender (probably a mutual friend zone) as people can think you are dating.

      Sex: Makes them go Ahhh

      It doesn’t matter who you are or what side of this you are coming from (hur hur hur) being good in bed can really help cement a relationship and its good for everyone’s self-esteem. Also as it turns out it feels really good.

      No matter who you are, the first step in being good in bed is a good knowledge of anatomy, this is why Wikipedia exists. The clinical approach might not be what people would normally think of but if you know the trends of where nerves are and what areas are sensitive you can skip a lot of trial and error with what you are doing. Also because every person (which is the first thing any woman will tell a man who asks) is different if you’ve only gotten information from one person (whether that be practical or theoretical information) you could be skewed in the wrong direction. Also because every person, man and woman, is different I’m not going to go into individual techniques but instead some general things.

      All that being said, don’t be ashamed to ask what your partner likes or if they are enjoying something, the goal is for everyone to feel as good as possible and you can’t do that if you don’t know what they like. This especially goes if you are in a relationship instead of a one night stand because if it’s just the night you will have to ask them what they like during the act and that kind of throws the flow off a bit, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile. If you are dating the person or are friends with benefits you can afford to debrief each other after the act you will be surprised how much you learn and how much better you will get at pleasing each other after only one or two times. I once used actual scoring sheets and I learned a tremendous amount because it forced me to look not just at where I was good but every aspect of my performance.

      Secondly response during sex is very important, moans and grunting and squeals give your partner important information about what they’re doing not to mention being quite sexy. While some men think these auditory responses are important just for the girl, they are also important from the male, because, believe it or not guys, if a girl is having sex with you she derives pleasure not just from her vagina but from making you happy so a dull moan as she does something just right can be incredibly attractive to her just as her uncontrollably clawing at your back mid climax can be for you. Be sure to let out some noise or movement when your partner is pleasing you and be sure to double it when they do it just right.

      When you are finished make sure you’ve got a large bottle of water somewhere, as you’ll both be thirsty and it might just be me but I kind of enjoy sharing a drink with someone after I’ve slept with them. Similarly don’t run off on your partner, try to cuddle a bit because it will show that you care and there isn’t a downside to showing that you enjoyed yourself enough to stay with them for a few minutes (this is a good time to tell them all the best parts of sex which will make them feel good about themselves, because as I’ve said people want to make their partners feel good and acknowledging they achieved that feels good).

      Sex: I Swear I Normally Last at Least 7 Nano Seconds

      This is a bit for guys to understand how female orgasms work a little better and also to acknowledge that premature ejaculation is okay, girls don’t mind anywhere near as much as you do (especially if you employ the trick I describe in a bit). Giving a girl one orgasm is good, depending on the girl that might be the turning point of calling sex a net gain (in one night stand terms anyway), but as you all know women are capable of orgasming multiple times and managing that correctly can improve your performance a lot. Another small note is that re-enacting scenes from porn will not lead to fun as those positions are designed to look good not feel good, re-enacting scenes from hentai is generally not possible.

      Firstly it takes a while for girls to build up to orgasm and generally the longer you build that up the better the orgasm (don’t however assume this means you can go low quality sex for two hours then expect a screaming orgasm, you still have to work at it). Spend your time and do foreplay properly, stroke her and kneed her and do all the other things she likes, and then put your penis in her. If you’ve gotten this far I’m going to assume you are capable of giving a girl an orgasm, you use whatever methods she likes best after she reaches her first orgasm don’t just stop, continue to work her through the orgasm so she gets the best feeling from it (think of it like star power in guitar hero, x4 points during the orgasm). Then the next orgasm will be significantly easier to reach so keep at your best for as long as you can, she should be very pleased by the time you are exhausted (generally you can ignore any of her calls to stop because she’s exhausted, but don’t gamble your relationship on a generally if you aren’t sure).

      Now, some men just can’t last some times, and that’s not fun for anyone. If you work all this way and get the girl of your dreams into bed only to cum after a few seconds, despair not, Nunu has a solution. Keep working your penis and after a few minutes you should be able to get it up again (or depending on circumstance it might never go soft), your penis has now transformed into an indestructible rod of pleasure (theoretically). Now some men also get a super sensitive penis just after orgasm so if needs be a rest for a few minutes can be factored in. Because you won’t be capable of cuming again for a while you can take this time to give back to your woman all the pleasure she just gave you (and you will probably enjoy it as well). For this reason it’s good to keep at least 3 condoms on you if you plan on having sex, assuming of course that you are using protection, which you should unless you can guarantee she is on the pill (and sometimes use it anyway) or are trying to get her pregnant (which you probably shouldn’t be).

