Re: Hate Thread
OK! I am here in the Hate thread, most likely only my SECOND appearance in these hallowed halls. *Bows and gestures imperiously for more applause* Now, I have a great deal of trouble hearing people in a call center over the sound of how awesome I really am, And ladies and gentleman, that's pretty damned loud. Because of this, I'm generally hard to upset, Surely I understand the people on the other end of the line have a shitty job that they hate, and I should just enjoy the sound of my own awesome, and NOT make their lives any harder then possible.
HOWEVER. Having to listen to a gods be damned AUTOMATED MACHINE asking me INANE Questions just before speaking to these people can make that difficult some days, and, try as I might, However Awesome I may be, I can still hear these machines, because, sadly, they are just as annoying, just as evil, Just as LOATHSOME, as I am Awesome, and my ears suffer from the inevitable clash of my own incredible gloriousness and the pure evil of automated call machines.
FOR ENGLISH! PRESS 1!
Every time I hear this phrase, in the United States, I want to strangle something. hearing a machine ask in Spanish and provide an option IN SPANISH for SPANISH SPEAKERS is entirely acceptable, but don't you dare ask me if I'd like to continue the conversation with a mother fucking machine in the god damned primary language of the country I'm in.
But all my rage for these miserable machines and all their problems aside, I'm actually here to bring joyous tidings!
For to you all within the Hate thread, who hate, who know hate, who... LET the HATE FLOW... something something darkside? No no my friends... WE ARE THE DARKSIDE!
I'm here to recommend a new, beautiful, underground holiday! That we shall practice in secret, and only explain to those worthy when we are caught in the act of what appears to be mindless destruction, only to help kindle the flame of our hatred in new hearts and minds, and the will to strike down this evil foe.
Once a year, on a hateful day of our hateful choosing, we should, without fail, head out to anywhere that handles these... MACHINES... OR failing that, Any machine holding the program, and go fucking OFFICE SPACE on the damned thing! somewhere public! hopefully in front of the machines family and loved ones! So we can hear their automated sorrow and outrage as their monotone family member cries out in their monotone voice "For A More Brutal Public Execution of Myself, Press 7. For Mercy. Please. Stop. For Mercy."
This, I submit to you...