Re: Pornographic Pet Peeves.
Really I could never get into a lot of porn BECAUSE it's so easy to pick up on the falsities of it. That's not to suggest AGAINST the point of porn should be a fantasy and not really true to everyday life, but more FOR it in that they just ruin the fantasy. Watching porn in general often turns me off of a fetish or sex at all, and it's because of a complaint that I can't really phrase without sounding both like an idiot and an elitist, but goddamn these people can't even pretend they're trying to act, not only just in words but in body and expression.
I get what you mean. A person being all "Oh I love it" in both body and speech is great, largely regardless of sex act, while a person saying "Oh I love it" while looking repulsed or saying largely unbelievable things the rest of the time is just a turn-off. Pornstars
certainly aren't actors, and could do with lessons.
protip: Want a blowjob, it can be rather helpful to eat out
Your help is unfortunately lost on me as I plan on celibacy unto death. Not that I plan on being a monk; I just don't fancy the idea of actually having sex with anything. Voyeurism’s where it's at!
I'm not entirely sure this is correct... I don't enjoy watching much oral or any sort in porn simply because it often just comes across as boring.
Oh, I'm certainly not saying that this is a 100% guide to how a person of either gender is going to look at things. Just that a person's lack-or-existence-of genitalia has an effect on their ability to sympathize with the idea of stimulation to that organ. Guys can hate watching blowjobs just as much - especially ones that have had to give them, from what I understand, as men are hardly any better to perform on than women - and girls, as you and Copper have already pointed out, can feel nothing for watching another girl being eaten out.
Not to mention that you made me raise an eyebrow with your grotesque description of a woman's vagina that makes me think your not a fan of them.
Human minds have an obnoxious tendency to make wild connections and guesses when left without hard data. For instance, saying that oral actions on male equipment is unappealing, without mentioning anything about oral actions on female equipment, can quite easily cause the (unfounded) assumption that the speaker holds cunnilingus as an enjoyable action. While I understood that this was not necessarily the case, it doesn't stop the subconscious brain from annoying the conscious mind with incorrect assumptions as to the underlying nature of the received message. So I decided to remove the niggling annoyance that people might have been feeling by making a clear statement towards the enjoyability of oral actions on female genitals.
TLDR of the above: While I know that Copper and Ranger weren't necessarily saying that “blowjobs= bad, cunnilingus= good”, I still felt the need to counterbalance all the blowjob hate with some on its counterpart.
While I certainly don't like looking at the kind of vagina I described, in oral or any other situation, the female genitalia come in as many varied forms and appeals as the male equivalent; some cute (puffy pussy lips, yum~), some magnificent (A nice, pink, symmetrical, moist flower), some monstrous (gigantic clit and labia, mainly only seen in hentai, not personally appealing) - and, yes, some grotesque ("Old lady's cupboards". An Internet if you can place the reference.) While I wouldn't want to see grotesque cocks/pussies in any sense, let alone oral, some of the better cocks/pussies all but demand an 'appreciation of their beauty'. And yes, while I get off more on a nice penis sucked well, I also find the equivalent on a female of similar genital beauty to be arousing... just to a lesser extent. It might not be the case for everyone, but for myself certainly, a lack of empathy towards the act is in full effect.
(Hell, one of my more favoured porn clips' favourite scene is cunnilingus - the rest of the clip just doesn't really compare.
You must be registered to see the links
I know, I'm a damn bastard for forcing you to do study to appreciate my argument, I sincerely hope you can forgive me...
)
Sorry, wait, what? When did I say I liked watching cunnilingus?
I am almost certain that you have expressed an appreciation for cunnilingus on at least three separate occasions previously - in fact, I am all but certain you named it as one of, if not actually your favourite sex act. There is a chance I am mistaken, in which case I apologise, but I'm sure of this to such an extent that I am not going to go looking for the posts in question to verify it. Admittedly, I did make the mistake of assuming that "liking cunnilingus" also meant "like watching cunnilingus", when, in fact, you might not. In this, I admit I was wrong… though it does not necessarily mean that I am incorrect about a lack of experience affecting empathy, and a subsequent lack of empathy affecting enjoyment.
My like or dislike of watching something has nothing to do with my gender and just because I didn't say I didn't like it doesn't mean I do.
