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My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

  • Completely. You went way too far with this rant.

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DarkFire1004

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Yeah, I'm probably a faggot for even doing this, but I'll be damned if I let my friend become another thing that I hate so much. It's my fault in the first place that he became like this, so it's time for me to fix it.

Let me give you the story. Once upon a time, I showed a friend my folder of /b/ shit. He thought it was hysterical and started to become more and more engrossed with /b/. But he didn't take the path that most of us took. No, he took the path of newfaggotry. Since then, he's started spewing out forced memes every chance he'll get, even in real life. I'm sick of his shit. He recently posted a thread where he used Paint to put a picture of another friend's head onto Rick Astley on /b/. The resemblance is actually a little uncanny, but that's beside the point. His newfaggotry stops here.

So here's my message I've written to him.



Okay... I'm going to say this. As calmly as I possibly can without raging uncontrollably. Stop. Your. Newfag. Shit. They. Are. Annoying. As. Fuck. There's a pretty broad line between real life and the internet. You don't fucking cross it because the two aren't supposed to mix.

I showed you these things because I thought you would've been a sensible person like millions of other people on the internet and maintain that balance between real life and the internet. Instead you just keep spewing forced memes out like crazy, thinking that the fact that others don't understand the jokes makes you better than others or "teh funneh guy".

Here's a good article in ED, which I'm sure by now you've already found and read through a bit:
Read through this. You know what I see when I read through this? You. I read descriptions of you. You are the pure definition of a newfag. You are, literally, the embodiment of fail.

You'll call me a hypocrite because I'm like you. I'm not. I keep my shit about the internet mostly to myself. You'll call me a faggot for taking the internet too seriously. I probably am. But it doesn't change the fact that you look and sound like, for lack of any other proper word, a douche. You probably think I'm just being a giant selfish ass who wants to keep all this /b/ shit to myself. I don't. That's why I shared it with you in the first place; because you seemed like you could keep your shit together when it came to this.

If you find all of this offensive, good. Because then that means it meant something to you. Of course, I don't expect this to even change you, because at this point in time, a newfag refuses to admit to being a newfag. In your eyes I'm being an annoying bitch. But in the end, this message really isn't to help you learn not to merge real life with the internet. It's pretty much for me to finally vent my anger of your newfag shit.

I'm not here to spew out my "profund knwlege on teh webz" and make myself seem like I know more about the internet than you do. At least, not intentionally. But there's a difference between making subtle references about /b/, and fullblown newfaggotry. So from the message of everybody from gaming forums, chatrooms, MMOs, FPSs, and the remnants of /b/, they all say "Shut the fuck up,"

By now, you're now just outright disagreeing with me and completely denying all that I've said. That's fine. At this point, I'm not even trying to explain that what you're doing is retarded. Now it's just me and some forum friends ranting.

And let me tell you, we're enjoying every minute of it.

Hope we can still be friends.

PS Everybody else who apparently "frequent /b/ as well", I don't know you guys, so I could care less if you were newfags as well. But if we keep encouraging this kind of shit with him, one day he's probably gonna get himself his own ED article. Most likely as an hero.


Woo! Four in the morning and no sleep! Look out for the grammar! Also, this was posted on his Wall, so when I say everybody else, I'm referring to his fellow newfag friends. So anyway, thoughts or comments?
 
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DarkR34p3r

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

I'd say try to keep the friendship. ANYTHING on the internet cannot weigh equal to something in real life IMO.

I'd sit him down and have a talk to him calmly. If he's truly your friend, he should be able to understand.

Hell, I wish I had the balls to show a couple of my best friends my internet stuff. So far we've only my joking around about internet memes and hentai from time to time "hypothetically".
 

Sinfulwolf

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Let us know how it turns out.
 

garfield751

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

well i think you over reacted alittle but i dont think he will be bitter maby butthurt for a day or two but nothing like a visit to the local pub wont fix.
also i didnt know that there could be public polls
 
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Kusanagi

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

*ahem*
ANYWAYS.

If he's seriously taking it too far, you did the right thing by letting him know; but GOOD GOD man, be meaner and harsher with the truth. If he's truly as bad as you say he is, this won't affect anything, 'cept maybe how much you keep in contact with each other, if he's fazed at all - he could just think this is some /b/ shit you're pulling on him, and he'll do it to everyone he knows, just like he forces out the memes, just like he does all that other shit.
 
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DarkFire1004

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Well I got the message back from him. Just one tip when dealing with this guy. He's that guy you know who basically doesn't know how to react to an insult. So instead of getting angry or anything, he just goes, "Hurr hurr, okay." He says anything so that it seems like he's agreeing with everything you say. For example, what he just wrote down there:

Why yes I know.

I've known and accepted the fact that I have been a newfag and I can take the criticism easily as I do everyday. I don't recall spewing any memes, but ok and if I did, I swear it was one of my friends who typed it out even though you probably don't believe me. You've been one of my closer friends for years and I don't let friends go that easily. At least half of the new community on /b/ are newfags anyways. Well sorry that I did offend everyone and I'll try to improve.

