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European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant


avatar99

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Absolutely Brilliant


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik�enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords�kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi�bl riten styl.�

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.�

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
 

Incubus

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

I simply had to read this aloud, building up my voice slowly throughout the thing.
 

Host

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

DOHHOHOHOHO! Nice find, Avatar.
 

Chibichibi

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

xD

That's hysterical. Much love and awesome for that.
 

Sinfulwolf

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

that made my day. Well done!
 
OP
avatar99

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

My mom sent it to me via email. I thought it was hillarious myself and figured you'd all get a kick. I'm still waiting for Oni's take xD
 

Nunu

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

i saw this like 4 years ago... its still a little funny.
 

Hopeyouguess62

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

Good stuff :D
 

Obeliskos

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant



My working too hard what?

lol learn correct grammar before trying to troll me privately. (neg reps are never private when they come to Obe, motherfuckers)
 
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avatar99

avatar99

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

that wasn't me Obe...
 

Obeliskos

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

I never said it was, I just didn't feel like making a new thread about it.
 
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avatar99

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

Ahh I see said the blind man.
 

SirOni

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

My mom sent it to me via email. I thought it was hillarious myself and figured you'd all get a kick. I'm still waiting for Oni's take xD
My take? Okay, here's my take; it's fucking retarded.
 

Alias

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Re: European Commission - Official Language - Brilliant

I saw this a lonnnngggg time ago. At least four or five years ago. I remember it being really funny though, so kudos for that.
 
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