[WIP - Full] [Sweetsprite] Forest of Abyss 2

[zipetya]

Ooh, in that case, I am tipping my hat to you good Sir! Your dedication is duly noted and appreciated.

 

[ValentineMeikin]

Going to work on the translation soon, and want to ask for an opinion on the translation you would like...

Translation A: A more literal translation, where dialogue is translated as close to the original as possible, and the scene lengths are kept as close as possible to the original.
Translation B: A translation that uses as few text boxes as possible, while keeping to relative accuracy.
Translation C: A more pragmatic and darkly humorous version, using similar comedy to known Madou translations.

One thing I will do is replace the references to pungent odours as a debilitating effect with a 'Drugged' effect, keeping the mental handicapping, but removing the suggestion that it's because of a horrid smell.

 

[TecJack]

Going to work on the translation soon, and want to ask for an opinion on the translation you would like...

Translation A: A more literal translation, where dialogue is translated as close to the original as possible, and the scene lengths are kept as close as possible to the original.
Translation B: A translation that uses as few text boxes as possible, while keeping to relative accuracy.
Translation C: A more pragmatic and darkly humorous version, using similar comedy to known Madou translations.

One thing I will do is replace the references to pungent odours as a debilitating effect with a 'Drugged' effect, keeping the mental handicapping, but removing the suggestion that it's because of a horrid smell.

Personally speaking, I prefer something more close to the original source possible, so I choose A. But if it is too much work to translate every dialog, then B is fine too.

 

[Neosuduno]

I prefer A, but can accept B. C is out of the question.

I am surprised you would do that. The effect can be caused by smell alone. It is called 'nasal sensory overload' and it can paralyze at it's worst. Granted, the smell would have to be obscenely bad to do that, but it is within the scope of logic.

 

[greatgf]

I'm mainly a lurker, but I'll come out of hiding to give my two cents on this.

I feel like "A" would be the preferred route for most people, this is a high quality game and I think the people who are in to the included fetishes want to get as much out of it as possible. Honestly, I would be fine with "C" as long as the H-scenes are kept accurate. As for the smell vs drugged thing, I know there are some people who get off to the smell part, and while it's not my preference, I would feel bad about robbing them of that relatively rare content. There are also some scenes (like a lot of the bandit scenes) where it's clearly a bad smell at play, though drugging/pheromones could work for the plant/tentacle scenes.

Whatever you decide to do though, know that we extremely appreciate your hard work. This game features a lot of rarer fetishes that don't get a large volume of high quality content, and having context for the scenes makes it that much better. You and Danielwain are both awesome for this undertaking.

 

[Supreme Squidward]

I mostly like with C but A and B is fine too

 

[ValentineMeikin]

I'll think about the 'Smell' status effect, but that is not fixed to option C. If I did it, it would be a universal cut, whatever version I do.

With A, I would have much less personality put into the dialogue, trying hard to get the general tone Sweetsprite were intending, but knowing I can't get it perfect.
With B, It would be similar to A, except I would have a large number of points where two dialogue boxes get merged together due to, for example, a dialogue box having 'Arle screams', then 'Arle gives a muffled yell' being the gist of the translation.
Finally, C would be done as a fairly comedic translation, using the fact Arle was notorious for her dismissive and cruel put-downs. When it gets to the failure scenes, Arle's comments, when she's still got a chance of survival, would remain slightly sarcastic, only to turn very quickly grim and fearful.

 

[MasterQ2]

I'd say option C. Sounds like the best one.

 

[TecJack]

I still prefer A or B, C sounds like can ruin the original intention of the "mood" that Sweetsprite wanted on a scene. Arle making sarcastic comments while she is being raped/eaten/etc sounds very weird, even if she is sarcastic half of the time.

About the "Smell" status, the game already has a ton of different possible status that Arle and the enemies can get, It's possible that a real "Drugged" status appears sooner or later on the game and clash with the renamed "Smell" one.

