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JSK工房 Hgames Translation Thread


Delexicus

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@ Icevail

Thanks for the quick reply. I hope you approve of my polishing attempt. I'm thinking Ancient Malevolent God would be a nice way to add character to an otherwise neutral phrase.
 

Icevail

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@Delexicus

You don't have to ask me, do what you find more appealing, hell, you can throw in spaceponies and darth vader having a dance party if you feel like it. :ROFLMAO:
 

Delexicus

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As serendipity would have it, one of my computer repair customers called today to have some work done. He just so happens to be a high level linguist. From what he's told me, he's fluent in seven languages. Japanese being his primary language that he taught when he lived in japan. I used the opportunity to ask him to have a once over at the intro text for Irene and asked for advise on learning Japanese. He's going to be sending me a starter kit that he gave his students before he retired. I never learned a secondary language in school, it should be an interesting experience to attempt.

EDIT 1: I think I'll go with "primeval cataclysmic daemon" instead of "ancient evil god".
 
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flurki

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@Delexicus

You don't have to ask me, do what you find more appealing, hell, you can throw in spaceponies and darth vader having a dance party if you feel like it. :ROFLMAO:
Oh my god, that totally has to be added in that text lol :D.

But jokes aside, I think the text reads pretty well. As far as I remember, the intro texts of JSK games are shown VERY briefly so reading them is almost impossible (ingame). The longer the text is, the more difficult it will be I guess, but I don't know if that's the case in the Irene game. In the Miyui game it is.

Are you a native english speaker then, Delexicus? Maybe someone who is should read over the translated Miyui version, because I'm not. Also, Japanese is a very difficult language to learn, especially as a second language ^^
 

Delexicus

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Yes , english is my native language. I'm from upstate New York. I've been told that about learning Japanese. But then again, I haven't met anyone who can match me in terms of computer repair skill. So maybe I can apply my technical learning ability to linguistics. I would be more than happy to have a look at your translation and give you feedback and suggestions.

EDIT 1: Out of curiosity, what is your native language Flurki?

EDIT 2: I think I'm done fiddling with the Intro text.

Continental unification through conquest,
the Emperor became consumed by this ambition.
Thoughts of his ancestors glory further reinforced his obsession.

To expand the borders of his Empire, he began a massive,
brutal conquest, unification by any means necessary.

The neighboring countries formed
a coalition to fight against the brutality of the Empire.

The war reached a stalemate soon after the battles commenced.
In which it has remained to this day.

But then rumors began to emerge."In order to break
the stalemate, the Emperor plans to resurrect a
Primeval Cataclysmic Daemon to crush his enemies."

In order to find the truth about this rumor,
a series of imperial abductions took place,
in addition to other extreme measures.

Part of this clandestine seizure unit is a man,
who was exiled from the Empire.

EDIT 3: I uploaded a test version of the main Irene SWF. Have a look if you want a feel for how the intro translation looks. Also you are both right about the fast scrolling intro text. It's a little disheartening that my effort will most likely be overlooked.

Remove space after HTTP://
https:// mega.nz/#F!95p03YpC!P2qSpcu_D1m05gQXgNsbmA
 
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flurki

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I'm from Germany. Translating the game to german would be no problem, but I don't think that there's any demand for this ;). Anyways, learning English was quite easy as it's basically the easiest language in the world. Nowadays I'm in a state where I no longer recognize if a video I'm watching or a book/website I'm reading is in german or english. My mind just processes the information. Still, I can't ensure that my English is going to be 100% correct. Native speaker is still something entirely different.

What does "Priveval" mean? Is that a typo?
 

Delexicus

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I'm from Germany. Translating the game to german would be no problem, but I don't think that there's any demand for this ;). Anyways, learning English was quite easy as it's basically the easiest language in the world. Nowadays I'm in a state where I no longer recognize if a video I'm watching or a book/website I'm reading is in german or english. My mind just processes the information. Still, I can't ensure that my English is going to be 100% correct. Native speaker is still something entirely different.

What does "Priveval" mean? Is that a typo?
Yes Priveval was a typo. Already corrected it. It is supposed to be Primeval. Which generally means the first, or original. basically a synonym for ancient.

