Re: Hate Thread
I hate the relationship talk in the love thread, at least as the current trend is going, tried even humorlessly changing the subject.
I've done well to evaluate my life at almost every standpoint and chose not to be interested in any type of relationship as it is not at all a priority. Meeting certain people in person up at school resolidified that, either being not interested in relationships themselves, getting out of psychotic relationships, in relationships that they don't care for, or not in any relationship despite their desperate attempts otherwise but still contently living their lives.
Yet, as of late, (perhaps since I'm not in contact with them over vacation) I have had WAY too much time to myself. Do you all think it selfish of me to want to be in a relationship just cuz I have nothing better to do? I mean, I get my daily required 5-6 hours of gaming everyday, I eat my square meals (even overeating and gaining weight, a thing I never thought possible with my lanky frame and overactive metabolism), still find time to visit the friends I wish, even started exercising out of boredom. Basically I'm doing everything I wanted to be doing when I was away at college. I would sit and think to myself "...God, I can't wait to go back home." But aside from all I'm doing, I still have hours upon hours thinking about how I have nothing better to do then sit on my couch and daydream. I have plenty of individual hobbies too, I mean, I write a lot, poetry, songs, short stories, would-be novels, hand-drawn comics, and all that what-have-you's. I fuck around in martial arts (best way I can phrase it since I am doing it and it's serious but there's no formal training involved). I do household chores, but I'm still going insane. As a matter of fact, I think the time I spend on the couch free-thinking is helpful to my predicament, cuz that's where I usually think up more material for whatever I feel like writing later on.
Despite all that, I've still thought of just picking up the phone and asking any random girl I know out. And I'm not a braggart but I'm actually a hell of a nice guy in person and good with face-to-face psych where I pick up on tell-tale signs and know when someone likes me or not. It's not something I just imagine either, any one I've suspected has been confirmed, even a guy in one case. And there are quite a bit of girls that I know like me but don't even mention it because they know how I feel about relationships. I've actually considered taking these girls up on that JUST BECAUSE I'm fucking bored out of my skull! It's psychotic.
..God, I can't wait to go back to school.
^
but, I guess, forever is my inconsistency. Not only is the grass always greener, I know this problem and can view it from outside knowing that, if I were on the other grass, I'd immediately become home-sick and come right back to the malcontent lawn I was previously on, perpetually wishing for what I don't have but could easily get despite all that I already was given... I think I'm going to turn into a sociopath, a psychologist/sociopath. Makes sense right? *crickets* ..right?