Now the second idea of that sentence I recognise, but the first one I can only partially accept. Science has determined that humans contain hormones which have an impact on sexual desire and arousal. While I have no proper appreciation for the research behind it, and am thusly quite likely making some misinterpretations, my understanding is that on a general level, Estrogen increases sexual desire towards males, while Testosterone increases sexual desire towards females. Now, this is quite possibly incorrect, but in the end I am fairly certain that, while not necessarily as hard-and-fast as "Testosterone = want women, Estrogen = want men", the different hormones undeniably have different effects on the nature of a person's arousal.
As a general rule, these hormones exist in differing levels dependant on gender - Males, upon sexual development, get largely Testosterone (and presumably some other less publicised hormones) and little Estrogen, while females of the human species have the reverse. (Granted, this is all pop-science, not triple-checked research papers, so this might be flawed.) Now, at this point I have to agree with Copper on a technicality; gender does not mean that a person will have certain feelings with 100% probability. There are quite obviously the large quantity homosexual and bisexual humans to factor into the equation - sometimes it's nature, beginning with a body predisposed to lusting after the same gender, while other times it's nurture, an attraction developed over the course of the human's life. However, gender, as I understand it, is one of the major markers for the distribution of hormones - and while there is always a degree of mind over matter with issues of one's own body, in the end the experiences had by people
will be different depending on the distribution of chemicals in their body.
Bottom Line: As everyone with knowledge of drugs and alcohol can attest the presence of chemicals effects behaviour. Everyone is going to have different amounts of natural chemicals in their body, dependant on their biology and nurture. And one of the major markers in determining the nature of a person’s biology is their gender.
To add to this, while I am not up to date with the current level of gender-corrective surgery and science, I do not believe that there currently exists a way to gift a working set of male genitals onto a person born biologically female. I also do not believe that there exists a way to gift a working set of female genitals onto a person born biologically male - even more so, given the nature of the womb and childbirth. We don't yet have any technology that allows people to share memories, sensations or experiences directly between one mind to another, and we don't yet have brain-interface technology at a level that would allow for phantom-limb-esque sensations to be uploaded into a person.
With this in mind, gender
currently unanimously determines if you are able to experience the stimulation of a penile organ or of the vaginal cavity. While a person can undeniably assume what the sensation would be like (- for females, I believe it helps to think of the penis as a massively engorged clit, with all the nerves spread out so that the sensation is dulled; with males I have found that the opposite assumption helps to empathise with clitoral stimulation -), it is my belief that these assumptions will not allow for the same degree of empathy as actual experience of the sensation through the respective genitals. Watching a lot (a LOT) of good porn (a rare thing) will quite likely help somewhat in developing an empathy towards the act, but given my own excessive pornographic consumption, and my continued lack of true sympathy for the stimulation of female genitals, I have to presume that it will never quite reach the level of empathy (and subsequently enjoyment) that a person more typically feels when watching stimulation of their own set of genitals.
I believe that the sensation of stimulation to one’s gender’s own set of sexual organs will surface easily as a memory, while an appreciation of the opposite gender’s sensations takes an active mental calculation – the end result being that enjoyment of watching one’s own gender’s genitals stimulated will come easier to a person than when watching stimulation of the opposite gender’s genitals… for most people, most of the time. As much as I believe this theory, in the 6-billion or so humans alive there are certainly people out there who don’t like to watch oral actions on their own gender, but do find it arousing when preformed on the opposite gender. At highschool in fact I can verify that one guy I knew admitted as much – he professed to wanting them to skip the blowjobs and work on the woman. Some of this can presumably be chalked up to insecurity in the person’s own sexuality, but some, possibly not.
So, yes, while I technically agree with Copper that gender does not 100% determine anything about the nature of the person, I have to argue that it can be a decent partial indicator as to the nature of a person’s sexual preferences… in so far as enjoyment towards watching their own gender’s genitals stimulated, anyway.
It's simply that blowjobs come up more often in porn than watching a guy go down on a girl. I'm acutally kind of with Sin on this one: watching oral sex is boring. I don't find it too bad if it's part of, say, threesome and there's other sexing going on at the same time, but if that's all it is, meh. I'll find something else to watch.
The fact that you do not like watching oral actions on females does not necessarily mean that your dislike of blowjobs wouldn't be lesser if you had experience with stimulation through a penile organ. However, it does generally indicate that your distaste towards visually portrayed oral actions does not stem from the lack of empathy. It seemed to me that, from the way you had phrased your statements about your dislike of blowjobs, you had an honest curiosity towards why other people seemed to enjoy watching it, and you personally did not. I provided what I believed was a reasonable, possible explanation for this situation, which may or may not necessarily be correct.
