The ULMF Trail

[garfield751]

Re: The ULMF Trail

4. same as obe
3. same as obe
2. same as obe
1. same as obe

 

[Pheonix Alugere]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Obe, change your vote to be the same as garfield's so that we can have a loop.

 

[Obeliskos]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Is it really as funny if you have to tell someone to do it?

.. oh fuck it, I'm doing it anyway.

 

[Pheonix Alugere]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Is it really as funny if you have to tell someone to do it?

.. oh fuck it, I'm doing it anyway.

Yes. Yes it is.

 

[garfield751]

Re: The ULMF Trail

gah what have i done!

 

[DarkFire1004]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Well I'll just take that as a majority vote.

But before we begin...

"What're you doing, man? Don't do it. Don't do it, man!"

"I'm serious, man! Don't fucking do it! It's not worth it!"

"OH SHI-"

"Now look what you've done! Well it's not too bad at least..."

"HOLY CAULK. IT'S EVERYWHERE. THE OXEN ARE DROWNING. THE GRASS IS MILKY. THE CHILDREN ARE DEAD. OUR WIVES ARE PREGNANT. AND THAT INDIAN WHO KEEPS FOLLOWING US AROUND IS STILL FUCKING ALIVE!"

"IT'S BROKEN THE BOARDERS! HURRY AND CONTAIN THE THING BEFORE IT-"

"NOOOO! THE BUTTONS HAVE BEEN COVERED! HURRY AND CLICK THE BIG RED X AT THE CORNE-"

"DEAR GOD WE'RE TRAPPED! WHAT'RE WE GONNA DOOOOOOOOOO!?"

"*Blub*help"Blub*"

Sorry guys. We lost.

 

[Obeliskos]

Re: The ULMF Trail

FUCKING REP'D

.. as soon as I spread some around.

 

[Copper]

Re: The ULMF Trail

DAMN HORATIO CAINE! Damn him to hell, I say! (I also find it amusing he has sunglasses on *under* his goddamn sunglasses)

And I see there's no need to vote, really, but yes, majority. I'm agreeing with Shrike.

 

[DarkFire1004]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Following the horror that was the Chimney Rock, our bold adventurers continued on their journey.

SO!

Spoiler

We're off to the next checkpoint, which is yet another fort. And along the way...

Our Token Female got so much better, she turned into a loli! Rejoice!

And we arrived at Fort Laramie without a single incident at all. Not even fog! Is this mercy, or is this the calm before a storm?

And our status.

So concludes this extremely short update.

Decision time!
Trading?
You want me to continue talking like this, or do you want me to try telling this as a story?

 

[garfield751]

Re: The ULMF Trail

seems to be doing fine but we should start huntin along the way to conserve foods

 

[Shrike7]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Indeed, stat putting them bullets to good use!

Eh, maybe next time do it like a story, I think the mood for this one is already too far out the window to bring it back now XD

 

[Copper]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Thirded, on both counts. And since it wasn't mentioned, pass on the trading, too.

 

[Pheonix Alugere]

Re: The ULMF Trail

I'll agree with them.

 

[Obeliskos]

Re: The ULMF Trail

I'll agree with Phoenix's agreeing with them.

 

[ToxicShock]

Re: The ULMF Trail

I'll agree with whoever's agreeing with whatever agreement

 

[DarkFire1004]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Well I'm going to do this in story mode from now on. I'll take the persona of a traveler who's leading this band of pioneers. This'll be in a serious tone. If you guys want this to be in a humorous tone, I'll switch to that instead.

But first, my straight up G huntin' skillz:

Nah. Just joking. I made a save state before doing that, don't worry.

SO! *Ahem*

Spoiler

Fort Laramie was quite enjoyable. We hadn't seen a civilized settlement like that for the past two hundred miles or so. We usually just end up finding a small landmark that we would quickly forget about. Well, except for Chimney Rock. Something about that place gave the oxen a fright, and I couldn't blame them.

We made our way to the next place, which a passing traveller told us was a place called Independence Rock. McTalksalot wasn't too much of a burden with his illness because we agreed early on to move slowly in order to allow him to rest. One thing I didn't understand about the professor was that he continued to stay awake despite his weakness, and possibly further his sickness. The group continuously told him to take a rest and that they could handle anything, which was actually quite accurate, but he insisted that he stay to help. I have to admire his determination, but it's still no excuse for rashness.

Fortunately one good night sleep later, he had recovered.

Looking at our current progress, our food supply was still ample, though some of our travellers, namely Redshirt. For an ensign, he really hasn't shown any of us that he had what it took to survive in this place. He's constantly feeding on our supply and barely helps with the chores. If it weren't for the fact that he was our navigator, which he also does poorly seeing as how we keep finding ourselves in heavy fog, he probably would have been thrown out to the wild a while ago.

But more on our dwindling food supply. We decided to wait until we got closer to buffalo territory to begin our hunt. When we took a quick survey of the land, we could only see the swift prairie dog and the occasional whitetail deer. We didn't want to waste our bullets on such small game, no matter how good of a shot our hunter Cannon Fodder was.

Redshirt's incompetence began to shine once more as he somehow navigated his way to a dry piece of dirt, where none of our oxen could feed. We would have to move quickly to the next settlement if we wanted our oxen to survive this journey.

Our troubles didn't stop there however, when we attempt to drink from a nearby pond only to find the water was extremely dirty. It seemed our good luck streak that followed us in the beginning of this journey was coming to an end.

As we continued to travel, our oxen went for three days without seeing any sort of grass. Things were beginning to look grim for our cattle. Nevertheless, we pushed on at a slow pace.

Redshirt showed a new level of stupidity one day when he somehow actually lost track of the trail. It took us an entire four days before Token Female was able to find our oxen droppings. Sometimes I think we should simply abandon the ensign and make Token our new navigator. Fortunately, while we were searching for the trail, we found some wild berries that could go into our food supply.

Thankfully we reached Independence Rock without any other problems. Now it was time to rest a bit before continuing.



Okay, basically, this is what happened this time:
We got hit with some fog, costing us 1 day.
Then the Professor got better again.
The oxen went three days straight without grass.
Then we lost the trail for 4 days.
During three of those four days, we kept finding wild berries (seriously).
And I decided not to hunt for now because there was really no point in wasting bullets on the deer and rabbits. We'll wait until the buffalo show up and I'll bag one of those.

Independence Rock is an important landmark and resting place along the Oregon Trail. It's a large natural formation, almost 200 feet tall, made of soft stone into which many travelers and traders have carved their names, initials, or brief messages (like "Call Sandy at 240-2347 for a good time). It gets its name from the fact that, in order to stay on schedule, travelers try to reach it no later than July 4th-Independence Day.

And finally, decision time:
Trade?

Also after typing this up, I realize I'm not much of a storyteller in this fashion. If you guys want me to continue doing it like this, then text 1 to Darkfire. If you want a more humorous story, text 2 to Darkfire.

 

[Obeliskos]

Re: The ULMF Trail

2

 

[Shrike7]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Text Message, Recipient: DarkFire
2
-End of Message-

also, move the pace up a tad, all our people are now fine again, no reason to go slow

 

[garfield751]

Re: The ULMF Trail

Text Message, Recipient: DarkFire
2
-End of Message-

also, move the pace up a tad, all our people are now fine again, no reason to go slow

this

 

[Pheonix Alugere]

Re: The ULMF Trail

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