Epic Quotes

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

...Same thing about fat people, shut the fuck up for fuck sake. So fucking tired of the fat people who's like: "Yea, my obesity is a sickness" NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! It's not a fucking sickness, you're completly perfect! You eat more than you run, that's- that's the whole fucking mystery here, either change the first thing or the second and you will see changes guaranteed! "Stop it. I'm just bigboned" Oh really?! Which lies in folds outside the body?! That's... that's a really wierd skeleton you have there. "Cut it down, it is a sickness to be fat" But a little bit wierd sickness considering you have to pick medicine in a bag from McDonalds four times a day. It's like our people is ashamed that they are fat, our society is so foul, people is ashamed to be fat, what the hell, it is fine to be fat, if you're fat be proud about it. Fat people are the best- drunk fat people are the best are the best people. It means atleast that they have lived...

Magnus Betnér - Livets ord (Word of Life)

 

[fullmetal]

Re: Epic Quotes

Just because it's in cursive doesn't mean that it's deep.
-Unknown

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
-Unknown

Laugh at your problems. Everybody else does.
-Random LoL player to me

 

[Copper]

Re: Epic Quotes

"When you're fighting corpses in the undead horde and dragons and inter-dimensional, quasi-demonic space beasts that want to eat the world, suddenly, being queer isn't that daunting a problem. In fact, suddenly, it isn't a problem; it's a non-issue, y'know?" - Harry, from "Gaming in Color," speaking about how orientation kind of goes out the window when you're faced with other issues in games.

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

For those who don't know what bukkake is, it's like a porn video mixed with a yoghurt commercial.

Magnus Betnér

 

[fullmetal]

Re: Epic Quotes

Dream or reality, I don't know. It was my boyhood a long, long time ago; hidden in the spring blossoms of another day.
-Guts, from Berserk

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting the tomato in a fruit salad.
-MNONM

If someone were to harm my family or a friend somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.
-Johnny Depp

 

[XSI]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Adults are well practiced kindergartners."
-Anonymous

 

[cross_grave]

Re: Epic Quotes

OMGWTFBBQ: I am not a man. I am not sure what I am, and that gives me great pain and alienates me for some reason. All I know is that I have abilities I do not understand or truly control, but manage to surface and exert themselves with the perfect timing necessary to win every battle, intimidate every foe, and always get my way. Putting a word to my exact nature would invariably limit my obscene powers, so I prefer to keep things vague so that I am never criticized. I hope that someday this will earn me some nice and tight pussy.
Pipebomb: Wishful thinking faggot. She will be stretched like Dhalsim.
*beat*
Pipebomb: me so solly!
OMGWTFBBQ: How about some oral sex tips?
El Pinto Grande: Curve your lips over your teeth... this will prevent scraping the penis...
OMGWTFBBQ: ...why do you know that?
El Pinto Grande: I guess I just really love cock.

The entire conversation above has been directly quoted from Awful Fantasy, a Something Awful translation of FF6. The entire game is like this. I repeat: THE ENTIRE GAME IS LIKE THIS. Possibly the most WTF production I've ever seen. Also:

Todd: Karma is waiting to smack down my cruel, remorseless, fuckheaded ass, and when it happens the world will be a brighter place.

 

[leatherhead333]

Re: Epic Quotes

Yasha: [defeats Asura] Enough! We are bringing salvation to Gaea. As Priestess, Mithra has dedicated herself to the salvation of our world. You should be proud.

Asura: What did you say? Be proud, of Mithra suffering?

Yasha: Yes, and I will say it again: your daughter is devoted the cause in order to save the world!

Asura: Who do you think you are?

Yasha: God........

Asura: YASHA!

 

[Kusanagi]

Re: Epic Quotes

"I don't watch tennis. If I want to hear grunting, while fuzzy balls are flying around, I'll watch 70's porno."
-Craig Ferguson

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

JC: "Ah! Now Rich, would you like some Pussy?"

RH: "Well it wasn't on my mind right now, it is now."

JC: "Pussy, energy drink"

*Later Richard accidently burns some papers and Jeremy throws it into a pile that later burn the christmas tree*

RH: "THAT's WORSE!!"

JM: "You set fire to the tree?"

RH: "AHH THE TREE'S GOING UP!"

JC: "Stand back, stand back everybody."

RH: "I should suggest we move on?"

JC: "No seriously, I have to save the television you idiot!"

JM: "Pour some Pussy on it."

JC: "That's a good idea."

JC: "Yes! I put the christmas tree out with some Pussy."

Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond & James May - Top Gear

 

[MasterLord]

Re: Epic Quotes

"People seldom refuse help, if one offers it in the right way."
-A.C. Benson

 

[Unnatural Kiwi]

Re: Epic Quotes

"A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to be given a square deal afterwards." - Theodore Roosevelt

 

[Ranger Princess]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Oh that's okay. I'm not a puppet; I'm a Muppet. A puppet is actually controlled by a person, whereas I am an actual talking frog."

~Kermit the Frog

 

[fullmetal]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Your resistance only makes my penis harder."

-Horse from Words Worth

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Re: Epic Quotes

"What are you doing?" - Nilfgardian
"Killing monsters." - Geralt, before stringing the man in a noose.

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[theaq44]

Re: Epic Quotes

"War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other." - Nico Bellic, GTA IV

On a lighter note:

"I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. YOU Snag it!" - Harry Block, Evolution

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

Where the hell is my elephant?!

You killed my father, and you stole my elephant!

Kham - Tom Yum Goong/The Protector

 

[Iggy]

Re: Epic Quotes

My friend: "I just got a new video gaming mouse today."

My response:

 

[Zelzar]

Re: Epic Quotes

A girl once said "I likes dangerous dudes". So I like to answer that I have AIDS.

Aron Flam

 

[Jack archer]

Re: Epic Quotes

"Protect me cone!"

-Private Dexter Griff