Re: Catch all for my stuffles
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there's the music vid <3 )
“Cowboy Casanova”
The young girl that entered the rowdy Texas bar straightened her pink miniskirt and pulled down the oversized t-shirt that covered her ample cleavage. Her cottonmouth-skin cowboy boots clunked a little on the hardwood floor as she sauntered her way over to the bar, red glittery lipstick flashing in the smoky light.
The bartender took one look at the girl in front of him and snorted. Her blonde curls and blue eyes gave off an air that she was only 16, maybe 17. He looked right at her and asked for an id, she smiled prettily at him and pulled her driver’s license out of her shirt. The bartender took it and try as he might to prove it fake, it wasn’t. She’d turned 21 that day.
She leaned forward on the bar, giving anyone looking at her ass fleeting glimpses of pale pink lacy underwear, a few shades lighter than her skirt. She smiled at him again and said, “I’d like a beer, and none of that pussy stuff, I want a Lonestar.”
The bartender blinked in mild surprise at her request, before fetching a glass and filling it up from the tap. “You want a tab?” he asked in a voice that sounded like someone dragging a wet cloth over a gravel driveway.
She batted her eyelashes and said, “That would be perfect. I plan on making my way around the dance floor a few times before the night is over, and a little liquid courage never hurt.” She took a sip from her glass and eyed the other patrons of the bar before settling on one very handsome man leaning up against the record machine.
Another woman saw her eyeing the man and said, “Don’t do it honey. That man there is bad news, trust me. He’s a snake with blue eyes, and he only comes out at night.”
The blonde rolled her eyes at the older, redheaded woman, “How would you know? You’re old enough to be his mama. Doesn’t look older than me, and I just turned 21 today.”
The redhead narrowed her brown eyes, “Now you listen to me, that man is no good, and nothing good will come out of you talking to him. He’s been visiting this bar for around 5 years now and he’s never looked a day older than right now.” The middle aged woman shook her head, “If I’d have know what he would do when I brought him here you can be sure I never would.”
The blonde giggled again, “So you are his mama.”
“In a way.” The redhead shrugged, “Go with another man tonight honey, that one is just bad news.”
The blonde ignored her, and sauntered over to the handsome man. She took in his blonde hair, chiseled jaw, blue eyes, tan and muscles in a glance. Closer inspection brought his clothes into focus. A white Stetson, blue flannel top, whitewashed jeans, and gator skin boots finished off his wholesome, country feel. He smiled, without teeth and said in a polite voice, “What’s a purty thing like you doin in a bar like this?”
She giggled appreciatively and said, “Looking for a man to take a few turns with me out there, and then maybe come home for a few turns there.” She took a long swallow of her beer.
He raised his eyebrows and said, “Well why don’t we skip straight to the goin home part? That dance floor’s lookin mighty crowded.”
She looked him up and down and finished off her beer, “Alright.” Then she headed over to the bar, placed some money on it for the bartender and headed out the front door, the man following behind her.
“We can take my truck.” He said, pointing to a rusty pick-up that looks like it had once been powder blue.
She nodded, completely overwhelmed by this stranger.
They rode in silence to her place. She didn’t even wonder how he knew where she lived; only concentrating on getting this specimen of manhood home and in her bed. They stumbled up the stairs, shedding clothes while engaged in a lip-lock. When they tumbled, naked into bed together, he finally grinned with all his teeth. She stared in confused horror at the fangs in place of his canines, and anything she might have said was smothered with the force of his will.
The vampire sank his fangs into her neck and drained her past death. He patiently closed the wounds on her neck with a little of his blood like he’d been taught. Laying her out on the bed, in a regal position he flowed into the form of a rattlesnake and bit the dead woman's calf a few times, before slithering out into the desert and his daytime den.
Review it alright? I'd like grammar editing among other things. Tell me what you like, what needs more detail, and what needs less.