EDIT 1: Well English would be easier to learn for a native German speaker since both are based partially to heavily on Latin constructs. I have heard from quite a few native Japanese speakers that English is super difficult to learn. Having to learn a completely different grammar structure than your native language would probably be what makes a new language more difficult than another. Just my opinion on the matter anyway.
 
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flurki

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Ah, I thought it would probably be primeval, alright ^^

By the way, you're always posting twice :p
 

Icevail

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MC specifically talks about a literal vile God in the dialogue, daemon is not exactly one :unsure:, also its not world ending type of God, more of "Bring noble virgin girls as sacrifices and I'll grant you power/blessings/land"-type of God.
 
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Delexicus

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has a couple different meanings. One of them is literally god. But the other definitions lend a more evil or demonic bent to it.

EDIT 1: I do tend to double post, or append to my posts. I'm not the fastest typist and I don't want to finish my post after everyone else has gone to bed or whatnot.

EDIT 2: That's good to know that they use the descriptor word vile. I could use that to inform what word to use instead of Cataclysmic.

EDIT 3: Perhaps depraved.

EDIT 4: I'm also aware that Japan has a majority polytheistic approach when it comes to gods and mythology. But most Western societies have a majority population that is monotheistic. So to remove the confusion that generally arises from referring to multiple gods, it can be easier to convey the gods power and rank by reclassifying them as a lesser spiritual entity.

EDIT 5: Or we could go the Diablo route and use a name like, Ancient Lord of Depravity.
 
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flurki

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I don't think that the concept of multiple gods is hard to understand in western society. The Irene game is a medieval fantasy game and a lot of fantasy movies, books and games nowadays do have that concept. Polytheism/Mythology has also been present in the western world, at least in Europe, for a long time before christianity took over. Then again I'm not particulary insistent on anything being used, JSK probably didn't put too much thought into it either. There just needed to be a "if this thing gets revived, it's bad news" concept after all.
 

Delexicus

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I agree that JSK probably meant it as a quick explanation. I'm not really set on using the spiritual downgrade either. I'm just trying to think up a name that sounds better than "ancient evil god". It just sounds so generic and bland. I was using an old argument I remembered reading on another translation project I was following years ago. I suppose if Thor can be a block buster film then it's not THAT hard to get your head around multiple gods.

EDIT 1: So maybe Primeval Depraved God?

EDIT 2: I could see this falling into territory pretty quickly. It really is a trivial matter we are fussing about...
 
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flurki

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I don't mind talking about those things, even if they're trivial. This is a forum after all and discussing is fun :). It shouldn't be interpreted as some sort of controversial disagreement.

In my opinion, ancient evil god is exactly what the characters in the Irene game would use, seeing that neither Irene nor the player character know much about it, if anything at all. It would make sense for them to describe it in these words. Anyways, I don't want to meddle too much with the Irene translations, as I still have a lot of work ahead of me with the Miyui game :).
 

Icevail

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@flurki
@Delexicus

*Major Sarcasm warning*

Oh, no, no , no, that won't do at all.

We're going to argue like hell about this topic, throw personal insults and burn each other's opinion on a stake, spawn pages long rants about it without anyone taking one step backwards, driving the entire forum into chaos, causing mods to swing ban hammer at all of us just to calm it down before the server explodes from the heat we're causing.

*Sarcasm ends*

@flurki

MC knows the God in the story well since its one of the Gods his people worships (MC is a foreigner & Court Mage is from same country as him), which is why he resents the idea of its revival to a point he'd rather betray his knight's oath than agree upon it, its the whole center of his motive for kidnapping the princess, as MC knows someone is going to be sacrificed to reawaken the God and that someone has to be girl of noble birth, (also the Emperor told him about the revival plan, did not take too long for MC to put pieces together on who it is).

@ Everyone reading this

I've written princess as 'pricness' so many times now, that I am seriously considering travelling back in time to replace the word with it. :ROFLMAO:
 
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Delexicus

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I'm glad that we can have a civilized discussion and freely exchange our thoughts. Too many times I've tried to talk to friends about something that I found interesting and they would TRY to make it into some kind of competitive argument. Thank you for restoring some of my faith in humanity :D. I can have a look at your translation work whenever you like.

