Hate Thread
Luppikun
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Re: Hate Thread
@Kusa: That really sucks. My step-dad thinks that anime, cartoons, computers (That aren't used for business), and vidya gaymes are useless wastes of time. But my mom likes them as much as I do, so he can't do anything about it. I wish you luck with your step-dad and college woes.
Yeah, we have had those sit down and talk moments. But apparently she doesn't remember them? She knows I don't like yaoi, she actually gave me Get Out of Yaoi Free cards for my birthday. But everything you said made perfect sense. That is my girlfriend in a nutshell. If you don't agree, well then, aren't you a douche! Look, you made her get all mopey and cry! Horrible boyfriend you are! I usually just shut up and deal with it, cuz all her past relationships were with jerks, so I have made it my goal to make her happy and be her "Prince Charming". Apparently I do a good job, since the only time she cries is when she feels guilty for forcing me to do things I don't want to do (Or she thinks I don't want to do)... The funniest part? She's apparently bi. Guess how many times we've talked about yuri.
@Kusa: That really sucks. My step-dad thinks that anime, cartoons, computers (That aren't used for business), and vidya gaymes are useless wastes of time. But my mom likes them as much as I do, so he can't do anything about it. I wish you luck with your step-dad and college woes.
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Re: Hate Thread
I get where you're coming from at least to some degree. My dad didn't just fail out but was thrown out of his college in his second year. My school doesn't charge per course, but actually by semester, so I'm allowed to take anywhere between 3-5 courses, with 4 being the standard "graduate in 4 years" pace. Last year I found out that I might be in some trouble with my courses and had to try and fix them or I wouldn't graduate on time and still wouldn't be able to drop them during the semester anyway, so I picked up another course as a backup plan. Then I got everything fixed, so I was taking 5 courses. Now for this semester, I didn't know how difficult my senior course would or wouldn't be and I only needed 3 to graduate, so that's all I took. IMMEDIATELY, I start getting a few phone calls all the time about why I wasn't taking more classes, it's my time to learn, this is all getting paid for, stuff like that. Not only would graduating with extra credits mean nothing, (even with 3 courses, I'm actually STILL graduating with extra credits, and only took 3 courses so I could keep the requirement of my scholarship) but I've gotten my GPA in my core classes to a point where even an A- lowers it. Why in God's name would I take another class? I think the only reason he didn't pull me out or force me to take more was because I aced all those 5 classes and it's my last semester.
I get where you're coming from at least to some degree. My dad didn't just fail out but was thrown out of his college in his second year. My school doesn't charge per course, but actually by semester, so I'm allowed to take anywhere between 3-5 courses, with 4 being the standard "graduate in 4 years" pace. Last year I found out that I might be in some trouble with my courses and had to try and fix them or I wouldn't graduate on time and still wouldn't be able to drop them during the semester anyway, so I picked up another course as a backup plan. Then I got everything fixed, so I was taking 5 courses. Now for this semester, I didn't know how difficult my senior course would or wouldn't be and I only needed 3 to graduate, so that's all I took. IMMEDIATELY, I start getting a few phone calls all the time about why I wasn't taking more classes, it's my time to learn, this is all getting paid for, stuff like that. Not only would graduating with extra credits mean nothing, (even with 3 courses, I'm actually STILL graduating with extra credits, and only took 3 courses so I could keep the requirement of my scholarship) but I've gotten my GPA in my core classes to a point where even an A- lowers it. Why in God's name would I take another class? I think the only reason he didn't pull me out or force me to take more was because I aced all those 5 classes and it's my last semester.
*edit* at least yours pretends to feel bad
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Re: Hate Thread
Touche. I dunno, I wasn't really thinking my part out I guess... all I know is that the yuri thing is better than shoving your dick in her face.
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Re: Hate Thread
oh I'm with ya on that, and there's no telling whether or not your option is sound, I'm just on a little bit of a rant here, driving it a little too close to home
oh I'm with ya on that, and there's no telling whether or not your option is sound, I'm just on a little bit of a rant here, driving it a little too close to home
Luppikun
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Re: Hate Thread
Yeah, she 'likes' yuri... (read: she pretends to just so I dont go insane from yaoi, yaoi, yaoi.)