      Finally there are some things that you might ask your partner to do that they just won’t me cool with. There are some girls out there that just feel sick at the thought of putting your penis in their mouths, let alone swallowing your semen. You should be supportive of this and don’t ever mock her for it (or put your penis in her mouth while she’s sleeping to ‘train’ her, not just for ethical reasons but because it could end in disaster).

      So now that you've pleased your woman and she has hopefully enjoyed it, you will be likely to roll over and fall asleep, because you are a man and biologically predisposed to do so (I mean that literally, although don’t take my word as gospel on that). Probably half way through the night you are going to wake up and decide that boobs are just too good to pass up and go for a grope. This will generally result in an awake girl. Unlike you when women get aroused they tend to find it hard to fall asleep so if they really wanted that sleep they will not be happy. This means that if they didn’t need that sleep they may be receptive to you putting your penis in her again, if this is the case it’s your job not to disappoint and make her tired enough to sleep. Just keep your wits about you and you may get some midnight nookie, but try to evaluate things on a case by case basis in case there not in the mood and if in doubt keep your hands to yourself.
      Last edited by Nunu; 3rd April 2012, 01:43.
      It's hard to take the high ground when you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.


        Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

        nunu ^^ i have never came during sex with my partner...halp please?

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          Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

          Be sure to reasure your partner that you still enjoy sex with them, win or lose, cos their self esteem is gonna be taking hits.

          Otherwise the only non joking advice i have for you is to try blue balling yourself, for like a week or something. Also during that week don't try to avoid inuendo or porn, you want to be craving sex like you need it to live. Then try new positions, if what you're doing isn't working try something different. If such basic advice is to low a level keep in mind i'm working on the information that your penis is hard to please and thats about it.

          Also you seriously thought it was a good idea to draw my gaze when you have two accounts here? Shame on you.
          It's hard to take the high ground when you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.


            Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

            There's nothing in here on how to inspire a woman to sexually assault you; is this incomplete?


              Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

              D'aww, all you have to do is ask, Raptor!


                Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

                This took too long to write to be so slightly commented on
                Let's debate!

                Being flirty and assertive, very much correct.
                Friends with Benefits - Not dating. No idea how you confuse the two. Also, nothing wrong with it. Generally quite nice, actually. But only if it's not "dating" and "seeing each other". It should be "regular friends who have sex". Different thing. You can be sleeping with multiple people and not have any issue. That's what makes it friends with benefits. You are not dating. Nor monogamous.
                Self deprecating humor - Rarely. In very, very small and well timed amounts.

                Purposely leak information to gossips that reflects very well on you, but must be done modestly. Modest leaking of information is something along the lines ďI only gave her like 2 orgasms, I just wish I could have done better like usualĒ
                This is a terrible idea. Then you end up with the reputation of the guy who tells everyone you're sleeping together. Girls tend to prefer discretion. The more likely they think they're going to be labeled as sleeping with you, the more pause they take before doing it.
                that statement will be filtered through their brain and sent out throughout the entire circle that you are good in bed.
                Not how you do it. You fuck her well and go out for a morning meeting with one of her talkative friends. She will pick up on it. So you're half right. You want the info spread, but not from your own mouth. This is a terrible idea. Further, if it's not true, it will get the reverse reaction. I have always had more female friends and word gets back to the girlfriend. If it's not true, she will boldly tell everyone who listens that his dick is small and he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. That's partially punishment for spreading the sex rumors in the first place. I'm amazed that you've never heard this exact sort of thing happen... a lot.

                Friend Zone: This is a myth. There is no "friend zone" only "lack of attraction". It has nothing to do with time or anything else. A friend can be open to dating you after knowing you for years. On the other hand a women you spoke to for five minutes may have already "friend zoned" you - because you're not attractive to her.

                Lying: Donít - So not true. Be fun and it doesn't matter how much you lie and about what. This is a fact.
                Making Them Want It: - Very true
                Massage: - Very, very true.
                Open Relationship: - Works if you're truly self confident. Which is probably why no woman likes the idea, because none of them are.

