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Epic Quotes


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"You cannot drink beer, eat chips and read at the same time. Because when you eat the chips, it makes so much noise that you can't hear the little voice inside your head that reads out loud for you."
My Sergeant on eating and drinking while studying for tests. :D
 
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JOHN: when i catch up with our buddies, i'm sure i will give rose a nice, FRIENDLY hug.
JOHN: whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs.
 
Re: Epic Quotes

Mostly though, the agenda I sympathize with the least is the publishers. What is the point of slapping a 90s tactical shooter's name recognition on a generic modern shooter if most people who like generic modern shooters won't remember the name, and the people who do remember the name will want to set your office on fire? You won't endear yourself offering to rape my mum for fifty bucks!

Ben "Yatzhee" Croshaw - Zero Punctuation - Syndicate
 
Re: Epic Quotes

I... was feeling a bit nostalgic when I looked these gems up...

"The world is veiled in darkness. The wind stops, the sea is wild, and the earth begins to rot. The people wait, their only hope, a prophecy... 'When the world is in darkness Four Warriors will come...' After a long journey, four young warriors arrive, each holding an ORB."

"You spoony bard!"

"First of all, your beauty has captivated me! Second... I'm dying to know if I'm your type... I guess your ...abilities... would be a distant third."

"No, Mr. Thou is THAT one. Over THERE!"

"'Wait,' he says. Do I look like a waiter?"

"There ain't no gettin' offa this train we on!"

"Beacause, you are a puppet."

"You should have ruled this planet. You were stronger, smarter. But then they came, those inferior dullards... They came and took this planet away from you. But don't be sad, Mother. I am with you now. We meet at last... Mother."

"My name is Gato / I have metal joints / Beat me up / And earn fifteen silver points!"
 
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I love my friends sometimes...

When one of my pals finally had anal sex for the first time with a girl, and the girl storms out a few moments later muttering about how much of a geek he was. Apparently, when he stuck his penis up her anus, he started flipping out and shouting, "SHUT DOWN ALL TRASH COMPACTORS ON THE DETENTION LEVEL!" and then proceeds to giggle insanely like a giddy schoolgirl.
 
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Yeah, that's certainly not something I would want to hear during sex... I'd have walked out on him in her position.
 
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Saying that to a girl is a good way to lose your lightsaber.

EDIT: Or she could make him perform analingus... "Get in there! I don't care what you smell!"
 
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Re: Epic Quotes

"Are you questioning a mad man with a samurai sword?"

Saw this on a youtube video the other day, spoken by a computer voice with an english/british accent. (along with some other funny lines)

Made my day. XD

And if that wasn't weird enough for you, the title of the video is "The Birthday Sacrifice".

See for yourself if you want.
 
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You're a ninja, fruit is flying and fuck fruit!

Ben "Yatzhee" Croshaw - Zero Punctuation - Iphone Games
 
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THEN GO AHEAD! MAKE MY FUCKING DAY! IM READY FOR YOU. YOU THINK IM AFRAID? ILL TAKE YOUR BONER MAGIC LIKE A MAN! IM NOT ASHAMED! I WILL STAND TALL AND PROUD AT FULL MAST IN FRONT OF THIS PRETTY ALIEN! DO YOUR WORST YOU BASTARD!!!!!

Jake English.
 
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- Dan "Toasty" Forden
 
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if you keep punching holes in the definition of death your going to be dissected for real one of these days.

Excel Excel-Excel Sage
 
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"Break your arms, break your legs, and ask for a dance!"
 
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"Undaunted, I knew the game was mine to win. Just like in life, all of my successes depend on me. I'm the man who has the ball, I'm the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So that is why I am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick. Everyone."

Kenny Fucking Powers
 
Re: Epic Quotes

TT: The conductor is ready to strike up the band.
TT: Press your lips against mine and make it count.
TT: This severed head is your filthy tuba.
TT: Our love will be your haunting refrain.
GT: Whoa wait whoa whoa... our LOVE? Hang on a minute!
TT: Stfu and kiss me.
 
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"There is nothing quite like getting so much affection from a cephalopod, it is amazing!"
 
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"Live your life in such a way that the Westboro Baptist Church will want to picket your funeral" - On my friend's facebook wall yesterday
 
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