labov
Member
- Joined
- May 26, 2018
- Messages
- 39
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I mean, is it the usual battlefuck system, early development woes, or an actual godawful design so bad that it makes you want to gouge out your own eyes?
It "works" as follows:
You have an ecstasy bar and a love bar and an action bar. Your action bar determines how many action points you have available to spend on actions. Your ecstasy bar determines the time when you will cum. Your love bar fills with each time you cum and when it's at 100%, you're the monstergirl's new waifu.
Now your opponent also has an ecstasy bar and a love bar and an action bar. Her action bar also determines what actions she can use, and it is DIRECTLY OVERLAID ON TOP OF YOURS and fills up about 1000 times faster than yours. Her ecstasy bar determines the time when she will cum. Her love bar fills with each time you make her cum (or a tiny bit if you do special moves) and when it's at 100%, she becomes recruited as your follower.
Now, between the time her action bar starts moving and reaches 100% - about a secon's worth of time - you have to select between 4 main menu items and 4-8 sub-menu items per main menu, using only arrow keys, Z and X (for forward/back) to spend your slooooowlllyyyyy reeefiiiiillliiiing action bar points. Pro tip: navigating the mega menu clusterfuck of 100 000 000 options does not stop your opponent from acting.
Your actions consist of things like kisses, caresses, and whatnot, which fill your opponents ecstasy bar, and also some special moves like "whispers of love", which are limited to 3 uses per encounter and map and increase her love bar by a tiny amount. And then you can also "beg" for her to do things.
And then on top of that you have a "focus on sex" key (s) which supposedly slows down time to make it possible ofr you to react, except the slowdown is barely perceptible.
And then there's a pause option, but being paused doesn't help you because you can't do shit all in a paused state.
And then, if she makes you cum, you enter a special "downed state", where you have to do special ultra moves to revive yourself so you can then get to again navigate the menu hell of action point spending. Waaa hooo!
So basically you mash keys and X sand Zs and Ss and fire off whatever actions you have points for, and it's totally random when you get to act or not act, and you can only pray you have enough action points and then you either win or lose. Oh yeah, and in between you battle text boxes popping up like the world's poorest one-man popup blocker.
Does all this sound convoluted, tiresome and TASK MANAGER!! KILL THIS PROCESS!!! yet? Well! Good news! It's 1 000 000 times worse to actually play it. Not only is it boring as all fuck, you also need the APM of a korean star craft super champ hopped up on mountain dew to big brain time it.
If this is "early development woes", then a total teardown, cremation, burial at sea, exorcism, post-mortem, congressional oversight committee with 100 000 000 page explication and executive summary for brevity of this system is the entire feasible process of repair.
I mean, Shrift had some really questionable porn sounds. I find it difficult to top that.
Trust me - they're worse.
So, like, I've accepted that kenkou cross is a kissless virgin who's never even been in the same room with a woman, and I don't expect porn game sound effects to resemble anything I've ever heard in bed. That's not fine, but I tolerate it. And hey, there's some generic-shitty shrift-level sound effects there.
But then there's the blowjob noise. Oh god. The blow job noise - and it is a noise, not a sound - resembles nothing so much as balls of play doh high on meth jumping up and down in a pool of raw sewage, interspersed with tired cleaning mops sliding over a hospital floor. I've had to listen to two to three hours of TV static to purge my memories of it and therefore keep my dick from going limp the next time I'll be getting head for real. "A really disturbing japanese porn game sound effect slapped my mind" isn't a great answer to "aw honey, what's wrong?"...
I want to believe you're exaggerating.
100% turbonuclear hard trance with baby cries all the way through any "sex"-battle. On loop.
Even hard bass is sexier than this.
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