Plus, shoving my dick in her face would be highly counterproductive.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows where I'm coming from with this problem... Besides, I don't even know of any yuri apart from videos. Don't know of any manga...
Yeah, she 'likes' yuri... (read: she pretends to just so I dont go insane from yaoi, yaoi, yaoi.)
Plus, shoving my dick in her face would be highly counterproductive.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows where I'm coming from with this problem... Besides, I don't even know of any yuri apart from videos. Don't know of any manga...
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Re: Hate Thread
Well then I say best bet is to suck it up and fuck a guy on her bed.
Well then I say best bet is to suck it up and fuck a guy on her bed.
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Re: Hate Thread
many of my friends are into yaoi, and they seem to almost universaly be bi. however its really more like pan sexual.
only on her birthday, if you give that out just because it will get her expectations up, then on your birthday you can have her make out with a girl.
many of my friends are into yaoi, and they seem to almost universaly be bi. however its really more like pan sexual.
Unknown Squid
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Re: Hate Thread
I can't quite imagine how these situations must be playing out to make it such a problem. If she's expecting conversation about Yaoi or just plain rambling about it, then I would have thought a "meh" attitude and non participation would solve things. If she's physically forcing it in your face, then that sounds like a good opportunity for a play fight. Toxics advice seems good, and fits with a lot of disputes regarding any subject really, I just can't see where the real issue comes from. Sounds a little more like a convenient excuse to me, but then I really don't know either you or your girlfriend.
I'm probably just picking on stereotypes, but y'know, that's what I've seen. I can't help but end up thinking that if I was a Yaoi fan, I'd be disappointed.
[Edit]
On a side note, despite my criticism of "typical yaoi" there, I'll point out I fully support it. Since, well, I like my yuri.
I can't quite imagine how these situations must be playing out to make it such a problem. If she's expecting conversation about Yaoi or just plain rambling about it, then I would have thought a "meh" attitude and non participation would solve things. If she's physically forcing it in your face, then that sounds like a good opportunity for a play fight. Toxics advice seems good, and fits with a lot of disputes regarding any subject really, I just can't see where the real issue comes from. Sounds a little more like a convenient excuse to me, but then I really don't know either you or your girlfriend.
Personally my problem is with the stories and characters, and on the side, the typical art style as well. I'm hardly a connoisseur of the genre or anything, and so won't pretend I know all about it nor can I speak for every series out there, but most of what I see I can't help but cringe at. Again, not because it's gay, but just the way the characters behave and are portrayed. There always seems to be a strange love triangle between one overly effeminate submissive guy who might as well be a girl, an asshole who might as well be a rapist, and some other mysterious douche bag who attempts to complicate things. In the opening chapters there will be a scene where every unnamed guy in the class/street swoons as the effeminate submissive/"elegant" douche walks by/in. Also, too many roses. And chains on the cover art, too many chains... >_> (being fussy now. Take with grain of salt.)
I'm probably just picking on stereotypes, but y'know, that's what I've seen. I can't help but end up thinking that if I was a Yaoi fan, I'd be disappointed.
[Edit]
On a side note, despite my criticism of "typical yaoi" there, I'll point out I fully support it. Since, well, I like my yuri.
Last edited:
Luppikun
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Re: Hate Thread
You do have a point, squid. That does explain most yaoi, but I used to read shoujo, so that doesn't bother me...
As for what exactly she does involving yaoi, here's a list:
Drools over the guys
Does yaoi role-plays
Tells me the plot of every single one (they all have similar plots...)
I'm sure I'm forgetting some.
You do have a point, squid. That does explain most yaoi, but I used to read shoujo, so that doesn't bother me...
As for what exactly she does involving yaoi, here's a list:
Drools over the guys
Does yaoi role-plays
Tells me the plot of every single one (they all have similar plots...)
I'm sure I'm forgetting some.
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JohnDoe
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Re: Hate Thread
@sinfulwolf
Yeah, i was joking.
My point being that you can't reason with someone if you don't know what the real problem is, it's like trying to stop a fire with a water gun, and you can't address the real problem because she is probably not aware of it herself.
