Re: Off-Topic thread
Imperial Guard are kick ass and awesome.
I mean, a Space Marine sits around and gloats about how much ass he's kicked after being pumped full of steroids, DNA altering crack and some thinger called a gene seed, as well as getting extra organs that do things such as heal them faster to prevent them from bleeding out. And that's before all their fancy kit like Power Armour, Terminator Armour, Plasma Cannons and the like. And this is done from the age of fucking 7. Yeah, no shit you kick ass, you're hardly even considered a human fucking being anymore ye god damn gorilla.
Meanwhile Imperial Guardsmen are given some basic body armour that essentially amounts to a frag vest with plates, and handed a laser rifle, and expected to fight the same damn enemies the Space Marines do... and they can still pull off a victory... unless your playing as Space Marines because they need to make fun of the Imperial Guard.
So yeah, Imperial Guard, lowest common denominator in a Galaxy full of Chaos Gods, Elven Space Pirates that fight with their own Gods and Spirit Walker things, a horde of Gun Hungry Orcs that have biceps the size of a fuckin Oak tree, a hive of life devouring insectoid scourges that can grow to be the size of a skyscraper or some shit, and millennial old robots who woke from the earth to again wipe out all life from the Galaxy. Yet they still pull out victories.
Join the Imperial Guard, say "Fuck you" to the odds!
The Imperium is not responsible for shell shock due to witnessing legions of friends get blown up, shot, eaten, mutated, lost into the voids of space, executed by Commissars, beaten, stabbed, mutalated, and any other manner of grisly death upon the Battlefield.
The Imperium does not accept "I don't want to die" as an excuse to not join the Imperial Guard. You will respond to your draft notice at the given date or an Inquisitorial unit will deem your life forfeit for heresy against the Emperor of Man.
Should you die in service of the Imperial Guard your pension will be given to your unit to honour your sacrifice and pay for the equipment the Imperium was so gracious in giving your for your military career. Your family will be cared for through workforce labour to pay off their crippling debts and your funeral, of which of course your body will not be present for do to having the honour of being buried on a battlefield.
In all seriousness, I've always liked the Imperial Guard for being human, and still managing to fight against everything the damn Galaxy tosses their way.