                Oh and you talk about changing targets a lot. Though I like your repudiation of being stuck on one girl that. is. not. into. you. I disagree that it need be only one target. As a matter of fact, I suggest any guy even after getting a girl, continue flirting with other women and get their numbers, *especially* when with your GF. Nothing gets your GF up for a wild fuck like showing her you have other options
                Self Improvement: +1
                Sluts and Players: Nothing wrong with being passionate. Sometimes the hottest flames burn out the quickest.
                because in this world, most of us arenít happy most of the time.
                That kinda sucks. I actually am and most of my friends are(or at least I *think* they are). I guess I agree you need to smile a little, but walking around with a big grin on your face all the time makes people think you're weird or dumb.

                Subtlety: Mostly agree.
                Tits McGee: Sounds like a legit friends with benefits candidate
                Sex: Makes them go Ahhh: Yes
                Sex: I Swear I Normally Last at Least 7 Nano Seconds: Most guys suck in bed. That's a fact. Getting her off even once every time puts you in the top 1/4 of her previous lovers(maybe higher if she's pretty young).


                  Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

                  why do you think I've been so busy and not making new stuff?


                    Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

                    Wall-o-text ><. But was very informative. Thanx.

                    RPG Maker Games (Ariadne, Bitch Police, Creature Hunter, Drop Factory, Hunter Quest, Lilipalace, Magica, Strategist Annelitte, Tsumire on the Curious Isle, Valkyrie Production)
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                    RPG Maker Tools (All Decrypter, NTLEA, VX, VX Ace, Wolf Editor)
                    Chiitrans Lite Translation software.


                    TGFS games I track and would recommend: ... scriptions

                    Would strongly recommend LT for those big CoC/FoE/TiTS fans.


                      Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

                      Originally posted by Nunu View Post

                      No matter who you are, the first step in being good in bed is a good knowledge of anatomy, this is why Wikipedia exists. The clinical approach might not be what people would normally think of but if you know the trends of where nerves are and what areas are sensitive you can skip a lot of trial and error with what you are doing. Also because every person (which is the first thing any woman will tell a man who asks) is different if youíve only gotten information from one person (whether that be practical or theoretical information) you could be skewed in the wrong direction. Also because every person, man and woman, is different Iím not going to go into individual techniques but instead some general things.
                      So true..., maybe add that stimulating different and uncommon nerval points while climaxing can lead to even higher highs!
                      Be indifferent to where you live.


                        Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

                        Have to double down on that point about hygiene. Everything up there is important, but hygiene is the ultimate in first impressions. Fail that and all other advice winds up being kinda useless, regardless of how impressive you might otherwise be.


                          Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl



                            Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

                            Originally posted by Sexums View Post
                            Have to double down on that point about hygiene. Everything up there is important, but hygiene is the ultimate in first impressions. Fail that and all other advice winds up being kinda useless, regardless of how impressive you might otherwise be.
                            Ye, so getting dirty does not mean you should literally get dirty !
                            Lack of hygiene is a buzz-kill!
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                              Re: Nunuís Guide to Getting You Dateless Bastards a Girl

                              I'm socially awkward at times, especially around girls (the pretty ones as you mentioned are the worst), even around other guys off of the Internets it usually takes me some time to warm up, talk about stuff, make jokes and the likes. I think one of my main issues is like you said my brain is obviously being lad by my dick, and I have sex on the brains- likely WAY more than is healthy ^_^;;. So I find it hard to think straight to talk without shoving my foot so far up my mouth I gag on it; and usually clam up and become a wallflower. My main target would most likely be a fellow nerd, or someone relatively nerdy. A fellow otaku, gamer, theater nerd, or something similar. Someone who shares my same interests- at the very least to some extent. Someone who is somewhat more talkative to me but wont yak the ears off a brass monkey and never let me get a word in. I also admit to having three big strikes against me- I currently live at home with my folks, I can't drive myself at the time, and am currently unemployed. So my self-confidence is sadly lacking somewhat.

                              Do you have any advice or suggestions on how I can overcome my shyness and awkwardness to begin seriously looking for girls/women to date?

                              Perfection is humanly impossible. The more you reach for it the farther away it grows. Failure is inherited to our species as a whole. But punishing ourselves and beating ourselves up for it helps nothing. The best any decent person can do is try, and try, and try again. And try to get better little by little day by day.