In my experience if you can avoid mines and make sure she gets out her pent up stress, while not giving her a good reason to leave the room first, and manage to end the discussion in a draw, you can get out of it with only a good amount of suppressed rage, that usually some good videogame violence can solve in 5 minutes, or some good old make up sex.
You can't solve the problem because it would imply changing her behavior pattern and this is something only she can do to herself, you either are mature enough to accept you can't change someone against their will, and keep helping her release her stress, or you force yourself to be mature enough to do that(as i think you're doing by your being tired of it), building a keg yourself, or you drop the relationship(because all other actions result in hatred and pain).
Obviously this doesn't apply to every relationships.
@Luppikun
If you really hate yaoi she's an asshole for forcing it on you and you have a right to tell her to keep her fetish in check, if it's not that big of a problem(as it seems to be from your "i'd kiss a guy" statement) this goes in the ranting thread...
@sinfulwolf
Yeah, i was joking.
Hahahaha, women's structure of bullying in a nutshell. The main problem is that she is upset to begin with from a number of small things, there is no way to win this kind of discussions, since you lose by accepting the challenge, the only thing you can do is control the focus of the discussion, avoid critical subjects and limit the damage as much as possible. This behavior is very common among women of all ages, rarely seen in men, probably because female minds are more apt to multitasking, usually when a man complains about something you can tell that's the thing that bothers him, simpler minds, impulsive behavior. When a woman do that you can never tell for sure what the origin of the problem is, because generally they tend to force themselves to be more "mature" by ignoring small things and accepting the partner's flaws without complaining, as a result these things they can't really ignore, cause humans subconcious is a bitch, builds up inside into a powder keg that burst when you less expect it to, just need a spark to light an association of idea process and boom...
My point being that you can't reason with someone if you don't know what the real problem is, it's like trying to stop a fire with a water gun, and you can't address the real problem because she is probably not aware of it herself.
In my experience if you can avoid mines and make sure she gets out her pent up stress, while not giving her a good reason to leave the room first, and manage to end the discussion in a draw, you can get out of it with only a good amount of suppressed rage, that usually some good videogame violence can solve in 5 minutes, or some good old make up sex.
You can't solve the problem because it would imply changing her behavior pattern and this is something only she can do to herself, you either are mature enough to accept you can't change someone against their will, and keep helping her release her stress, or you force yourself to be mature enough to do that(as i think you're doing by your being tired of it), building a keg yourself, or you drop the relationship(because all other actions result in hatred and pain).
Obviously this doesn't apply to every relationships.
@Luppikun
If you really hate yaoi she's an asshole for forcing it on you and you have a right to tell her to keep her fetish in check, if it's not that big of a problem(as it seems to be from your "i'd kiss a guy" statement) this goes in the ranting thread...
Ranger Princess
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Re: Hate Thread
Maybe it would be a good opportunity for you to ask her to do something with you that you are equally passionate about. I take it your not passionate about yuri, so could be something else. I don't know what your passionate about, but for example.....let's say you really enjoy going to see plays and she won't go with you. Sounds like you would have some leverage to get her to go with you there. That way each of you are making some sacrifice for each other.
Maybe it would be a good opportunity for you to ask her to do something with you that you are equally passionate about. I take it your not passionate about yuri, so could be something else. I don't know what your passionate about, but for example.....let's say you really enjoy going to see plays and she won't go with you. Sounds like you would have some leverage to get her to go with you there. That way each of you are making some sacrifice for each other.
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Re: Hate Thread
The thing is John, the argument doesn't even start off as something personal, it could be us seeing two different points of view on something totally unrelated like I don't understand why this is a huge point for video game developers and I'll explain how things work, and then suddenly it's a sarcastic remark that is designed to both make me look like I don't know what I'm talking about and change the subject. I feel like standing there in shock with my arms out and going ".. what the fuck?"
The thing is John, the argument doesn't even start off as something personal, it could be us seeing two different points of view on something totally unrelated like I don't understand why this is a huge point for video game developers and I'll explain how things work, and then suddenly it's a sarcastic remark that is designed to both make me look like I don't know what I'm talking about and change the subject. I feel like standing there in shock with my arms out and going ".. what the fuck?"