EDIT 1: I think I've found a decent middle ground between what the in-game characters would use, and what the narrator would use to describe the ancient god. How about Ancient Obscene God? This fits the vile descriptor used by the Main Character and is descriptive enough that it doesn't sound like a Disney villain anymore.
 
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Icevail

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@Delexicus

MC: "Do you know anything about the Emperor's plans to resurrect the Ancient Obscene God?"
Irene: "Why is your text going over the text choice zone and off screen, MC-kun?"

Slight of a problem there. :ROFLMAO:

MC: "It has been the role of the Mages to prepare the sacrifice for the Gods, she is preparing to use you as sacrifice to reawaken the Ancient Obscene God."
Irene: "Nani the fuck, Vice Captain, the Mage is preparing me for what, more than half of you what you just said went all the way to side commands."

There is slight of a problem with space limitations there when it comes to dialogue choices, I've already shortened all as much as I can without stepping over the text box limitation and breaking the dialogue context.

So I need to go with Vile or Evil God as it shows up to keep things short, that's the problem with english, it takes more space than japanese to write.
 
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Delexicus

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@Delexicus

MC: "Do you know anything about the Emperor's plans to resurrect the Ancient Obscene God?"
Irene: "Why is your text going over the text choice zone and off screen, MC-kun?"

Slight of a problem there. :ROFLMAO:

MC: "It has been the role of the Mages to prepare the sacrifice for the Gods, she is preparing to use you as sacrifice to reawaken the Ancient Obscene God."
Irene: "Nani the fuck, Vice Captain, the Mage is preparing me for what?"

There is slight of a problem with space limitations there when it comes to dialogue choices, I've already shortened all as much as I can without stepping over the text box limitation and breaking the dialogue context.

So I need to go with Vile or Evil God as it shows up.
Vile works just fine. Vile and obscene are close enough in meaning that you could use either one without it looking out of place.
 
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Icevail

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@Delexicus

And to a complete different topic at hand, Irene sometimes refers MC as sensei (何してるんですか、先生!?), and then as vice captain again in another place, I really don't know what to make of it, I mean, its not explained anywhere that they had teacher-student type of relationship prior to the events of kidnapping, MC was just a vice knight captain, who spent very little time around the princess, and out of nowhere Irene calls him as sensei, might be a cultural thing that I am missing, do you have any light to share on that?
 
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Delexicus

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@Delexicus

And to a complete different topic at hand, Irene sometimes refers MC as sensei (何してるんですか、先生!?), and then as vice captain again in another place, I really don't know what to make of it, I mean, its not explained anywhere that they had teacher-student type of relationship prior to the events of kidnapping, MC was just a vice knight captain, who spent very little time around the princess, and out of nowhere Irene calls him as sensei, might be a cultural thing that I am missing, do you have any light to share on that?
Hmm, I suppose it could have to do with which story path you are going down. She could be calling him sensei out of respect when you are going down the trust and love route. Can you confirm which path(s) the sensei honorific is being used?

EDIT 1: I'm trying out a few replacements for the Interrogation Progress button. I've decided to go with the double height button idea. I could shrink the font to fit "Interrogation Progress", but I prefer to keep font scaling consistent where possible. I'm thinking "Exam Progress" would work. I thought about using "debriefing" but that is usually used with military personnel...

One of the definitions for debrief does fit the bill. "to question formally and systematically in order to obtain useful intelligence or information: Political and economic experts routinely debrief important defectors about conditions in their home country."

I'll try out "Debriefing Progress". If either of you have suggestions or preferences, I'm all ears.
 
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Icevail

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@Delexicus

That's the thing about it, I can't find it out on any of the 4 paths, there is even whole line about Irene's thighs (yes, thighs, not ass) going around, yet we can't touch those in anyway at any of the 3 positions, its in those lines that Irene calls MC as sensei, its always either as creep, bastard, perverted knight or vice captain, never as sensei.

Here's example line as translated

MC: "Do you want me to touch your thighs like this?"
Irene: "Yes, you may touch my thighs like that, please go on, sensei."


I get the vibe someone copy pasted their old code and left some of the old dialogues there to haunt us, I mean, even the ending dialogue is three times as well, one for each position, yet only one of those gets called, the one in AS 112.

Edit 1:

I am not a military expert, but isn't debriefing done after everything is said and done?
 
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