Yeah. I don't think he even knew he was a newfag until I told him, much less accepted the fact. And every single sentence he wrote is a basically a lie. He ALWAYS spews memes out. He can't take criticism easily, he just thinks he does. He's not gonna try to improve and he's not sorry.

But I'm not sure how to proceed with this.
 

Kusanagi

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Rape hi- waitaminute.....

First mistake: posting it on a 'wall'. Shoulda just emailed his ass or something to start with, THEN started in with the public stuff. OF COURSE he won't admit anything in public - humans naturally get defensive when anyone and everyone can see what's going on.

Second mistake: assuming, even a little bit(and you did, or else you wouldn't have bothered), that because he's your friend, he'd listen. HE'S A NEWFAG - they don't listen to anyone.

Personally, I'd go over in person and smack him around a bit until he understood EXACTLY what it is that he needs to stop.
But that's me.
 
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DarkFire1004

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

First mistake: posting it on a 'wall'. Shoulda just emailed his ass or something to start with, THEN started in with the public stuff. OF COURSE he won't admit anything in public - human's naturally get defensive when anyone and everyone can see what's going on.
I.. I think I royally fucked this intervention up. But I think there's still time to save it. I was thinking of starting to hack his shit (He's given me his MMO passwords and all that junk) but even if that means I get all his stuff, I won't get the satisfaction of his crying, because like I said, he's the type of guy who'll just hide his emotion and go, "Hurr hurr okay,"
 

randomwords

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Ok...

I have dealt with someone like this before...

First thing is first, It will take a while, Just hang in there and keep it up...

You have to sit him down in person and talk to him, If he starts doing the "oh whatever" type of deal keep him focused and repeat as much as needed...

Like i said this will take a while, It took me to get my friend out of it at least a month so be ready for a pretty long haul...

You also need to bring it up with mutual friends of yours both, see what their input is, if they are corrupting him then you need to deal with them...

After that goto his friends that are not so mutual...

This will be the hardest part...

Talk to them and find out if they are the ones corrupting him...

Trust me there is always a corrupter in the group of friends...

It took me a week and a half to find the one for my friend...

Once this all goes down it may be painful a bit at times just hang in there and it should start improving...

GOOD LUCK...
 
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DarkFire1004

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Well I guess the hardest part is already done then. I'm pretty sure I'm the one who corrupted him. It's just that he stemmed off from there. The hard part for me is the whole sitting him down thing. I'm not much of a man of words. But he is my friend, so I'll try to suck it up.
 

randomwords

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

You may think you corrupted him but there is usually someone who does it other than you...

You may have shown him the site but you did not make him do the things he did...

You just supplied the ammo for the gun but someone else made him fire it...

Sitting him down will be hard yes, But if you are good friends then there will be a way...

You dont even have to be good with words just be nice, talk slowly, tell him the truth, and most importantly KEEP CALM!!

If he starts getting out of control when you do this try to keep him calm, you dont want it to get bad, trust me i know...

again good luck with this, and my best of wishes...

Hope this helps :D
 

garfield751

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

well my solution to this is to get him soo drunk he passes out and you leave him on his back and ditch him cus it seems to me that you want to piss him off.
 

Momiji

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

I don't know if I'm just bitter or what. I would've beat the ever loving shit out of him by now.

I used to have a friend who would spew out TF2 quotes all the fucking time in RL. I literally came close to breaking his leg and SCREAMING at him to shut up the fuck up and that only failures spew out quotes like him.

C'mon man, be firm.
 

aika

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

I love newfags, they always make the best trolls without even realising it.
 

Wonderboy

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Well speaking as a man who seriusly had problems quitting /b/ I must ask what is your goal, 'cause I showed it to an aquaintance of mine, and he's gone apeshit. If your goal is to make him stop blurting out memes and shit then you're in for a rough ride... Other solution is to really input /b/ as a negative thing in his mind, and force him to stop. As long as he's on /b/ he will most probably keep being a Newfag, some people just are. So my advice is:

Make him abandon /b/.

(My aquaintance/friend never recovered, and whenever there's a school massacre in the news, people are afraid of him for a few days...)

I am also constantly living in fear of maybe having led him here...
 

aika

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

 

Kusanagi

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

 

SirOni

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Ohoho Dark, you've got to realise that you can hate your friends AND still like them. I do. Granted, I dont hate them as much as I hate all the nameless cunts that shouldn't be allowed to live, but it's still the same thing. Oh, and what do you mean by 'wall'? Or did I just miss something when I read it?
 

Obeliskos

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

Facebook slang for comment box.
 

SirOni

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Re: My Attempt to Keep a Good Friend Out of Newfaggotry

ah okay, now I understand. Awesome, now I need to track down Darks FB page >:D
 
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