JohnDoe
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Re: Hate Thread
Yeah, that's the spark i was talking about. For example, if it starts while you're trying to explain something, it might be triggered by a common behavior you have while speaking, she might feel like you are trying to teach her, which may give her an inferiority feeling, which may trigger a state insecurity, which may trigger a reaction. In a state of inner tranquility this whole process is born and dies in an instant, if one is tense though, there might be other problems or she might have had a bad day, it might trigger a little outburst, she makes a sarcastic joke because that puts her back on top by weakening your standpoint and granting her a little form of satisfaction, by breaking your self-confidence she consolidate hers(everyone does that, aware or not), she probably doesn't do it on purpose, probably couldn't stop it and feels a little guilty the moment after(depending on her level of stress and how much of that stress is your fault), but she's human, doesn't matter how much mature she think she is or how hard she wants to be, everyone has a breaking point. That's when you decide if it's worth it to take the challenge, usually it's worth it, mostly because if you let things build up too much the explosion could kill you(see these kind of things in the news a lot).
I don't know you, so it's more of a wild guess than a suggestion, but she probably needs a little more complicity from your side, humans are insecure beings and most commonly tend to drift toward a seclusion state in order to shield themselves from all the "bad things", you can't force their shell open without a traumatic event, words don't work, you have to stand there and offer your hand with patience and perseverance, showing that you care, showing that they can trust you, that they can rely on you, it's the same as with animals, the more you try to force it the more they withdraw. This might seem an exageration, but everything starts with small steps and this is why it's such a fucking pain when you try to be the mature one, because every fucking time you get angry and just want to go on a rage you have to realize that doing so will only backfire, it won't work and just cause more troubles...
Yeah, that's the spark i was talking about. For example, if it starts while you're trying to explain something, it might be triggered by a common behavior you have while speaking, she might feel like you are trying to teach her, which may give her an inferiority feeling, which may trigger a state insecurity, which may trigger a reaction. In a state of inner tranquility this whole process is born and dies in an instant, if one is tense though, there might be other problems or she might have had a bad day, it might trigger a little outburst, she makes a sarcastic joke because that puts her back on top by weakening your standpoint and granting her a little form of satisfaction, by breaking your self-confidence she consolidate hers(everyone does that, aware or not), she probably doesn't do it on purpose, probably couldn't stop it and feels a little guilty the moment after(depending on her level of stress and how much of that stress is your fault), but she's human, doesn't matter how much mature she think she is or how hard she wants to be, everyone has a breaking point. That's when you decide if it's worth it to take the challenge, usually it's worth it, mostly because if you let things build up too much the explosion could kill you(see these kind of things in the news a lot).
I don't know you, so it's more of a wild guess than a suggestion, but she probably needs a little more complicity from your side, humans are insecure beings and most commonly tend to drift toward a seclusion state in order to shield themselves from all the "bad things", you can't force their shell open without a traumatic event, words don't work, you have to stand there and offer your hand with patience and perseverance, showing that you care, showing that they can trust you, that they can rely on you, it's the same as with animals, the more you try to force it the more they withdraw. This might seem an exageration, but everything starts with small steps and this is why it's such a fucking pain when you try to be the mature one, because every fucking time you get angry and just want to go on a rage you have to realize that doing so will only backfire, it won't work and just cause more troubles...
Ranger Princess
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Re: Hate Thread
I hate how my cell phone echos sometimes. I have no idea why it does it, but I just talked with a friend for 2 hours, and I'm pretty sure I heard myself talking back about half of the time... It's really creepy, awkward, and distracting. And I'm pretty sure it made me subconsciously talk loud and sound stupid.
I hate how my cell phone echos sometimes. I have no idea why it does it, but I just talked with a friend for 2 hours, and I'm pretty sure I heard myself talking back about half of the time... It's really creepy, awkward, and distracting. And I'm pretty sure it made me subconsciously talk loud and sound stupid.
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Re: Hate Thread
That could've been because your friend put you on speaker phone.
That could've been because your friend put you on speaker phone.
lurker
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Re: Hate Thread
MAN THE ESCAPE PODS! ABANDON SHIP! SET THE SELF DESTRUCT CODES!!! *runs around in circles*