 

[Neosuduno]

I still prefer A or B, C sounds like can ruin the original intention of the "mood" that Sweetsprite wanted on a scene. Arle making sarcastic comments while she is being raped/eaten/etc sounds very weird, even if she is sarcastic half of the time.

Another reason why I would not like C. I feel it would be a mockery of the game itself, and and would ruin the translation for me. It would be a trolling of the work of Sweetsprite, and that would sour me on the game.

 

[mromegazz]

Guess I'll reply on this one too. Not sure if B is what I want or not or at least the closest one, but as I said in other thread I think being as accurate as possible to what's actually being said is fairly important, but just as important I feel is also making the dialogue sound natural. Obviously if I ran it through a machine translation or even if we went for 1:1 stuff it's going to sound a bit robotic at points or just plain weird so I'd avoid that, but I'd also try to not just straight-up turn it into a parody of what it actually was meant to be which is what C sounds a bit close to being.

 

[greatgf]

With B, It would be similar to A, except I would have a large number of points where two dialogue boxes get merged together due to, for example, a dialogue box having 'Arle screams', then 'Arle gives a muffled yell' being the gist of the translation.

IMO, "Arle gives a muffled yell" is a lot hotter than just saying "Arle screams" during an H-scene. I feel like condensing the dialog for normal NPC/story scrips is acceptable as long as we're not losing anything important, but for the actual hentai parts, keep it as close to the original as you can.

 

[ValentineMeikin]

I wish to state, for the record, and will repeat this in the other thread.
I would NEVER do it as a parody.

Madou Monogatari and Puyo Puyo have a unique sense of humour, like the fact Schezo can't HELP but put his foot in it when he opens his mouth, saying something that can easily be misinterpreted. It's those kinds of touches which I'd put in, genuine parts of the characterisations that we know of. If Doppel was in the game for example, I'd actually deliberately go into the Puyo Quest audio data to get some extra snickering in, interweaving it with some genuinely chilling dialogue, because that's who she is.

 

[TecJack]

As people mentioned before, while the H-Scenes, the combat related stuff and the plot important dialogue are keep intact, I think is fine if you want to change some dialogues to be more "Madou/Puyo", but even then I personally prefer that the game is translated as close to the original source possible. I get it that some dialogue don't represent Arle character as the official games, but if SweetSprite wanted to do it like that, I feel that changing his script can be a bit disrespectful to him.

 

[Neosuduno]

Ditto. The sarcastic personality is mostly reserved for arrogant foes and Satan, not common beasts. That is how she is portrayed in canon (non Bowdlerized) as an adult.

 

[Darkstar816]

I would prefer the translation to be accurate, provided it isn't at the expense of flow and personality. Basically..."A/C".

 

[ValentineMeikin]

Due to the release of the recent update... and the promise of another update coming, the translation will not be complete any time soon.

 

[Forté]

Due to the release of the recent update... and the promise of another update coming, the translation will not be complete any time soon.

Not a problem! We know you've been trying to translate this game for a while, and most people probably would've given up by now. The fact that you're still willing to do it is a blessing.

 

[mromegazz]

Due to the release of the recent update... and the promise of another update coming, the translation will not be complete any time soon.

it's understandable. still, is there "progress" that gets made during these times where directly updating the game seems pointless for reasons you've explained in the past? I mean in the sense of translations being made and simply not being worked into the game due to how game code stuff keeps updating?

and just a thought i've been having for the time while we wait is that while it seems the plan is obviously translating the whole thing so people can actually play it, a fair amount of us would just settle for the game overs. and going even lower than that, even if the translations aren't yet put into the games themselves and were presented as simply any form we could read. like, say you took any one of the bad end screens or another short scene of your choosing (if you wanted to capture a different mood) and just put down how you'd translate it in the form of a text post here. You could use that as a quick way of showing exactly how you'd translate the whole game as well.

 

[ValentineMeikin]

The main reason I don't translate it straight up and offer something is that I am a busy person, and recently had a bunch of pretty bad shit happen. I'll be getting back to the translation, but I'm not sure when.